“Ninja III: The Domination” encapsulates everything you loved about the eighties. There are ninjas, Sho Kosugi, Aerobics instructors, Lucinda Dickey with puffed hair and an Aerobics uniform playing an arcade in her house, a synth pop soundtrack, and yes, a callback to “The Exorcist.” To reflect upon the fitness-centric decade, Dickey’s character even seduces a man by pouring V8 juice down her body. Teaming a revenge film with a possession film, “Ninja III” is every bit the silly genre mashing I remember from when I was a kid. While I have fond memories of Lucinda Dickey being called upon by her floating sword back then, “Ninja III” watches surprisingly well today. It’s silly as all hell, but in the end it’s a fun eighties trip that you can’t help but smile through from beginning to end. And who didn’t love Ninjas back then?
Tag Archives: Romance
Cloud Atlas (2012) (Blu-ray/DVD + UltraViolet Digital Copy Combo Pack)
Re-incarnation links us to one another, there is no free will, we’re bound to one another in an endless stream of dilemmas we’re fated to live out. We can change it if we so choose, but it is incredibly difficult to defy fate. It takes almost three hours to spell out those very messages to the audience, and what a three hours it is. “Cloud Atlas” has a lot of ambition, with a hefty helping of self-importance to add to its genres, but it does very little to convince us why we should care. About anything in this movie. There are multiple storylines, but I never found myself empathizing with anyone really.
What Dreams May Come (1998)
It’s pretty shocking that a film meant to be life affirming is probably so depressing it likely drove most of its original audience to suicide. I get that Vincent Ward’s movie about the after life is trying its hardest to assure audiences that no matter how sucky your life is, there are rewards in heaven, but come on. “What Dreams May Come” is by no means an inspirational fantasy film, so much as it is preachy religious hokum that turns the after life in to Middle Earth.
The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998)
If we had to have a sequel to “The Lion King” I much would have preferred to see the journey of Simba and his rise to king status than another telling of the first film. Truth be told, “Lion King II” is a retread of “The Fox and the Hound” with a further emphasis on Timone and Pumba. Rather than show more of Simba and his heroism, Disney follows suit and goes back to focus on a younger character while also handing half of the sequel over to Timone and Pumba, whose popularity begins to become the important factor in the “Lion King” series. In the end of “The Lion King” we see Simba and his wife have birthed a young cub. In the sequel we find out that–here’s the twist: Simba had a female cub! Named Kiara, Simba’s daughter is exactly like young Simba, except she is hesitant to take up the royal mantle, much like every princess in the Disney mythology.
Superman: Unbound (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy + UltraViolet) (2013)
I never really read the graphic novel upon which “Superman Unbound” is based on, but I thankfully know of it, and what the new Brainiac is supposed to look like in the mini-series. With the adaptation, there really isn’t a lot to “Superman Unbound.” Brainiac wants to go to Earth to collect a city, Superman and Supergirl have to stop him. Fighting ensues. As an adaptation, it’s an entertaining animated film with some great action sequences, but not too much substance. The focus of “Superman Unbound” is mainly on Superman trying to live the human life, now that he and Lois are a relationship. Lois wants Superman/Clark to become the boyfriend she needs, the supportive and loving man who can give her a life. But Clark is hesitant to press his luck. Especially when she’s always in peril.
The Vampire Lovers (1970) [Blu-ray]
The goddess Ingrid Pitt roams the European Countryside spreading lesbianism–er–vampirism to hapless farms and mansions as the dreaded Mircalla. Pitt is at her absolute sexiest in one of the most erotic Hammer films ever made. Pitt stars as the buxom and desirable Mircalla who masquerades as damsels and maidens thanks to her handler. Left at the manors of her hosts for weekends, she insinuates herself in to the family, and eventually seduces the innocent taut daughters of the owners of the house, engaging in affairs, eventually transforming them in to her own vampiric minions. Pitt absolutely glows on screen as the irresistible Mircalla who worms her way in to households across the countryside, and takes every chance to romance young daughters whose lives are filled with monotony and suppression.
Gangster Squad (2013) Combo Pack: Blu-Ray/DVD/Ultraviolet
Director Ruben Fleischer’s “Gangster Squad” is allegedly based on a true story, but I imagine the true story was filtered through the Hollywood drain at least five times. And then completely turned in to a comic book for audiences that appreciate goofy action movies over stern dramatic crime thrillers. “Gangster Squad” is a ridiculous and often times unwatchable take off on the gangster picture that is so above and beyond moronic that it makes 1991’s “Mobsters” look like “The Godfather” in comparison. A dunderheaded mixture of “Lethal Weapon” and “The Untouchables,” Ruben Fleischer bases his crime action film around the dumbest and most incompetent crime fighting squad in Los Angeles. This is a top secret squad assembled to bring down crime boss Mickey Cohen, and they keep their operations top secret by having barbecues in the backyard of their leader’s house. This is a group we’re supposed to take seriously, but actually identify themselves by “Gangster Squad” at one point. Can you imagine them going through a check list? “Mob Marauders”? No. The… “Crime Capers”? No. The “Gangster Squad”! Get that letter head printed!