Hardcore Henry (2016) [Blu-Ray/Digital]

hardcorehenryblu-rayAll I have to say is thank goodness “Hardcore Henry” bombed, even after its unique publicity campaign. I’d really hate to have five other movies out there in theaters trying to copy this wretched movie’s formula. “Hardcore Henry” isn’t even really a movie, as it has no narrative, zero characterization, and is essentially just a series of cut scenes from a video game meant to evoke the fantasies of fourteen year old boys with rage issues. The plot, I use the term loosely, feels like a concept for an NES game in 1991, where LJN saw “Robocop” and decided to create their own clone. “Hardcore Henry” is essentially like watching someone play a video game.

At first it’s a novelty then it becomes incredibly monotonous. Even with director Ilya Naishuller putting our hero through the wringer as he pulls out people’s intestines, battles a flame throwing assassin, and watches soldiers bounce from grenade explosions, I was bored by it all. It’s not so much that the movie is so fast and relentlessly loud, but it’s too fast to the point where the running, chasing, fighting and explosions become so repetitive. I eventually began to grow so accustomed to exploding heads, and bodies being thrown off buildings, that I was wishing for one moment where characters would sit down and explain something, or discuss a bit of exposition that didn’t sound like video game instructions.

To make the events so dull and miserable, character Henry conveniently has no voice, making him easily the most paper thin action hero in movie history. Without a personality, emotions, a voice, or even occasional glimpses at his face and reactions, all we’re left with is a stale attempt to turn the viewer in to some sort of avatar for an action hero who is indestructible and blowing people up left and right without consequence. It doesn’t help that the movie seems to realize it has no story of substance and leans heavily on long drawn out action and weak moments of suspense. The further Henry flees from the super secret cyborg making organization led by the albino psychic mutant guy, the less sense the movie makes.

We all know the minute we see the group of undead cyborgs that Henry will have to fight them all at the same time to get to the final boss of the movie, so why should we even care about why they were invented, and what threats they serve? “Hardcore Henry” is a miserable, and tedious gimmick that feels like cut scenes from a stale Sega CD beat em up game, spliced together to form a limp cinematic experience. It’s a cheap, shallow gimmick that I’m glad failed, and it’s one I hope never catches on.

The Blu-Ray release comes with a Digital Copy. We’re given four deleted scenes emphasizing Henry’s battles, and a twelve minute fan chat with supporting actor Sharlto Copley and Writer/Director Ilya Naishuller, both of whom answer fan questions. Finally there are two audio commentaries. There’s one with Director and Producer Ilya Naishuller who covers the movie in very fine detail including the pacing, visual effects and much more. The second audio commentary features Director and Producer Ilya Naishuller and Star and Executive Producer Sharlto Copley, both of whom cover the same line of insight and details from the first commentary, with Copley adding his own interplay.

Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)

batman-killingjokeDC And Warner have at their hands one of the most iconic Batman narratives of all time, a narrative that asks the question if the Joker is truly someone too weak to endure a really awful life, or if he can submit someone to so much pain they can become exactly like him. All it takes is one bad day, he insists. “The Killing Joke” is surprisingly only seventy six minutes in length and still manages to feel way too long. For an iconic story with such a meaty premise, DC and Warner obviously have absolutely no idea how to put it to screen, and manage to botch this adaptation big time. With “The Killing Joke” we have to endure what is one long winded and dull prologue that leads literally to nowhere, just to allow the viewer to connect to heroine Batgirl.

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The Toxic Avenger (1984) [Fantasia International Film Festival 2016]

toxicavengerThe character that helped build Troma in to the company we know and love it as today, is still a wonderful and fun anti-hero who finds himself dropped in to fate’s door after a mean prank pulled on him one day. In Tromaville New Jersey, Melvin is a young janitor for a local health club dominated by a pair of muscle bound bullies. By day, the bullies roam around the club taunting Melvin and hanging around with their busty girlfriends, but by night they’re vicious hit and run murderers that take joy in killing children and helpless animals. After Melvin accidentally runs afoul one of the bullies, his girlfriend invites Melvin to a private rendezvous on the condition he wear a pink tutu.

