Sure, by today’s standards, and with my current age, R.L. Stine isn’t so scary anymore. But in case many of you don’t know the name, R.L. Stine is very recognizable to the folks like me who grew up around the time Stine resided in book shelves all over the country. For horror geeks like me, Stine was a gateway drug, he was that first introduction into the horror genre before you came into the hard stuff, and I loved it all. For the teens that could get away with it, he brought us “Fear Street,” a creepier, mature, and violent series of books that had actual stories to them.
Jopog Manura, (My Wife is a Gangster) (2001)
Jin-Gyu Cho‘s film is a very unusual little entry. It’s basically all over the map in terms of the genres, and is really never what you expect it to be. The premise reads like a sitcom, except with violence and mystery a la “La Femme Nikita.” Sure, in some places that could lead to an awfully messy film, but “My Wife is a Gangster” surprisingly works. Eun Jin is a mob boss named Big Brother, who was given the tag of a legend after taking on a group of men to defend a friend in combat. But after so many years of acting like a man and grimacing, she finds her long lost little sister and now must stick by her while she dies. Her sister wants one thing for her: she wants her to get married.
Hatchet (2006)
How many slashers movies have there been in the last few years that were worth a damn? Beyond “Leslie Vernon,” I can’t think of a single great slasher film that has made this slasher freak drool with sheer glee. “Hatchet” comes close to inspiring some foaming at the mouth, and I’m glad. As a horror nut that basically scours horror sites far and wide, I’ve heard about “Hatchet” almost non-stop. And thankfully, it’s lived up to its hype somewhat. “Hatchet” is a slasher comedy that really does admirably aspire to become a classic, and it succeeds in garner the horror comedy status from minute one. Not only is it a damn good and gory little slasher flick with a mean bastard of an axe killer, but it’s also pretty sharp and funny.
Idiocracy (2006)
“And the number one movie in the country was called “Ass.” And that’s all it was for ninety minutes. And it won Oscars…”
Our current society needs to be spoofed. In our current state it should analyzed, satirized, and cast into the darkness, because you’re all idiots, and you need to know that. You’re reality show watching, God fearing, literacy phobic, sadistic, consuming, ignorant drones, and someone needs to fill you in on that. “Idiocracy” is a step in the right direction as it’s a merciless satire on our society which is, by the way, currently run by pure idiots. It’s not surprising that “Idiocracy” wasn’t a hit because, risking repetition, movie goers are idiots as stated above, but it’s thankfully been praised among the movie geeks as a bonafide cult classic, a term that Mike Judge has become synonymous with.
A Portrait of Envy (2007)
Love, especially unrequited and unspoken love makes us do some rather perverse things. Sometimes it will bring about a dark side within us and force us to confront it without our knowledge, and leave us oblivious to all logic and reason. Thus is the hook of Garcia’s utterly morbid and unsettling short drama. Very much in the vein of “The Weight of Water,” Gillian is a humble and rather meek woman who suddenly finds her soul mate one day at work. Rather unassuming at first, she sparks a conversation with her co-worker Jerry, and the two engage in a conversation about art that instantly brings her to the brink of sheer euphoric bliss which is crushed under the weight of Jerry’s confession that he has a girlfriend he’s about to marry.
A Christmas Carol (1951): Ultimate Collector’s Edition (DVD)
It’s surprising that after all these years, after fifty five years of technology and CGI, and stylish directors bringing up this old story, that the 1951 version of “A Christmas Carol” is still the best. Why? Well, there are so many reasons. For one thing “A Christmas Carol” is filled with dread and utter morbid reveling, as it is intent on exploring the world of Ebenezer Scrooge and the punishment he’s earned for himself. Secondly, the hauntings by his old business partner are still rather chilling, including his utterly horrible howling at Scrooge’s defiance. Brian Desmond Hurst unravels a creepy and woefully dreadful vision of “A Christmas Carol” as he films most of Scrooge’s house in stark blacks while relying on factory devices of sound and mind games.
Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)
“Halloween” will be and must be compared to the original, because it’s a pale imitation, it’s a botched job on every meaning of the word. At the end of the day, while “Halloween” is still one of my all time favorite horror films, “Black Christmas” is by far the better and creepier picture. But the remakes are basically the same. They’re just so bad they’re embarrassing and Zombie fails to inspire an influence and creates what can simply be known as “The Devil’s Rejects: Haddonfield.” Zombie continues with his demonizing of the poor and lower class, while also treading over the same crap we were given in “The Devil’s Rejects.” Is this better than “Halloween: Resurrection”? Sure, but so is smashing your head into a wall.