You Have to See This! Nightmare Sisters (1987)

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Watching so many independent movies over the years, you can tell when a movie was made on a limited budget, and “Nightmare Sisters” shows big time. That’s not a caveat, but it is blatantly obvious that director David DeCoteau made this film as a quick shoot in a set the studio could actually afford. That only really adds to the charm of “Nightmare Sisters,” and the enduring cult appeal of the film that teamed the horror scream queen heavyweights Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer together. It’s no shock that allegedly DeCoteau made “Nightmare Sisters” with left over film and money from “Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl O Rama.”

You could literally watch the pair as a double feature and never miss a beat as their premises are similar, as are their darkly comic tones. Nerdy Melody, Marci and Mickey spend their days wiling the time away on their goofy hobbies. Anxious to go on dates, they invite the three pledges from the local frat over for a fun night, and despite their reservations the three geeky gentlemen oblige hoping to get laid. After a boring night, antique collector Marci brings out her magic orb for a fun séance. The nerdy threesome are turned in to voracious nude sex starved vixens. Little do the three frat boys know, the girls are hungry, but it’s not for sex.

“Nightmare Sisters” doesn’t take itself seriously and approaches the entire material with a stern tongue in cheek, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t supply a darn good premise with oodles of potential for a wider scope. It would have been entertaining to see the trio of vixens walking around the local college in the buff feasting on men and seducing literally everyone in to a state of amorous paralysis. But you make due with what you can and you’re thankful to see three insanely sexy and charismatic women taking the roles so over the top, they’re never afraid to be goofy.

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Quigley, Stevens, and Bauer even play nerds well, especially when the costumes and effects falter. Quigley dons a goofy set of fate buck teeth and walks hunched over awkwardly for most of the movie, Stevens dons thick glasses and primarily relies on being utterly boring, while Bauer’s shtick is the funniest, and most Politically Incorrect. “Nightmare Sisters” relies on the classic eighties device of fat shaming, as Bauer’s character is the heavy of the trio, spending her time gorging over food. It becomes comical in its horrible effect, as Bauer simply doesn’t look overweight. It’s clear the producers merely put thick clothing on Bauer and layered them atop one another to give off the impression Bauer’s character Mickey is obese.

It becomes blatantly ridiculous when we see her “fat” body over her very thin set face. But then again “Nightmare Sisters” thrives on the eighties stereotypes and never apologizes for it. Much of the first half of the movie revolves around exposition and setting up a lot of the scenarios for the future, exploring how unpopular the girls are and their discussions on how boring Marci has a fetish for collecting mysterious antiques from every corner of the country. This comes in to play in the second half when the magic ball is introduced, allowing at least some foreshadowing rather than the character just pulling the plot device out of thin air.

It’s also good to note the comedic peeks at how dull she can be when Stevens shows up dressed as a schoolgirl. There’s a heavy emphasis on Micki eating for a great reason as when she finally becomes an insanely sexy vixen, she shoves a peeled banana down her mouth and deep throats it without even missing a beat. I’m not sure if it’s great editing or if Bauer can actually pull off the trick, but it’s a damn memorable scene, and Bauer’s sex appeal increases every second she’s on screen in her home made cave girl outfit.

It also becomes plainly obvious that the comedic focus on Quigley’s character’s tone deafness will transform in to an inevitable musical number where she can suddenly belt out a tune and look amazing doing so. As predicted, Quigley commits to a performance of the excellent rock tune “Santa Monica Blvd. Boys,” which she often sang with her band The Skirts. Quigley is a born performer, and though the song has almost nothing to do with the movie’s narrative, it’s a fun diversion.

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DeCoteau knows exactly what kind of people he’s working with, so once the women transform in to deadly vixens, there are endless moments of them scampering around and desperately trying to seduce the unsuspecting frat boys that came to their party. Things take a twist when more popular frat boys kidnap the original male guests and take their place as sexual partners. This series of events goes painfully awry, as they immediately become food for the trio of succubi.

When protagonist Kevin and their friends do everything in their power to resist the sexual allure of the trio of vixens, we meet the Exorcist, a priest played by Jim Culver who also pulls off resisting their feminine wiles and adds some comic levity to the already silly events. The women make good use of their partners by feasting on their essence through their testicles, making for some of the funnier moments of terror. Just think of being with someone like Michelle Bauer only to have her dig in to you with a mouth full of sharp teeth. “Nightmare Sisters” takes from the formula of “Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl O Rama” and offers up a new kind of wish granting in the form of succubi, and there are no better people to exemplify the ideal image and allure of succubus than Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens, and Linnea Quigley.

