Warcraft (2016)

WarcraftBoy it’s been a bad year for fantasy cinema in America. Time and time again fantasy films have failed for the most part, and “Warcraft” is one of those casualties. I admittedly have no experience with “Warcraft,” but for those unaware, it’s based on a massive multiplayer role playing game that’s become so popular it’s almost a way of life for most people. It’s a game so terrifyingly addictive, that a cousin of mine even pulled me aside once warning me not to play lest I be sucked in. Now that their Orc world has died, the orc shaman Gul’dan has used dark magic to open up a portal to the human realm of Azeroth.

Once a peaceful land ruled by man, the Orc army known as The Horde, now plan to populate the world and rule over it as their new home led by the noble Orc warrior Durotan. Teamed with a female half Orc named Garona, the human army of Azeroth plan to go to war with them, led by fierce warrior Lothar, their King Llane, and two wizards. Events spiral out of control though when Durotan begins rethinking the invasion and their leader Gul’dan, while Garona is torn between her loyalties to the noble humans and her people. While I’m still convinced video games just won’t translate in to a good movie, “Warcraft” is still a very good time and a nice bit of escapism.

It’s a mess narrative wise, and is painfully convoluted, but often times I found myself very entertained and intrigued by the conflict of the Orc breed struggling to fight for a new world against a human race. There’s also the themes of religious corruption embedded within the giant walking statues and graphic war scenes, which probably also helped enhance the experience. I won’t argue “Warcraft” is a masterpiece, since it tries and often fails to reach “Game of Thrones” levels of drama and intrigue. In the attempts to be just as adult in its character dynamic and ideas about xenophobia, and warfare, it becomes tough to follow.

The first half hour has a lot of information to disperse to the general broader audience, and I literally had to sit at attention to hopefully absorb what exposition the writers were trying to relay to people that have never been in to the digital world of Azeroth. Much to my surprise I cared about the characters and conflicts. I wanted to see sword wielding hero Lothar stop the impending Orc invasion, all the while uncovering the rising evil tide of his kingdom’s powerful mage. Director Duncan Jones splits the time of the film between the Orcs and humans and turns Durotan in to a very complex hero with his own ideas about what can be gained by invading Azeroth.

All the while Jones stages some fun battle sequences, including a showdown between Lothar and a murderous general in the climax. While not everyone’s performances are top notch, Travis Fimmel is great as Lothar, while Toby Kebbell does a bang up job with his motion capture performance as Durotan. It’s up in the air at the moment if “Warcraft” will continue in to a second part of its epic tale; I’m not ashamed to admit I had a good time, and should we be granted a follow up, I just may return to see how the humans win back Azeroth.

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Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985)

star-chaserA long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, uh—I mean, many moons ago in a distant universe, there lived a young miner and slave named Orin. He was a long haired heroic young man who mined for red gems for an advanced race for… whatever reason. It’s never fully explained. One day while in the mines, Orin and his other slaves discover a long lost hilt from a mystical sword that contains advanced powers. Convinced by his friends to break free and fulfill the destiny from he magical entity within the sword, Orin breaks out from his imprisonment with girlfriend Elan, and seeks his destiny.

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Teen Witch (1989)

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“Teen Witch” is one of the last relics of the eighties that isn’t just a fantasy for teen girls based around the joy of superficiality and empty popularity, but something of a cheesy comedy that absolutely embraces its idiocy time and time again. The unapologetic cheesiness and truly awful values of “Teen Witch” is often so bad, and yet so damn charming to endure. You almost have to admire it for building up to an anti-climax that boasts about how great it is to have the guy of your dreams, even if he’s as deep as a Koi pond. Dorian Walker’s film also dares to embrace the hip hop genre with a trio of young white men from the suburbs. Thank goodness for Larry Weir.

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Sanjay’s Super Team (2015)

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Director Sanjay Patel’s short film can pretty much apply to anyone who is either an immigrant or a minority growing up in America. Too often when you come from an ethnic background, living in the country can help you lose sight of your heritage very easily, and you almost find stuff like family and heritage almost unimportant. For young Sanjay, it’s a matter of perspective that gets him to realize that his heritage is rich, interesting and quite magical.

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The Dungeonmaster / Eliminators: Double Feature [Blu-ray]

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Scream Factory continues to deliver for fans of the Empire Pictures and Charles Band era, with a double feature Blu-Ray set featuring two of their most entertaining titles from their heyday. While I’d be hard pressed to call these films masterpieces, they’re nonetheless entertaining and novel genre films that attempt to market on a particular trend. Charles Band was always savvy about aspiring to make films for his company that touched on current cinematic trends and the double feature here from Scream! Factory covers the gamut of pop culture trends quite well.

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Northpole: Open for Christmas (2015)

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Yes, primarily Hallmark have used the “Northpole” movies to sell whatever kitschy Christmas ornament they’re touting for the year, but they’ve accidentally built a neat Christmas movie series I want to see more of. Years ago, I would have really loved the adventures of Clementine the Elf, and her quest to restore the Christmas spirit in one unhappy soul. Right now, she’s still a charming Christmas heroine played by the always adorable Bailee Madison. Madison doesn’t even have to do much to look like an Elf, as she’s given pointy ears, and achieves the rest with her wide smile, and large saucer eyes.

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Excalibur Kid (1999)

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Yet another iteration of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court,” this time around Antony Anderson focuses on what happens when an out of time teen is set to become the king in place of King Arthur. Jason McSkimming gives a tolerable performance as young Zack, a teen who is angry about moving away from his home and longs to be a part of medieval times where honor and evil were easy to tell apart. Or some nonsense like that, I was never sure what he was rambling about. Zack is so anxious to go back in time he wills it thanks to the magic of the evil Morgause.

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