I am not ashamed to admit that not only is “Cobra” a child hood favorite of mine, but it’s a movie I still quite love, if only for its unique villain. When you take a pumped up anti-hero like Cobra, you have to give him someone to match, and George P. Cosmatos gives us a serial killer cult leader who plans to lead a New World Order of other serial killers. Their plan is to begin a new civilization by—um—killing a lot of people? I wasn’t quite sure what the big plan was. The muddled plan by the film’s villain is made up for by Brian Thompson who is just the ultimate bad guy on film. He’s creepy, menacing, and can deliver lines with his deep grunt that make him sound otherworldly. The best aspect of “Cobra” though is Sylvester Stallone who plays Marion “Cobra” Cobretti. How cool and convenient is that name?
Tag Archives: Crime
Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
Where else but an Andy Sidaris film can you watch a movie involving drug smuggling gangster, a busty pair of Blonde mercenaries running around in short shorts, and a sub-plot involving a sneaky venomous snake prone to popping up in oddest places? And what’s more is that “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is played with the utmost sincerity, as director Sidaris unfolds a movie that’s as deliciously bad as its theme song. If there’s any film that should act as an entry point for Andy Sidaris’ repertoire, “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is a great summary of what Sidaris is capable of. “Hard Ticket…” is often silly and so utterly awful from acting to sound mixing, but it embraces its trappings by injecting as much softcore sex and nudity as humanly possible. Did I mention the sub-plot involving the killer snake (read: obvious hand puppet) that spends its time sneering through crevices and murdering random characters?
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (1990) [Blu-Ray]
Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz’s “Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.” is that kind of zany superhero spoof that, with some watering down, probably could have been a Warner Bros. cartoon in the nineties. After having such immense success with Toxie, Troma makes a second grab for cult fame, hoping to catch lightning in a bottle once again. Thankfully, not only is Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. one of Troma’s most iconic and popular characters who stands proudly beside Toxie, but his movie is good to boot. “Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.” is filled with the typical Troma tropes that make it such a blast. The acting is iffy, the violence is gruesome, the humor is off the wall and original, and the pacing is break neck.
Model by Day (1994)
If you ever wonder what comic book fans who grew up the nineties mean when they mention there being slim pickings on television by way of superheroes and fantasy, look no further than “Model By Day.” Penned by Jeph Loeb “Model by Day” was about as good as it got in the realm of live action superheroes. Before she became an X-Man, Famke Jannsen took on the role of the hero known as Lady X for this failed television movie and backdoor pilot. Back in 1994, The Fox Network’s big draw was sleazy soap operas, so they endeavored to make their own superhero show by adapting an indie comic that was a weird mixture of “Models, Inc.” and “Batman.”
The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (1989)
It’s been a while since David Banner has been on the road and he’s now looking for new lodgings in New York (aka Canada) under the guise of David Belson. After an incident involving a pair of jewel thieves on a train attacking a woman, David is forced to invoke the monster of the Hulk, which results in unfortunate casualties. After wreaking havoc as the green monster, David is arrested and is shocked to learn the women he saved on the train from the robbers is claiming David attacked her. He’s also being blamed for the unfortunate shooting of an elderly man during the attack. Realizing the pair of criminals were under the pay of local crime boss Wilson Fisk, David tries to clear his name along with his new attorney Matt Murdock. Little does David know that Matt is a vigilante by night known as Daredevil.
The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)
Even after “Superman: The Movie” and its somewhat successful franchise, the idea of turning comic books in to movies or a TV show was a rare prospect. Studios considered it a gamble as then comic books were considered a kids medium, so it was an anomaly for something like the Incredible Hulk to be adapted in to a successful drama that stayed in syndication for a long time. Six years after the end of the series, Bill Bixby returns to the role of David Banner, a scientist now living in a seaside town with his girlfriend. He’s mostly lived a quiet life and is helping to create a machine that can decay gamma radiation. Though he’s helping the local lab to create it, he’s also hoping to use it as a means of killing the hulk and end his curse.
Double Blast (1994)
“Home Alone” begat “3 Ninjas,” which begat cheap, kiddie, straight to video, action fare like “Double Blast.” Mixing the appeal of the adventure movie with kids fighting crime, both of which were oddly prevalent in the decade, “Double Blast” is the epitome of the poorly constructed cash ins that littered video stores. The movie is so bad that often times you can see the pair of heroes burst in to laughter as they engage in martial arts with the film’s comedic henchmen. Jimmy and Lisa are an adventurous brother and sister who love to get in to adventures involving ninjas and martial arts. When their dad, a professional kick boxer and widower named Greg goes out for the day to compete in a tournament, rather than take them along, the pair of kids ultimately gets in to big trouble back in town.