Unofficially based on The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers and Mr. Natural underground comics, “Up in Flames” is an adult film stinker that looks like someone took a bunch of stoners and tried to create their own X Rated comedy for the local grindhouses. At only an hour in length, we meet a trio of slacker stoners that are given one more day to come up with rent for their apartment, or else they’re going to be kicked out.
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
Supergirl: The Complete First Season [Blu-Ray/Digital]
The series “Supergirl” is in a tricky dilemma from episode one. It’s been created by a network like CBS in America that doesn’t quite understand it. CBS has never really embraced the superhero boom of the aughts, and “Supergirl” pretty much was walking on egg shells from episode one. It’s a good bit of fortune it’s been ported over to the CW where it can live and breathe among other superhero fare like “The Flash” and “Arrow.” After swearing off Supergirl for many years, I decided to be a good little super fan boy and check out “Supergirl” and I’m glad that I did. It’s a pretty remarkable and loyal adaptation of the DC Comics character that is so much more Superman than Superman has been in the last sixteen years.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Viola Davis plays a big muckety-muck named Amanda Waller who works for the government. Much like Bruce Wayne, she saw a lot of the carnage inflicted by Superman and Zod in “Man of Steel,” and now that he’s dead, she wants to ensure there’s never another Superman coming to Earth to cause chaos. So naturally, she goes to Belle Reeve prison to assemble a team of super villains, all of whom have already had their asses handed to them by Batman and The Flash. Her reasoning is that the best way to defeat another potential alien menace is by enlisting a group of super villains on a suicide mission including a man crocodile, boomerang throwing maniac, and a Joker fan girl with an obsession with bats and mallets.
There Is a New World Somewhere (2016)
Li Lu’s drama “There Is a New World Somewhere” is another one of those dramas about thirty somethings looking for directions in life. It’s in the tradition of movies like “Garden State” and Greta Gerwig movies, while director Lu really tries to invent her own “Five Easy Pieces.” The problem is “There Is a New World Somewhere” doesn’t present enough of a dilemma for our protagonist Sylvia to begin hitting the open road and looking for some sort of purpose. We settle in with her for all of fifteen minutes before we’re told how restless she is, and then takes off with character Esteban who she meets at a party one night.
Agnes Brucker is a very strong actress with a unique energy and charisma that has never really been wisely utilized by other directors, and it’s a shame. She’s very good in “There Is a New World Somewhere” and literally carries what is only a mediocre road trip film about two people trying to find themselves. I think. Or maybe they’re trying to find the meaning of life. Or a purpose? I never did catch on. Either way, Bruckner is the highlight as Sylvia a struggling artist anxious to launch an opening at the gallery she works in to showcase her art. When she’s turned down, she begins questioning her life and is called to party with some long lost friends, many of whom are on the verge of being married.
After forming a connection with party goer Esteban, Sylvia skips town with him and begins traveling around the country. Along the way, the pair have a passionate affair and wander around from landmark to landmark discussing the meaning of life, their passion for certain parts of life, and how unfulfilled they feel. Li Lu has a wonderful directorial style providing some great wide shots and beautiful dream like moments and montages where Sylvia and Esteban linger in various spots and different cities trying to savor life. I just wish “There Is a New World Somewhere” had a much more solid narrative and a lot more character depth.
When Sylvia skips town on her friends to take a trip with a stranger, it feels like half baked motivation to set the plot in motion. When the pair of character do manage to get in to various escapades, it’s never all that interesting. That said, Lu’s direction is vibrant, while star Bruckner is a very good actress who shines in an otherwise middling drama.
Now on VOD, IVOD, and is in Limited Theatrical Release until August 31st.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray]
Philip Kaufman’s 1978 remake and adaptation of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” remains one of the most resounding arguments for the purpose of remaking films. Often times like the case of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” directors can rework certain ideas and add something to the mythology, allowing for a starker and very bleak vision that helps a film stand on its own. John Carpenter achieved that with “The Thing,” and Philip Kaufman succeeds in adding his own layer of dread and futility with “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” A lot of horror movies are filled with some tinge of hope that perhaps humanity or our heroes will prevail over the unusual menace threatening to consume a portion of Earth.
The Best Thing I’ve Seen in 2016
Netflix’s “Stranger Things” is the best thing I’ve seen all year. TV show, Movie, Web show, et al. The Duffer Brothers “Stranger Things” season one is eight episodes long at fifty five minutes each and it’s the easiest eight hours I’ve ever spent watching a series. There’s no filler, no flab, no pointless segues in to a sub-plot that wanders aimlessly. Every element of every episode is crucial and important and The Duffer Brothers have no time to fuck around.
