He’s a skilled serial killer, a slasher along the lines of Jason, and, oh yeah, he’s a self-promoting sensationalist who wants to become a famous slasher of all things teen. Leslie Vernon lives in a world filled with monsters. He lives in a world where Jason, Freddy, and even Michael Myers wreak havoc on innocent victims and young teenagers. And what does Leslie Vernon want? He wants to be like them. And he’ll go through any lengths to live up to their legacies. And wouldn’t you know it? Director Scott Glosserman is about eighty percent of the way there.
Tag Archives: L
LovecraCked! The Movie (2006)
Elias goes for the good old trick of cinema. When all else fails, throw in a hot chick or two. And man, are there ever good looking women here. Gillian MacGregor is one who will burn herself into your brain in “Witch’s Spring” as a rather sexy witch seducing a man, and then there’s Nicky Ladanowski in “Bug boy” a fleeting and rather horrific little skit involving a man’s rage manifesting itself into a monster. Elias’ talent shows, and when he tackles the horror element, he really pulls through in a gritty disturbing manner. Take for the example the weird “RePenetrator” which is surprisingly funny and inappropriately erotic, in which the Dr. West re-animates a body so hot he has to engage in rough sex with it before it turns on him.
Life Imitates Action
Art by Trevor Gentry Birnbaum
Lady in the Water (2006)
M. Night Shyamalan is nothing if not ambitious; I mean he creates films like a child seeking to spin his own stories in his own universe that could form a canon for aspiring filmmakers to launch from, and his vision gets in the way of his film and his fairy tale spins on its own while the film struggles to keep up. I enjoyed most of the fairy tale Shyamalan invents here involving a creature that can camouflage as grass, a mermaid, a giant eagle, and monkeys. If you’re wondering about his famous and infamous surprise ending, there isn’t one. There’s just one plot twist that’s interesting, and that’s all, so I won’t ruin much here. Continue reading
The Legend of Zorro (2005)
The creators of “Legend” have decided to take what made the first film so good and turn the sequel and its story into another “Spy Kids” rip off. Well, not so much “Spy Kids”, but a shameless rip off of “The Mummy Returns”. Male adventurer and female damsel both evolve into settled individuals that happen to have a son who is clever, smart mouthed, and both mutter at some point a variation of “My dad is going to kick your ass” to the grizzled villain. The derivations are so damn shameless that I felt bile of sheer disgust starting this film. The fact that the creators felt the need to add a snot nosed little brat who is there simply as one giant walking cliché, to make the film more “exciting” as merely just obvious pandering to a younger crowd, is condescending, since you figure Zorro did much of that already.
Lipstick & Dynamite, Piss & Vinegar: The First Ladies of Wrestling (2004)
In a world where feminism wasn’t yet discovered, these women basically were the precedent for such an ideal. And they didn’t even know it. All they wanted to do was compete, perform, and basically beat the crap out of each other, all to gain some fandom and fame, and they weren’t aware that they were basically the predecessors of feminism and female empowerment. Thankfully, the documentary doesn’t bog itself down in girl power junk, and instead focuses on the female wrestling industry, one of the more unknown facets in sports–like the WNBA. I kid them.
The Land of College Prophets (2005)
I had fun, yes, I had fun. It has its flaws, and it’s far from a perfect film, but in the end, “Land of the College Prophets” is a fun B action horror that really does bear an original concept. It’s an interesting mixture of many ideas and concepts; a little bit of “Fight Club”, a little bit of “Mortal Kombat”, and a little bit of “In the Mouth of Madness”, it’s without a doubt an odd amalgam of many concepts intertwined in to one fun action flick about the end of the world caused by two considerably self absorbed individuals. I wasn’t sure what to make of this film in the end, because I really wasn’t sure what in the hell it was that I’d just seen, but I liked it.