Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Nurse 3D (2013)

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If there’s anything really good I can say about “Nurse 3D” is that you certainly won’t be bored. Will you be entertained? Well, that’s debatable, but bored? Likely not. I certainly wasn’t bored through “Nurse 3D.” Granted, it’s one of those so bad it’s good exploitation horror movies, but it’s definitely a good time, and kept me watching from minute one. It also has its fair share of gorgeous women including Paz De La Huerta, and Katrina Bowden. Broken down objectively, director Douglas Aarniokoski’s “Nurse 3D” is simply just another obsession horror film, but takes the formula and completely drops it on its head. Director Douglas Aarniokoski films the story in a pulpy glossy lens, that makes the film feel like a neo-noir horror comedy very detracted from reality.

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Shandar – The Shrunken City (1998)

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You have to love how our kiddy duo complain that the bottled city of Kandor–er–Shandar isn’t protected when it’s been seated by hieroglyphs deep in a cave underground. And in Pennsylvania! No one would ever expect a bottled city to be hidden in Pennsylvania. Directed by Ted Nicolaou who brought us many of Full Moon’s more entertaining genre outings, “The Shrunken City” (or as it’s known now: “Shandar–The Shrunken City”) is a entertaining enough for kids, but incredibly convoluted. I was never quite sure what the hell was going on, all I knew was that two kids found the miniature city of Kandor–er–Shandar.

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Bazookas: The Movie (2009)

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If you loved films like “Porky’s,” or “Hot Resort,” then Michael G Leonard’s indie exploitation comedy is right up your alley. It’s as if someone took a script from 1983 and fitted it for modern times, without trimming any of what made eighties films so much damn fun. The gratuitous nudity, shameless innuendo, busty babes running around and frolicking, and the plot of the underdogs battling an evil corporation for control of a community, it all here and then some. You know where the director’s head is when the prologue of the film begins on a racquet ball match between a gym owner’s son and a gorgeous woman and ends on her topless and smashing her chest in to a glass window.

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Rudyard Kipling’s Mark of the Beast (2012)

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It’s a testament to the talents of directors Jon Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour that they can transplant a Rudyard Kipling horror tale in to contemporary America, and still derive a creep or two. Though “Mark of the Beast” seems like another cabin in the woods horror tale on the surface, deep down it strives to break any conventions, and brings about a unique disgusting monster among a small group of friends.

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Gravity (2013)

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Many audiences have compared Alfonso Cuaron’s “Gravity” to the indie horror film “Open Water.” And in many ways that comparison is perfectly apt. Much in the way the aforementioned film sought out to provide audiences with a feeling of aimlessness, sea sickness, and a futile fight for survival, “Gravity” strips away any feeling of equilibrium or safety from the very second it begins. The safety being, of course, gravity. The characters within the scope of the film are engaging in a space walk and have nothing but a tether to keep them tied to their ship. When that option is gone, there’s nothing we can do but submit to the void of space and let fate take hold.

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Nebraska (2013)

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In “Nebraska,” Woody Grant is convinced that he’s won a million dollars. So convinced is he that he’s won, that soon everyone begins to believe it. What were once old friends, are now people intent on collecting a debt from him, while old relatives come knocking at his door asking for a hand out. Woody Grant is known as the town degenerate, a man who lived life as a loser and will die a loser, only when he perceives himself as a winner, do people begin to believe he is, and try to exploit that.

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Horror Anthology Movie Volume 1 (2013)

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What with the welcome renaissance of the anthology horror film, indie filmmakers are pooling their resources to deliver films that can showcase everyone’s talents while entertaining an audience. “Horror Anthology Movie Volume 1″ is by no means a masterpiece, but it’s a very solid horror film with directing and storytelling that’s above par in comparison to many other anthologies I’ve seen in the past. Composed of six short films sewn together as one movie, “Horror Anthology Movie Volume 1” attempts to side step common horror tropes in favor of something new and unique.

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