Over the years, “Nightmare Sisters” has gained a cult following thanks to its rarity, but is really a testament to low budget film making. It works on a slim narrative, low budget, and little resources, but still works as a goofy, silly, and entertaining bit of horror comedy. It also has the privilege of featuring the top scream queens of the eighties starring, offering up their prime assets for the camera and devouring unsuspecting men.

Five Reasons Why You Should Buy “Freaks and Geeks”

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We “Freaks and Geeks” fans are a small but loyal community that have known who Judd Apatow and Paul Feig were before they became directors and producers of various hit theatrical comedies. Before storming the box office, Feig, with executive producer Judd Apatow, created the short lived “Freaks and Geeks” which sadly only lasted one season. Thankfully the show lived on thanks to the internet and gained a new fanbase by playing the series on cable. That’s how I discovered the series and fell in love with it.

After a campaign from fans online, “Freaks and Geeks” finally garnered a very acclaimed deluxe release on DVD, and now after many, many years, Shout! Factory is offering fans a brand new deluxe Blu-Ray release of “Freaks And Geeks.” As a fan of the series, I highly suggest it to folks that love coming of age period drama comedies as it’s right up there with “Wonder Years” and “Happy Days.” Here are five reasons why you should buy the new release if you’ve never seen the series before.

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You’re Killing Me (2015)

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A group of gay friends welcome one of the guys’ new boyfriend in their mist. Joe is just like them they think, except for the fact that he is a serial killer who doesn’t bother to hide it. In fact, he flat out tells his new man George who thinks it’s some hilarious long running joke. As people around them start to disappear and the random idle chatter never ceases, George may need to reassess his new adorable boyfriend. The story written by Jim Hansen and Jeffery Self has a fairly simple premise: What happens if a serial killer, after admitting it to himself, is completely open about what he’s doing but no one pays attention because we are all too busy talking about our lives and celebrities?

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Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales (DVD)

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Ever since Disney bought “Star Wars,” the company has been working over time to put back the credibility in the series. Lego always has a knack for delivering some of the wittiest and most entertaining animated series, but they have a great time with “Star Wars.” Not only do they pinpoint the inherent wackiness of the universe, but they have a ball taking the piss out of the awful prequels. Set immediately after the climax of “Return of the Jedi,” C3P0 and R2 are asked by their friends to regale them with tales of the clone wars and fall of the Jedi. With C3P0’s memory conveniently in hand thanks to R2, they begin telling them the oh so inconsistent tales of how Anakin descended in to the dark side. Hilarity ensues.

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The Good Dinosaur (2015) [Blu-ray/DVD/Digital]

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It’s a shame that “The Good Dinosaur” will forever be regarded as one of Pixar’s black sheep titles. Because as a whole it’s one of their most original and unique tales that channels the modern Western to invoke a tale about family, getting over one’s own shortcomings, and learning that life is often senseless and unfair. Pixar uses the aesthetic of the dinosaur to help induce the idea of nature and how the environment around us is both an element we must fear and respect in the long run. As with most Pixar films, “The Good Dinosaur” doesn’t justify the idea of death with simplicity, nor does it coddle the intended target audience. It instead takes us through a large journey and tells us that yes, life is hard, yes life is very unfair, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop living.

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Fuller House

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Speaking as a guy who loves “Full House,” grew up watching it, and even spent his own money on the complete series on DVD, I’m surprised that I’m not the person “Fuller House” is apparently targeted toward. Granted, I love my fair share of nineties nostalgia, and will spend hours savoring on even the most minute nineties details, but “Fuller House” fails mainly because it is painfully aware that it’s a television show. Granted, I wouldn’t argue “Full House” is high art, but they embraced the sitcom formula, despite the far fetched story line and inconsistencies in story. “Fuller House” knows it’s a sitcom, feels like a very long sketch for a late night talk show, and even breaks the fourth wall. Even in the worst of episodes, “Full House” never broke the fourth wall and never acknowledged that it’s a goofy sitcom mainly for the family.

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Prehysteria! 2 (1994)

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Like every studio, Moonbeam and Charles Band were seeking their fortune with their own version of “Home Alone” that would bring in the big bucks. With sub-par efforts like “Remote,” there was also the “Prehysteria!” movies which always featured the owners of a foursome of miniature dinosaurs battling evil grown ups of some kind. Set immediately after the original, the foursome of dinosaurs now live with their new family The Taylors in the green house. Seeking to have their chance to feast on the family’s large crop of raisins, they’re accidentally scooped in to a large crate and sent off for shipping by local farmers. Luckily, they’re discovered by bratty but lonely rich boy Brendan, who befriends the miniature dinosaurs, and tries to keep them a secret from his mean house keeper Miss Whitney.

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