Even with the great Genndy Tartakovsky behind the screen, I held out almost no hope for “Hotel Transylvania,” because even in an animated film for kids, Adam Sandler is never above casting his slew of pseudo talented friends as the supporting cast. Like most Sandler productions, “Hotel Transylvania” can occasionally be loud and silly, but when it reaches down for a heart, it manages to be a sweet bit of family fare.
As far as murder mystery movies about evil houses, “The House of Seven Corpses” is not a masterpiece. I’m by no means intent on watching it again for at least a few years, but it makes a good argument for nonsensical genre fodder that doesn’t even try. The main character’s cat gets in to a stare down with a painting on a wall featuring the head of a severed cat. There’s the “Tibetan Book of the Dead” that’s bandied about like it’s an encyclopedia, and did I mention a zombie pops up in the end? Why? Who the hell knows? The zombie just gets out of its grave, kills the entire cast, carries a naked girl to his grave, and the movie ends.
Compared to other John Carpenter films, “Halloween” demonstrates an amazing amount of restraint for the director. Which is not to say the chaotic elements of “The Thing” and “Assault on Precinct 13” aren’t amazing, but Carpenter displays a surprising competence for pulling back as he does with unleashing hell on a slew of characters. Like many of Carpenter’s films, “Halloween” is also relegated to a limited setting, where the slasher tropes for hundreds of other slasher films would be built. There’s a small town, a curse, a crime that resonates within the community, and a virginal final girl who would stand off against the monster.
I really enjoy the fact that director Peter Leon has access to these incredible special effects, and pretty much just stages a murder mystery aboard a space ship. This premise could have been set anywhere, and that’s why the movie is so fun and creative. The humor doesn’t always land, but when it does, it’s pretty good. The special effects for the most part are spectacular (including the green screen), and I enjoyed how the establishing shots in space put you in the atmosphere of this science fiction comedy.
As with most Nikkatsu Roman Porno, if you’re in it for the hardcore sex, you’re likely going to be disappointed. These films are mainly for the sake of kitsch value and their rarity. “Horny Diver” is one of the many in the later Nikkatsu titles that exercises blurring with the more graphic parts of certain sex scenes.
I’ve warmed up to “Hatchet III” a little bit since I originally saw it. Not a whole lot, but just a tiny bit. Mostly because while Adam Green is still better than what this premise entails, he is actually talented when he decides to be. Like Adam Sandler, he can deliver some true greatness, he just indulges his fan base that asks for more lowbrow entertainment that he makes his bread and butter off of. When most of his fans were mocking Green for directing the PG-13 “Spiral,” I don’t blame the man for sticking to the gore soaked “Hatchet” films to keep his (ugh) “Hatchet Army” by his side.
As a slasher fanatic I really can’t endorse “Hazmat” enough. As a Hispanic male, the almost completely Hispanic cast for “Hazmat” is also another reason why I endorse director Lou Simon’s slasher film. You often see so many slasher films about white kids running back and forth and fighting a slasher, it’s rare that we see a predominantly Hispanic cast facing off against a masked killer.