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Batman’s Cinematic Beauties from Least Favorite to Absolute Favorite

harley-quinnThe latest trailer for David Ayer’s “Suicide Squad” movie just dropped and fans are excited for it (obvious Marvel bias!), mainly because it looks to be a bang up action movie with a great sense of humor. It also looks a lot like a comic book version of “The Dirty Dozen” with a bunch of scoundrels on a suicide mission and their superiors fully aware that they’re set to take the fall or die should they fail their mission. Along with the big screen versions of Killer Croc, and Deadshot coming to the film, among others, we have some classic Batman villainesses, one of whom is Harley Quinn. The long time fan favorite who made her debut in the nineties as an original creation from “Batman The Animated Series” has taken on a life of her own and is the center of the marketing for “Suicide Squad,” as she finally makes her big screen debut with Margot Robbie playing the role.

With the absolutely beautiful and sexy Robbie portraying the longtime psychotic fan girl and girlfriend of the Joker, I thought I’d run down a list of the most notable cinematic beauties from Batman’s long line of theatrical films. Since Quinn and other villains from “Suicide Squad” are Batman rogues, you can kind of almost count the upcoming film as a Batman spin off of a sorts.

Here is a list of Batman’s Cinematic Beauties ranked from My Least Favorite to Absolute Favorites. How would you rank the list?

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The Forest (2016) [Blu-Ray/Digital]

forestI wish Hollywood would stop trying to turn the legend of the Aokigahara Forest in to a horror movie. While the story of the forest itself is sad, and often times very creepy, it just doesn’t translate in to a good horror movie. Not in the slightest. One of the worst examples yet is Jason Zada’s “The Forest,” an absolutely lack luster and painfully dull mystery starring Natalie Dormer. Dormer, who is typically a great performer with a strong on-screen presence isn’t given much to do but run around and react to scary sights in the forest. And she plays twins!

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The Present (2014)

thepresent

Based on the comic strip by Fabio Coala, director Jacob Frey adds an almost Pixar twist to the famed strip about a boy and his dog, injecting so much more emotion and a touching final scene. If the original comic weren’t bittersweet enough, “The Present” realizes the concept for a full fledged animated short that deserves a feature film. Jake is a boy who spends most of his time in doors playing video games and avoiding the outside world. One day after work his mom comes home with a present, and Jake is elated to see it’s a puppy. Initially surprised, he’s disappointed when he notices the pup only has three legs.

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Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986)

HMPL

“Madonna can go to hell as far as I’m concerned! She’s a dick!”

If aliens ever came down to Earth and wanted to know what the eighties were like, they could look no further than the time capsule that is “Heavy Metal Parking Lot.” It is, as many have described it, the viral video before viral videos existed. I’d love to see a documentary about this film some day, or perhaps an actual feature made around the events that occur in the fifteen minute documentary. It’s a hilarious and often absurd look at a certain time period where everyone wore mullets, walked around without shirts, bragged about doing drugs, and women were often very proud to admit they wanted to “fuck” certain band members’ “brains out.”

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Cherry Falls (2000) [Blu-Ray]

cherryfalls

If anything, “Cherry Falls” is a valiant attempt to deliver a game changing slasher film that tries to challenge the conventions of the sub-genre left and right. It has all the right ingredients for one excellent horror film, but in the end is just a fine and serviceable genre entry. I wouldn’t be so quick to say it’s mediocre, but compared to a lot of other “Scream” clones released at the time, “Cherry Falls” is a fine companion piece. It’s not often we get a slasher film about a knife wielding killer hacking virgins to death. This time rather than slut shaming as we saw in “Scream,” the victims are punished for not having sex, and that’s a formula that almost works. Almost.

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Hush (2016)

Hush

A deaf writer lives and works in her secluded home in the woods where she gets few visitors.  Then one night, a masked man shows up and stalks her in an unnerving game of cat and mouse. Director Mike Flannagan and lead actress Kate Siegel co-wrote Hush which all takes place in and around the lead’s, Maddie’s, home.  The limited settings work here as Maddie is trying to escape this mad man without help or access to the outside world.  This is a movie with a total of five characters, two of which support the bulk of the story.  The characters here feel real, not caricatures of real people or stereotypes.

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