Bad Movie Monday: Dune (1984)

I’m going to teach everyone on the internet how to properly say Denis Villeneuve’s name because most of you in English speaking countries are butchering it so goddamn bad that I feel the need to personally step in and address this incredibly unimportant issue. Probably the worst attempt I’ve heard so far was someone on YouTube calling him Dunneees Villaynueve, which is this weird thing Americans do. If they can’t say a French word or name they’ll just pronounce it with a cartoonishly Spanish accent and hope for the best. Take it from me, someone who is French, you sound ridiculous doing that. Okay, ready for your lesson kids? Take notes. There may be a test. “Denis” is pronounced as if you’re almost saying “The Knee” only with more of a D sound at the beginning. Relatively simple. As for “Villeneuve”, repeat after me: “Ville”, like the word Evil without the E. Pretend you’re Donald Pleasance in Halloween. “Neu”, like the word Nerve without the R. And finally a hard V sound at the end.

The Knee Ville-Neu-V. NOW SAY IT RIGHT! Good job. Now, what the hell was I doing? Oh, yeah… I was going to review David Lynch’s DUNE.

Cue music by Toto.

Continue reading

The Reclaimers (2023)

I don’t know if “The Reclaimers” is a proof of concept short film or not, but if director Jason Sheedy is planning a bigger feature, count me in. “The Reclaimers” is a stellar horror scifi hybrid that watches like a mix of “I Am Legend” and “Bird Box.” It’s an interesting concept in a well worn concept that works very well thanks to the single performance by star Erin Ownbey. After her grandparents are killed by invisible creatures, a determined young woman seeks to avenge them with the help of her canine companion – the only one who can see the mysterious invaders.

Continue reading

Darkman (1990): Collector’s Edition [4K UHD/Blu-ray]

The one thing about Sam Raimi’s movies is that good or bad, very few of them age poorly. Even for a movie made in the early nineties at an age where every studio were seeking to duplicate the success of “Batman,” Raimi makes “Darkman” his own movie. It’s a superhero movie in the horror vein where our masked dark avenger is also a deformed an unhinged Frankenstein monster. Something in the vein of Brundlefly, Liam Neeson really does offer up a wildly unique and off the rails performance.

Continue reading

BAD MOVIE MONDAY: A BOY AND HIS DOG (1975)

It’s a bit of a misconception about me to say that I hate modern movies and have a particular loathing reserved towards the superhero genre. I do not. Well, not exactly anyway. What has happened is that I’ve grown extremely weary of films that are written in this very mundane “Screenwriting 101” style. Almost every movie made these days is about a hero’s journey or a redemption arc or some sort of variation on a theme outlined in SAVE THE CAT! Which is a book about screenwriting that Hollywood seems to treat like it’s the Holy Bible of Cinema.

This is why I really respect a movie like A BOY AND HIS DOG. If nothing else, it’s definitely not formulaic.

Continue reading

Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl (2022)

Streaming on Tubi TV, and Amazon Prime Video.

It’s become almost a tradition for some filmmaker to remake Nathan Juran’s 1958 schlock monster movie. Pretty much every four or five years a new variation of the formula pops up with a studio inserting some kind of entity. Now that CamGirl’s are still a thing and much more relevant, Jim Wynorski brings us the Attack of a 50 Foot CamGirl. It’s the bare minimum in the scope of attempted cult filmmaking; your mileage may vary depending on what you’re willing to endure when it comes to seeing busty blonde fifty feet women.

I’m looking at you, Macrophiliacs.

Continue reading