I was very disappointed to see the back of the DVD case for “Sex Hunter” compare this short Roman Porno to “Thriller: A Cruel Picture.” It’s very misleading to pair one of the greatest grindhouse revenge thrillers ever made to “Sex Hunter.” It’s an hour long endurance test in tedium and finishes with a climax that is both abrupt and incredibly unsatisfying. Granted, there’s not much to expect in the way of characters and action from a movie barely clocking in at seventy minutes, but a little blood shed wouldn’t have hurt.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Arena (1989)
Charles Band’s “Arena” is a blast. And for a movie with such a small budget that is dated beyond belief, that’s quite an endorsement. There’s something about the imagination and creativity behind “Arena” that makes it such a treat to sit through. It’s such a simple and straight forward science fiction action film that it doesn’t even try for anything complicated or adult. If there’s ever a film that could use the remake treatment and become a fantastic action genre picture it’s this 1989 film from director Charles Band that sets down on an intergalactic wasteland where aliens do battle in a ring for sport and money amidst crowds of onlookers and fanatics.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Such a simple premise should have delivered a bland and somewhat forgettable animated film, but what Dreamworks manages to pull together is not only impressive, but surely one of the best films of 2012. “Rise of the Guardians” is a testament to the magic of folklore and the strength of belief. Though it’s not an outright declaration of theism, “Rise of the Guardians” places a lot of power on the strength of belief on sentient beings and what they can do for those that place importance in them. “Rise of the Guardians” is a film that all audiences will truly enjoy that manages to unite some of the most iconic magical beings to form the ultimate super team.
Silent Night (2012)
“Don’t put avocado on the burger!”
You just can’t take a movie like “Silent Night” all that seriously. It’s twisted, demented, and weird, and features a small town with a perverted priest, and a slew of gorgeous women sauntering about like it’s just another day. Jaime King is the sheriff, Ellen Wong is her secretary, single moms are attractive, and the slashing Santa spends most of his time murdering good looking women in the most sadistic ways imaginable. It’s a splatter film and an exploitation film first and foremost, so if you’re expecting high art with complex themes about Christmas, you should look elsewhere. Director Steven C. Miller knows exactly what kind of film he’s directing, and he never holds back from delivering the gore and the torture in all of the most convenient forms possible.
March of the Wooden Soldiers/Babes in Toyland (1934)
Here in New York City, there’s been a tradition for almost thirty years that the local television station channel 11 also known as WPIX airs a yearly broadcast of Laurel and Hardy’s “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” Though it’s mostly known as “Babes in Toyland,” ever since I was a young child, I’ve identified it by “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” For some odd reason it’s just been a tradition to view it every year on Thanksgiving, and it just seems to pair up with the holiday season so well. There are appearances from every fairy tale character imaginable from the three little pigs, to the three blind mice, along with an appearance from Mickey Mouse, The incomparable duo of Dum and Dee even work at Santa’s shop creating toys for him for the Christmas rush.
Uncle Buck (1989)
Even during his days on Second City, John Candy was one of the most restrained and brilliant comedy personalities of his time, a man who had genuine wit and charisma, and garnered laughs by his quick timing alone. Before Chris Farley presented the assumption that in order for a large man to be funny he had to take falls and be the butt of violent physical gags, John Candy had a class to his humor that showed the heavy guy didn’t have to always be the subject of vicious antics and mean spirited humor. Sure, in “Uncle Buck,” Candy does take his hits and falls, but the entire movie is based more around his charm, razor sharp wit, and ability to improvise at the drop of a hat. Not that Chris Farley wasn’t a laugh riot, but heavy men could do more than provide laughs for the more attractive people in the movies.
Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)
One of the primary faults behind “Paranormal Activity 4” is that it makes promises it just can’t keep. It swears new scares with the use of the kinect and light beams and doesn’t quite fulfill the potential for the plot device. It introduces a new protagonist, but never fully develops her. And most importantly it explains that it has all led up to this, but there really isn’t a huge development in the storyline. I’m still not sure why what happened happens at all, and what they’re leading in to, but according to Dreamworks, we have two more films left in this series, and more films with a Latin spin off that will likely continue the mythos well in to 2019. If possible.