The devil is fiction’s greatest anti-heroes. A being of pure brute calculated force, the devil has many names, and many appearances and is without a doubt the most interesting figure in all of history, an individual whose sole purpose is personal gain and pure unbridled joy in making humanity suffer. But in all of its incarnations, the devil is also someone who has something of a moral code, and a guideline, and always has something to say about the disgusting bile of the human sole. The devil is the very reflection of ourselves, and the character always has something to teach us. Even before destroying us from the inside out barely flinching at our cries for help and mercy.
Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2010…
With Cinema Crazed gaining more and more access in to the newest films every year, we were able to catch so many movies for 2010 and even with our incessant scramble to watch every possible title out there, we still didn’t have enough time to see it all. With our commitment to reviewing indies and cult cinema first and foremost, we don’t really have the material for these lists until November or December, and then it becomes a mad panic to watch as much as possible to compile this annual list.
Nevertheless, we saw more films in 2010 than in previous years, and many movies earned our spots. Others just didn’t. Many other titles just escaped our memory. So yes, these are lists of the best and worst movies that we’ve seen. Odds are there will be a movie from 2010 in mid-2011 we think should have been apart of the list, regretfully. As with every year we have some new categories, and we hope we inspire such rage in you that you’re able to find it in your heart to leave a vicious anonymous passive aggressive comment on Rotten Tomatoes for one of our reviews. That’s all we ask. Or be ballsy and email us. Come on, we dare you. Or if you’re feeling conversational, send us your own Top 10 and Worst 10 of 2010! We can likely begin a conversation that’s human and polite.
Pardon me while I have a strange interlude: “The King’s Speech” isn’t on any of these lists. The studio didn’t send screeners, it’s only playing in two theaters in New York, and we don’t have the time or effort to seek it out and risk being bored senseless. So forgive us for that. We’re sure it’s a fine movie about a stuttering king, honest. But… we didn’t have the time to find out.
On to the show!
Dolla Morte (2006)
I’m sure at some point either “director” Bill Zebub or one of his friends were sitting down to watch “Robot Chicken” or “Team America: World Police” for the fiftieth time in a month quoting “Matt Damon!” over and over, and someone suggested “director” Bill Zebub create his own doll movie! Yay! After the rancid putrid junk that was “Breaking her Will” and the rancider putrid junk that was “Dirt Bags” I really was not expecting much from “director” Bill Zebub. “Dolla Morte” really wouldn’t be such a bad film if Bill Zebub had any idea was pacing is. There are overlong scenes of dolls engaging in dialogue, and rape scenes, and there’s even a five minute warning to the audience about Zebub’s intention toward the film. Why are they so determined to let us know his intentions for this piece of garbage? What does it matter? Shouldn’t he let the trash speak for itself?
Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (2010)
I mean it when I say that “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody” is without a doubt one of the best pornos I’ve ever seen. And it’s also the best porn parody to date. The Adam West Batman show was always a series mired in strong overtones of sexuality. Even when appealing to children primarily, the show had a strong sexual element due to its creation which set it down in the free spirit, free loving decade of the sixties where sexual experimentation ran rampant, and the go go era bred a new awakening, experimentation and dabbling in areas of our sexuality we once deemed taboo. There was very little separation from “Batman” with “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” aside from the rampant drug use and boozing. Tonally, they were so incredibly similar with kinetic energy and dizzying color schemes.
The Nunsploitation Convent Collection (DVD)
Available in on 2500 Limited Edition Copies, Cult Epics has released the ultimate in nunsploitation double features pairing two of the most iconic nunsploitation films of all time “School of the Holy Beast” and “Behind Convent Calls” together, and attaching a new restoration along with fantastic features for all collectors. “School of the Holy Beast” is the definition of the nunsploitation sub-genre. It’s a wonky, surreal, and demented piece of Asian drama with some of the most memorable moments I’ve ever seen in the Grindhouse motif. Most importantly it has an odd sense of humor that make it worthy of many laughs, but ones that will assuredly be of the uncomfortable sort.
Nun of That (2009)
I really should not have loved this as much as I did. In all honesty, I sat through “Nun of That” thinking I should rightfully despise every minute of this, but… I didn’t. In the end, “Nun of That” is a hilarious, action packed ode to nunsploitation and the grindhouse motif that fuels an otherwise ridiculous, over the top action bonanza. There’s a nun in a club stripping before she eliminates a full house of Italian stereotypes, a martial arts Jew assassin who chucks deadly Stars of David and a razor edged yarmulke, there’s Ghandi teaching Sister Wrath how to fight with demon ninjas, and there’s Jesus Christ who engages in a musical number that is shockingly memorable and catchy. All of which is played with deadpan insistence from its sharp cast who seem to truly enjoy being in this movie.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)
Director Joseph Guzman’s ode to the grindhouse devices of the seventies is an admirable and often times entertaining take on nunsploitation while also delving in the realms of sexploitation, and revenge fare. Ever since “Grindhouse” indie directors have constantly attempts to mimic the same gloss and nods Tarantino and Rodriguez strived for and–as I’ve seen–many indie directors have pulled it off. Some of them, like Guzman, do it even better than the alleged master filmmakers ever did. Because unlike the former pair, the indie directors have little to work with, and must rely on creativity where budget fails. “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” is not so much a nunsploitation film as it is a Southern fried take on Bo Arne Vibenius’ classic “Thriller a Cruel Picture.”