After realizing he’s been the victim of a prank, Melvin crashes through a window and falls in to a drum of toxic ooze. Disfigured and transformed in to the muscle bound Toxic Avenger, he roams the streets of Tromaville murdering criminals and rapists, and laying down the law with his handy mop. Despite the very low budget, “The Toxic Avenger” works as a simultaneous superhero action tale and monster movie. A lot like “Robocop,” Troma’s superhero gets the job done in the most violent manner possible.

Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman are never above being as splatterific as possible, showing off a ton of gruesome moments including Toxie taking off a thug’s nose, and tearing another’s arm clean off. Of course a lot of the movie doesn’t reserve the grue for the bad guys, eliciting genuine cringe inducing moment when Melvin is turned in to the Toxic Avenger. Even for an indie film in 1984, the sight of Melvin’s skin pulsing and bulging from the toxic waste is grotesque and you hate to see such a goofy protagonist be reduced to this monster. Toxie is kept in the dark for most of his introduction, as he begins feeling his way around his strengths and weaknesses, and realizing his mutation allows him a chance to fight evil.

He begins to take on the bigger nemesis when he realizes the local police force is run by a corrupt chief and his sergeant whose attitude is very Nazi like. Herz and Kaufman give Toxie some time to even fall in love with a beautiful blond girl, and do battle with the villains from the gym. “The Toxic Avenger” is still a fun and off the wall action horror movie with its own twist on the superhero sub-genre. Leave it to Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz to take typical superhero tropes and twist in to something wonderfully gruesome and absurd.

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Iron City Chronicles: Bitter Heart (2015)

BitterHeartNOW SEEKING FUNDING ON KICKSTARTER – It’s a real testament to Jason Turner’s talent that he’s able to pull off such a unique neo-noir with such a low budget. “Bitter Heart” is kind of a sequel to the original adventures of robotic private investigator Iron Joe. After being plagued with nightmares of a lost love, Joe is contacted by his ex-colleagues from Iron City’s police force when a young man is mysteriously assassinated. Linking evidence on the scene to a specific culprit, Iron Joe goes looking for the minds behind the murder and runs afoul a lot of interesting thugs willing to protect some secrets.

In particular, Iron Joe is on the track of a lead named Stoker, who is a CEO of Teknika, a corporation responsible for the robotic augmentations in the entire city. What link this assassination has with Stoker remains wholly ambiguous, but it’s intriguing to see how far Iron Joe is willing to go to take aim at corruption in the city. With some neat special effects both CGI and traditional, Turner unleashes this bold and unique wasteland where Iron Joe has somewhat bitten off more than he can chew with his assistant J.E.S.S. I hope we get to see how Iron Joe fares in the future, as “Bitter Heart” is a wicked prologue to an epic crime thriller.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016): Ultimate Edition [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

BvSFrom the man who gave us such rousing successes as “Sucker Punch” comes a new vision of Batman and Superman that’s pitch black, violent, and painfully stupid. Zack Snyder is a man with so much admiration for Alan Moore and Frank Miller, he spends the majority of “Batman v Superman” ripping them off wholesale. Snyder’s film is such a botched job he works in reverse, and takes the time out to deconstruct his vision of the iconic superheroes we haven’t even gotten to know yet. But hey, at least we get to see Bruce Wayne’s parents murdered in an alleyway once again. To make matters worse, the film is long, overstuffed, and painfully boring.

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What The Fantasia?! 5 WTF Films from Fantasia’s International Film Festival

Fantasia International Film Festival is renowned for showcasing some of the best and weirdest of the film world.  As someone who started going their second year and started seriously going for multiple screenings per week in 1999, some of the weird films I’ve seen cannot be unseen.  So, just to bring some to attention and have a bit of fun, here are five of the most WTF films I’ve seen.

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Batman v Superman: Extended Cut or Why You Can’t Pour Perfume on a Pig

batmanvsuperman1Pearls. Again. Bruce Wayne’s origin. Again. Joe Chill. I’m presuming. Again. I can still hear the echoes of fan boys rejoicing that “Batman v Superman” wouldn’t be another origin story, and yet director Zack Snyder allows us the thirtieth origin of Bruce Wayne, all for the purpose of squeezing in Bruce muttering “Martha.” Which is his mother. And so a thousand memes were born.

Director Zack Snyder doesn’t allow us the benefit of young Superman or Clark Kent with his mother, also curiously named Martha, because that would make sense. Plus, Snyder never worked with Diane Lane or Kevin Costner. It would be funny though to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Lauren Cohan playing John and Martha Kent.

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