Hard Ride to Hell (2010)

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A slew of young Canadian actors (all of whom I recognize for the wrong reasons) star in a cheap throwback to the seventies satanic horror exploitation films that has the potential to be a very excellent horror flick but is instead cheap C grade hokum worthy of the dregs of the SyFy Channel here in America. In fact I can predict its initial run on DVD to end with an edited commercial interrupted premiere on said cable channel. “Hard Ride to Hell” is a movie with a great idea but an all too convoluted plot that begins with hapless young travelers on a road to nowhere who find themselves in a world of over-complicated and rather dull trouble involving Satan, bikers, satanic bikers, and a sprig of Robert Rodriguez just to tap the familiarity of horror fans.

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The Evil Dead (1981)

evildead1981Sam Raimi’s “The Evil Dead” is a lot like the demonic entities that are featured in the film itself. It’s larger than life, durable, and just can not be brought down no matter what you do. Every single decade has been exposed to the thrills of “The Evil Dead,” and to this day it stands as a horror grindhouse marvel that is so utterly simplistic, yet so damn thrilling. Even in the changing face of gore, special effects and marketing tactics, “The Evil Dead” has become a staple of the genre living on through Beta right in through the new millennium still being hailed as a bonafide classic to be witnessed by people looking for a classic monster movie.

Raimi’s entire career began on the notion that he could implement his talents as a magic aficionado and he achieves a rare feat of horror independent filmmaking in the tradition of George Romero building a lore for himself and also a flagship character. Enlisting the talent of a then unknown Bruce Campbell, Raimi is able to build a competent hero in a horror movie that possesses a final man instead of a final girl, and thanks to Campbell’s ability to over act he makes “The Evil Dead” an entertaining experience bringing us in at eye level as young Ash is forced to watch his girlfriend and two best friends become meat puppets for demonic forces they unleash after listening to a recorded demonic chant in their cabin in the woods.

In spite of the obvious low tech production qualities, Raimi is able to devise a very thematic and moody little nightmarish horror film with some of the best moments in horror history including the infamous tracking shot chasing Ash throughout his cabin as he mugs for the camera and runs for his life, and the (still) disturbing tree rape that continues to stir up some controversy in this day and age. In spite of possessing some rather prehistoric closing sequences, “The Evil Dead” is a creepy little ditty that garners big points for still being genuinely creepy and a royal mind fuck, especially when the screws begin to turn once the demonic forces have been unleashed among these hapless travelers.

The surrounding area of the cabin tend to come to life and become its own character once the demons have been released from their confines and Raimi brings forth the claustrophobic tension and unease we’d see later in John Carpenter’s The Thing, as this unseen force slowly corrupts the likes of every character and we soon watch in wait wondering who among these four people will reveal themselves to be a twisted creation of this pure force of evil and what punishment they’ll inflict on one another when they do show their true colors. And once they do it makes for wicked imagery turning a game of cards in to a fight for life and death, and Raimi even transforms a tragic burial in to a sick game of peekaboo that is adorable when we meet Ash and his girlfriend but is just utterly horrifying when we know she’s been consumed by the darkness and is now just toying with him.

While some of the effects are ancient, the movie still has an indefinable charm to it that guarantees a damn good time even for the most cynical horror geek who creams at the sight of CGI. While the joints are creaky here and there, “The Evil Dead” is in the league of “Night of the Living Dead” and “Jaws” where it continues to be immortal and outlive other horror classics in the face of changing movie going sentiment and horror cynicism. It’s a moody little nightmare worth the watch.

Frankenstein Unlimited (2009)

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The folks at Sinema Saliba manage to concoct an interesting indie experimental anthology film around the theme of Frankenstein and rebirth with a series of short films that dabble in narratives revolving around mortality and death all of whom vary in tones of artistic to the utterly absurd. Director Matthew Saliba pulls out all the stops for this anthology picture that deconstructs the tale of Frankenstein and sets the framework down in assorted set pieces and flavors that help this movie feel like a varied buffet of vignettes that will manage to perfectly entice the viewer’s imagination and rethink the concept of the mad doctor and the monster.

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Demoni (Demons) (1985)

If you look at “Demoni” from a critical point of view, then you’re not going to enjoy it too much. Who is the messenger of this whole event? Why does the main character envision him before the whole horror goes down? Why is he handing out invitations? What makes these people so special who have the invitations? Why did he pick these people? What was his goal? Who built this movie theater everyone attends? Who funded it? Was it Satan? Why choose a movie theater to take over the world? Why is this demonic movie that plays in the theater cursed? Why is the prop mask that belongs to the movie capable of turning someone in to a demon? Why, if you want to take over the world, do you hide the prop behind a glass? Is there security in this theater?

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Kick-Ass (2010)

One of the saving graces of “Kick Ass” is the casting of Chloe Moretz, a young girl who manages to completely and utterly steal the show from every single cast member here including Clark Duke, and she’s managed to spawn an unlikely legion of admirers who came to the movie to see a little girl mutilate everyone in her path. While “Kick Ass” never quite manages to muster up the sympathetic story it did in the comics, Matthew Vaughn completely wins over the crowd with Hit Girl aka Mindy, the most interesting character in the bunch who is given the most interesting conflict in the film as this character whose own life manages to play out like a typical hero origin. Little girl loses her mom after her dad is framed for a crime, she’s trained by him to become a killer, the dad dies and she avenges him in cruel and unusual ways. I assumed the girl would hit the big time after seeing her steal scenes from Joseph Gordon Levitt in “(500) Days of Summer” but here Matthew Vaughn shows that he takes the character very seriously and never dodges her sheer brutality in the face of schmoes who happen to come across her blade.

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Tombstone (1993)

Tombstone-1I remember many years ago before Gene Siskel died where he and his co-host Roger Ebert were mulling the success of “Tombstone” and explained that originally “Tombstone” was not screened for critics. Usually when a movie is not screened early for critics it means the studios have no faith in their film. So what they did was not screen “Tombstone” while they screened “Wyatt Earp” pegging the latter for big success while the former they expected to come and go. The two films arrived in theaters in practically the same time. “Tombstone” became an instant Western classic while “Wyatt Earp” remained a not as widely accepted Western drama in spite of still being generally respected by movie critics around the world starring Oscar bait Kevin Costner. Let’s be honest here though, the reason why “Tombstone” is such a widely revered Western classic is because it’s a pretty stylized and embellished Western actioner.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

VPz6MaKAt this time horror fans are so beaten down to a messy shit stain that they really don’t have the strength to complain about remakes of their beloved horror classics anymore. Because whether we like it or not, Platinum Dunes and other horrific money grubbing companies will rehash our favorite titles and nothing is off limits. That preface aside, Neo-Nightmare sets down on basically the same premise except with ten times less the flavor and creativity of Wes Craven’s admittedly dated original. I never liked Platinum Dunes to begin with but “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ends as such a blatant spit in the face of horror fans everywhere it practically begins with a disclaimer reading, “We don’t give a shit about quality, but hey at least we have your money, suckers!” And they fell for it hook line and sinker.

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