Five More Movie Characters I Want to Marry

tiffany

If you’re a pop culture fanatic, you’ve come across one or two fictional characters in your lifetime that you become smitten with and sometimes fall for. It’s entirely possible and happens more frequently than most people realize. I had such a good time compiling my last list of Ten Movie Characters I Want to Marry, that I thought for the upcoming arrival of Valentine’s Day, I’d celebrate by listing Five More Movie Characters I’d Love to Marry.

Who are some movie characters you’d marry if given the opportunity? Let us know in the comments. And Happy Valentine’s, you filthy animal.

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The Woods (2014)

thewoods

Director Remington Smith’s “The Woods” is quite an accomplishment, mainly because it’s a film set in the middle of a snowy tundra implementing zero special effects. The centerpiece of “The Woods” is our character’s surroundings and how she has to adapt to the snowy wasteland of the woods. Apparently Smith and cinematographer Joshua Yates used mostly natural lighting for their film, resulting in a masterfully eerie and haunting short film set during a fight for survival. There’s so much conveyed in “The Woods” and yet there isn’t single word of dialogue spoken.

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Dead Sharks (2015)

DeadSharks

Nic Barker’s short film is an idea that could have easily translated in to a compelling romance drama. Barker practices the idea of mumblecore and it works beautifully to convey a foursome of relationships that have either reach their expiration date, or are about to very soon. “Dead Sharks” is more of an ensemble drama based around the Woody Allen quote about how relationships have to move forward like sharks or they die. These relationships are attempting to move forward, but it doesn’t take a genius to see they’re dead.

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Occupants (2015)

Occupants

For anyone like me who take interest in the concept of parallel worlds, director Russell Emanuel embraces the found footage sub-genre while also dodging the gimmicky trappings in favor of a much more intelligent genre title involving the scientific idea. “Occupants” explores the theory of parallel realities, and how it’s theorized our lives can align with alternate versions of ourselves. Much like “Paranormal Activity,” Emanuel sets his film primarily in one setting, but the similarities end there. Emanuel has his finger on the pulse of science fiction, exploring a realm where every movement is intricate and our characters begin to dabble in the God Complex resulting in some absolutely horrendous consequences.

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The Tall Man (2012)

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Pascal Laugier’s “The Tall Man” is one dry heave of a drama that paints itself as a horror movie. Worse more it pretends to be a take on “The Slender Man” when really it’s just one heaping helping of melodrama about kidnapped kids and altruistic nurses taking their love for them one step too far. It’s a shame, too, since the opening montage isn’t only creepy, but seems to be setting us up for one hell of an eerie and haunting horror film built on a scary premise. I wanted to invest time in the film once the initial hook runs its course. It’s just sad that the film itself never lives up to any of its promise.

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Teen Witch (1989)

teenwitch

“Teen Witch” is one of the last relics of the eighties that isn’t just a fantasy for teen girls based around the joy of superficiality and empty popularity, but something of a cheesy comedy that absolutely embraces its idiocy time and time again. The unapologetic cheesiness and truly awful values of “Teen Witch” is often so bad, and yet so damn charming to endure. You almost have to admire it for building up to an anti-climax that boasts about how great it is to have the guy of your dreams, even if he’s as deep as a Koi pond. Dorian Walker’s film also dares to embrace the hip hop genre with a trio of young white men from the suburbs. Thank goodness for Larry Weir.

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The Revenant (2015)

The-Revenant

With “The Revenant,” Alejandro González Iñárritu pulls off a wonderful vision with amazing cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, posing the wilderness of South Dakota as something of an omnipresent force that works against every single character from the moment we step on to the snow covered woodlands. “The Revenant” works around a simple tale of revenge and enduring the elements all to convey the sheer unforgiving world that protagonist Hugh Glass has to venture across simply to avenge his own son. The weather and terrain holds no prisoners and garners zero bias, enduring the war of man and being covered in the blood of the violated while offering as much punishment as it’s dealt. Director Iñárritu’s “The Revenant” is a grueling epic that views what lengths main character Hugh Glass is willing to go through to ensure justice is served.

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