Yearly Archives: 2023

Welcome to My Nightmare: “Freddy vs. Jason” 20 Years Later

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One of the most interesting experiences of my life in a movie theater happened during “Freddy vs. Jason.” It was interesting in that it showed how strong my colon could be.

Stick with me.

I, like every other horror geek in America, during the beginning of the internet, were anxiously following every update of “Freddy vs. Jason” and its glacial development. The movie had been in development for over a few decades, and the anticipation only became even more feverish with the cameo of Freddy Krueger in the end of “Jason Goes to Hell.” For what I’m assuming was meant to be a little elbow nudge to the fans, transformed in to an even more heated demand for Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees to meet on the big screen.

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Satan’s Little Helper (2004)

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For reasons I could never quite put my finger on, “Satan’s Little Helper” has always evaded me. Since its release in 2004, I’ve never been able to find time to sit down and watch it, but since its initial release, it’s manage to garner a pretty respectable cult following. “Satan’s Little Helper” is certainly one of the most batshit insane Halloween horror movies I’ve ever seen, which is something that works for and against Jeff Lieberman’s horror comedy. It’s weird, and darkly comic, and over the top, and injects uncomfortable overtones of incest, and pedophilia, to boot. There were genuine moments that made me squirm, and it works to the detriment of the movie itself.

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The Barn Part II (2022)

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If Justin M. Seaman’s “The Barn” was “Ghoulies,” then “The Barn Part II” is the “Ghoulies II” of his horror movie series. His Halloween centric horror movie series has managed to deliver in surprises and good old fashioned vintage scares and I’ve enjoyed a lot of the mythos that Seaman and co. have created. “The Bart Part II” is superior to the first film in every way, as while the original is a very good small scale Halloween movie, this follow up doubles up on every aspect. There’s double the gore, double the body count, double the T&A and even larger scale monsters.

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The Barn (2016)

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Justin Seaman’s indie horror film has managed to become something of a small cult classic since its release in 2016, and it’s good to see. Despite being rough around the edges, “The Barn” is a very good horror movie that celebrates Halloween and slasher films at every given chance. The movie from Seaman works hard to build a lore within its movie, not solely intending on a stand alone installment, apparently. “The Barn” is through and through a Halloween movie that has a great time reveling in the sense of danger it encourages and embraces.

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Marineland Carnival: The Munsters Visit Marineland (1965)

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Oh lord, I had no idea this even existed. Back in 1965, the Munsters characters were commissioned to do a TV special where they crash a performance at Marineland. Despite some cut aways to the Munsters, there is no plot, no side adventures, and the Munsters are genuinely just glorified mascots for this attraction. And boy it is awful. The mercifully hour long special was lost for a long time before being restored and revived for fans, and it’s probably a good thing. Despite a fairly spotless record of Television Specials, “Marineland” is a terrible utilization of these characters.

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“Fun Size”: The Halloween Treat That Deserves More Love

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Along with “Crybaby Lane,” 2012’s “Fun Size” is one of the bastard children of Nickelodeon Studios that they like to pretend doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be the first time they hung one of their stars out to dry, and it certainly won’t be the last. Say what you want about the legacy of Nickelodeon, but their nastiness is almost equal to their innovation and creativity. Nevertheless, “Fun Size” is one of the very few Halloween themed movies that have nothing to do with the horror genre.

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Aladdin: The Return of Jafar (1994)

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1994’s “Aladdin: The Return of Jafar” (or “Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar,” or simply “The Return of Jafar” as it’s known in some circles), was originally intended to be the trio of episodes for the television spin off of the hit 1992 Disney film “Aladdin.” Not wanting to miss out on milking their hit further, Disney cobbled together a movie that acted both as a sequel and an entry point in to the “Aladdin” syndicated animated series. This meant that much of the resolution of the original movie was rendered pretty much null. Factor in that Robin Williams refused to reprise the role of Genie once again after a fall out with Disney, and you have what is—well, just an okay movie.

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