You Have to See This! Bikini Academy (1996)
Odds are you probably saw “Bikini Academy” in the heyday of late night cable television. It was once a proud institution. Otherwise known as “Babe Watch: Forbidden Parody,” the adult comedy likens itself as a “Baywatch” spoof. In reality there isn’t anything that spoofs or satirizes “Baywatch” save for the fact that most of the movie is set in the beach. In fact almost every shot is filmed during the middle of a sunny day smack dab in the middle of a beach. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.
Lucki and her friend Ty-Dy work day to day in a bikini shop and aspire to compete for a job as their local beach’s lifeguards. Training with an uptight drill instructor and hunky trained lifeguard Brock, the two pursue the opportunity in hopes that it can open up their aspirations for modeling and acting. Meanwhile rival Bodacia seeks the job in hopes of improving her modeling career, and will do whatever she can to win, including rigging the contest. That doesn’t sit well with Lucki who has a genuine affection for him, despite his indifference toward her.
And there are boobs. Lots of boobs.
I can think of worse things than watching Kelli Hoffman or Tane McClure for ninety minutes. With small budgets and some pretty crummy actors, Rick Sloane has been able to pull of a pretty great film career with some entertaining schlock. Everything from the silly “Vice Academy” series to the craptastic “Hobgoblins” has managed to achieve some bit of cult fame down the road; especially the latter. Seriously, go watch the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” episode of “Hobgoblins.” It’s one of the funniest two hours of television ever made. That said, “Bikini Academy” is not a spoof or satire, it’s just a really silly C grade sex comedy set on a beach.
I think Rick Sloane probably assumed this kind of beach sex romp would fare well in 1996, which is too bad since movies of this ilk became painfully out of style by 1990. I think in 1986, this might have been just a slight cult classic, rather than simply a cheap sex comedy that you wouldn’t miss, either way. Mind you, “Bikini Academy” is a rare movie from Rick Sloane that is softcore schlock and embraces that fact, but it’s not an experience you have to have. There’s no real up and comer like Johnny Depp in “Private Resort.” It’s just a very raunchy comedy that pulls off some occasional giggles and splashes almost every scene with curvy women in small bikinis.
It doesn’t really try to be anything else but a cheapy schlock, putting gorgeous women in the film front and center, while they compete with one another for a position as a local lifeguard. Sloane’s movie is so thin in concept that he apparently runs out of story after the first forty five minutes and begins staging softcore sex scenes set to library music. You know the kind of scenes I talk about if you ever watched Cinemax After Dark. Yes, it was probably good fodder for late night cable syndication, but it becomes obvious writer-director Sloane is padding the run time as much as he can to fit a ninety minute running time.
“Bikini Academy” revels in its low budget to deliver some of the goofiest comedy and action ever put to film. The characters have to go through a series of “Revenge of the Nerds” like trials and performances that will make them eligible for a big position as a lifeguard and a highly coveted job that will grant them some opportunities. This is especially fortunate for villainous Bodacia, who is hell bent on winning the contest to improve her modeling career. She takes every measure to win, including bedding a judge or two. Along the way the potential lifeguards also have to help the occasional swimmer, including one woman who very nearly gets dragged in to the water by what is obviously a rubber giant squid.
And in case you doubt director Sloane, you can make out the fake wobbling squid under the water as our stunt actress tries to desperately break free from its tentacles. It’s such an inexplicable scene tacked on for absolutely no rationale that you’ll giggle for a bit and then scratch your head baffled. The laughs don’t stop there. As villain Bodacia looks for a cause to bring to the competition to compete for the job of lifeguard, she conveniently finds a single marlin on the beach covered in oil, and decides to use it as an issue to fight for. Forget how nothing else on the beach is covered in oil, but the fish is so obviously a prop that it’s stiff as a board.
Who knew fish get rigor mortis? Or maybe Tane McClure is just that hot. Rick Sloane must know what everyone watching this movie does, because Kelli Hoffman is not only the hottest woman in the movie, but she manages to steal every single scene she’s shares with the cast. Despite only having a small supporting role, and popping up every now and then, every time she does, it’s a treat for the eyes. The real attraction though is Steven Todd Lange as love interest Brock. His performance here is so stilted and rigged, it feels like director Sloane pulled him out of his office during lunch to read some lines and pretend to be invested in his role.
Rick Sloane relies on a steady formula of repeating the same beats again and again: there’s some kind of cat fight between Tane McClure and heroine Raelynn Saalman, someone makes a few sex jokes and double entendres, there’s a few peeks of women in tight bikinis and Kelli Hoffman looks for any excuse to stroll by on screen. In the end, it all feels like Rick Sloane was still stuck in the mid-eighties, and what comes up is a fairly solid diversion that drips gratuitous schlock at every turn. There’s big breasts, big squids, and a running gag centered on corn, for some reason. It’s a classic Rick Sloane oddity.