I don’t know what to say about “Audition”. For a film that’s rapidly become a standard viewing for the horror genre, I’m just dumbfounded. Why hasn’t the mainstream noticed Takashe Miike yet? I mean fully noticed. This man is a genius. He’s not just some director giving us gore, gore for no damn reason (*cough*EliRoth*cough*) but a man who provides the gore as a way of expressing his story. “Audition” is one of those films. It’s a reflection of Miike’s sick mind, a man who twists his audience in so much directions, that you leave feeling violated and stunned. With “Audition” I was offended, I was shocked, and I was stunned.
Tag Archives: Romance
My Date with Drew (2004)
The creator of this odd film that wants to be considered a documentary (fat chance) is an idiot. Hey, I’m sure he’s a great guy, and I’m sure he’s a kind person, and a good friend, but I’ve known good people who are idiots, and director Herzlinger is an idiot. He’s poor, he doesn’t have a job, and he’s just recently won 1,100 dollars from a game show. Instead of turn that in to something of a worthy venture, or investment, he blows it. And he’s a struggling filmmaker. What a convenient turn of events. “My Date with Drew” is a movie that you’d probably see played on television back to back with “The Surreal Life” because every single aspect of it is staged, corny, and pathetic like a typical reality show that you’d see on network television.
Herbie Fully Loaded (2005)
After a montage of earlier “Herbie” films, we continue with the “extreme” semi-remake quasi-sequel to “Herbie The Love Bug” called “Herbie: Fully Loaded”. Do people still race with Buggies? Who cares, but you just know Lindsay Lohan must have owed something to Disney to have to do this film. It’s not like Lohan’s “career” has been all about quality films, mind you, but this film has “Contract fulfillment” written all over it. Granted, it’s not one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, not even one of the worst I’ve seen in a while, but it’s pretty damn lame, even for a kids film.
She Hate Me (2004)
My immense hatred for Spike Lee’s body of work not withstanding, “She Hate Me”, while making a statement of the sheer cruelty women are capable of for reach of their goals and manipulating men, is possibly one of Lee’s worst. Jack, the dumbest asshole ever depicted on film, is the true model of the intelligent man who isn’t smart enough to say no to a woman just because she flashes her cleavage and gives lustful stares to other women in front of him. Lee may not be the smartest man alive, but he is smart enough to show how wicked, manipulative, and objectifying women can be, and he shows how utterly unrealistic people can talk in his world. While posing for women to make money one girl proclaims, “Now you know what it feels like to be the sex object.”
Thanks, Lee, shove it down our throats why don’t you?
Alfie (2004)
I wasn’t a big fan of the original 1966 film starring the great Michael Caine. About a year prior to the release of the remake, I decided to give “Alfie” a watch, and really wasn’t impressed. For all whom aren’t familiar with the original, “Alfie” takes place in London, and not in New York, and it’s much darker and colder than the remake. Though, as always, movie fans will be divided with both versions, I just had to pick the remake. Granted, neither of them are masterpieces, nor are the rip-offs, but the modern “Alfie” is much more enjoyable in the long run.
The Cooler (2003)
Ultimately, I love the underdog story, I love to see the little guy accomplish and conquer their goals and beat the odds, and “The Cooler” is the ultimate under dog story. William H. Macy, an actor who I always enjoy watching plays Bernie Lootz an always down on his luck sad sack who works everyday as a “Cooler” in the Las Vegas casinos under Shelly Kaplow’s dollar. His bad luck is a surefire repellent for winning and though he hates the job, he does it because he’s good at it. That is until he meets Natalie, a waitress at the casino. The two begin to hit it off and quickly his luck begins improving, and money begins getting lost.
The Weather Man (2005)
Okay, loyal readers, here’s an unofficial list. Signs you know you’re watching a Nicolas Cage film:
1. There’s a surefire melancholy score of upbeat tempos, and downbeats.
2. There’s always a dim filter on the lens, usually with varying shades of gray or blue.
3. Cage is likely playing a glum, and or sad character; you can usually tell by looking at his frown plastered on his face throughout the film.
4. There’s narration, narration, narration, and plenty of it. Not useful narration either, but just to spell out every single action that can easily be dictated through competent editing and direction.
5. There’s usually a slow motion sequence here or there.
6. There’s always a character revelation.
7. His character usually has bad hair, only to accentuate his feeling of inferiority.