Back in the nineties, I spent many a day trying to build up my own movie collection, and for poor folk, that’s tough. Imagine my surprise when after receiving my allowance I retreated to the local dollar store and saw some VHS movies for me to purchase with my own money. Granted, they weren’t blockbuster films, but they were public domain cartoons, and some pretty interesting gems that only bargain hunters discovered.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Dredd (2012)
What’s sad about director Peter Travis and writer Alex Garland’s “Dredd” is that it’s the comic book movie of the character Judge Dredd, that fans probably deserve. And they may not get a sequel at all, since its release in 2012 did little to stir the franchise potential of it all. The ingredients are all here for “Dredd” to kick off a wonderful series. There are a people behind the movie who take the material seriously, there’s zero camp, star Karl Urban plays Judge Dredd as an anti-hero and not like a clown, there’s no comic relief, and Judge Dredd never once takes his helmet off during the movie. To compensate for his lack of face time, Urban scowls and emotes more zealously than his prior roles for Dredd, and it pays off without an inch of over the top dialogue delivery to be found.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Ultraviolet]
Fish, and dogs, and bears, oh my. It’s ninety minutes of bumps, and shadows all leading in to basically nothing but a movie that doesn’t even deliver the money shots as far as “The Hills Have Eyes” wannabes go. Maybe they’re saving it for a sequel somewhere down the line? If you’re looking for some vicious mutants attacking silly Americans on a tour, “Chernobyl Diaries” never seems to be sure how to handle its premise. It never seems to try to gratuitous, so it skimps out on literally everything that could have made this a disturbing film, altogether. There’s little to no bloodshed to be had, most of the action is either implied or off-screen in to the darkness, and as far as monsters go? If you want to see some annoying wild dogs chase after our heroes for thirty minutes, then this might be up your alley. The confusing aspect of “Chernobyl Diaries” is that it’s been lumped in with all of the other recent found footage titles, but in reality it isn’t.
The House at the End of the Street (2012)
Elissa is the new girl in town. Elissa just met Ryan, a good looking neighbor of hers, who she really wants to sleep with. Elissa doesn’t realize that Ryan may or may not have a dangerous past behind him. You know, he has no parents, and every time she enters his house, he screams for her to run for her life and never come back, but you know, Elissa wants him to come over for dinner. Elissa’s mother Sarah is uncomfortable about Ryan and tries to warn her about him, but where does she get off? What is she, her mom or something?
The Babymakers (2012) [Blu-Ray]
If anything, what makes “The Babymakers” such a tolerable bad movie is that Olivia Munn is gorgeous. Granted, she’s yet another “I’m hot but I’m edgy and funny, too!” actress in Hollywood, but in “The Babymakers” she mostly plays it straight. Munn is a beautiful and often sexy woman who glows in this film, and she serves her purpose as the woman character Tommy Mackland is desperate to please. Hey, if I were married to character Audrey, I’d be dipping my testicles on a pot of stew, too. Munn is mainly a straight man for the comedy, who spends most of the movie longing for a baby of her own, and tries to remain faithful to Tommy, who is a well meaning and mild mannered man with a lot to offer. Sure, he’s another comedy loser, but he has a good job, and a lot of courage when it comes to standing his ground. He’s a man you can respect, and somewhat pity. Because I guess pity is funny and respect is not.
Cheeky! (Trasgredire) (2000) [Blu-Ray]
Dear lord is Yuliya Mayarchuk a goddess. A being of sexual ferocity, she’s emanates sensual daring, and innocence that make her the perfect woman to head up this rather entertaining sex dramedy. Every director seems to have a fixation on some part of a woman’s body, particularly directors of erotica. Director Tinto Brass places great emphases on the woman’s behind, often preferring to show the woman’s cleverly framed rump beyond all else.
Naughty Teen (Cara Dolce Nipote) (1977) (DVD)
It’s clear that when One 7 Movies boasts that “Naughty Teen” is a rare sex comedy that many haven’t seen, they mean business. The cover for the film makes “Naughty Teen” look much more gritty than it actually is, and the women on the cover definitely isn’t star Ursula Heinle. Beyond that, the film is generally flawed with some skips in the footage, and both corners of the picture blurred, obviously to distort a television logo or crawler of some kind. Thankfully it’s not a distracting aspect of the picture, and is mostly insignificant if you focus on the film.