Tag Archives: A

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

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What Disney studios have done is completely remade their take of “Alice in Wonderland” except they’ve given director Tim Burton carte blanche to completely re-think the lore and Burtonize it to the fullest extent. These days though, Burtonize is akin to doing basically nothing to completely re-work a formula. “Alice in Wonderland” is Tim Burton basically just riding on his name recognition even more by offering up a re-telling of “Alice in Wonderland” except now with a darker tone, surreal imagery, the usual suspects in terms of supporting characters, and a cliché story about a person destined to save a land and become a warrior who will save them from evil.

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Avalon High (2010)

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avalonhighSo why am I reviewing a movie adapted from a teen book I’ve never read in to a film on a channel meant for preteens starring a bunch of actors I’ve never heard of before? Well, because admittedly, “Avalon High” really peaked my interest while changing the channel (and uh… staying on… “Wizards of Waverly Place for a half hour, don’t judge me) and I really had to see what kind of movie “Avalon High” was. As a kid in middle school I was absolutely enamored with the legend of King Arthur and always found the myths and folklore to be absolutely amazing. From the lady in the lake, Excalibur, Merlin, the round table, Mordrid. Camelot, the love triangle of Arthur, his best friend Lancelot, and Guinevere, it’s all rather entertaining and compelling to research, and watching “Avalon High” I realized if I was thirteen this movie would have been watched by me thirty times a day.

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Assassin's Creed: Ascendance (2010)

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As I suspected going in to this originally, “Ascendance” is really just something of a sample of the upcoming game to whet the appetite’s of fans and isn’t really about telling a story as it is setting up the potential for the main arc of the new “Assassin’s Creed” game. There is a lot of foreshadowing, a lot of storytelling and dialogue that’s meant to reflect on events in the game, teases to events about to occur, and even a cameo by a major influential historical figure in the final scene. Admittedly I’ve never played the game nor am I familiar with much the particulars so “Acsendance” is a short film that will be polarizing to just about anyone who hasn’t played the actual game and are unaware of the sequel and its specifics.

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Amer (2009)

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Visually and viscerally, “Amer” is a film that is a throwback to the classic Giallo thrillers, but deep down it is much more of an academic breakdown of the Giallo sub-genre and not so much a straight forward giallo film. True it has shades of the visual flourishes with uses of color and specific dashes of sharp editing that suck us in to the narrative, all the while invoking memories of “Suspiria” and “Tenebre” upon which both directors call on to create something of an evocative sexual thriller, in the end. “Amer” is admittedly an exhausting film and that counts as a criticism and a recommendation.

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Amateur Porn Star Killer 3: The Final Chapter (2009)

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In what I can assume is the final film in the “Amateur Pornstar Killer” film series, Shane Ryan commits fully to the “Final Chapter” in which our villainous voyeur Brandon returns yet again to wreak havoc and pure sexual violence on a poor young girl. Rather than lure her in like the first film, or gain her trust as a friend in the second, he’s just taken her hostage. Seemingly out of options this time around, Brandon and his camera have kidnapped a horrified young woman and brings her to a deserted landscape where he proceeds to pretty much sexually abuse and rape the crying woman as she can do nothing but cry and endure his punishment. As far as Ryan’s film series has gone, this is his most disturbing film to date and I seriously had a difficult time sitting through this. As is the case with Ryan’s other films, there are some utterly pointless sequences here including the first ten minutes which cuts from Brandon’s torture of his first victim, while oddly cutting to establishing shots of a city and Halloween decorations.

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

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VPz6MaKAt this time horror fans are so beaten down to a messy shit stain that they really don’t have the strength to complain about remakes of their beloved horror classics anymore. Because whether we like it or not, Platinum Dunes and other horrific money grubbing companies will rehash our favorite titles and nothing is off limits. That preface aside, Neo-Nightmare sets down on basically the same premise except with ten times less the flavor and creativity of Wes Craven’s admittedly dated original. I never liked Platinum Dunes to begin with but “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ends as such a blatant spit in the face of horror fans everywhere it practically begins with a disclaimer reading, “We don’t give a shit about quality, but hey at least we have your money, suckers!” And they fell for it hook line and sinker.

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Asian Bad Ass Meets Sexy Alien: The Interactive Game (2010)

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I haven’t been a very big fan of Guil Clavera’s projects in the past. While he does have an interesting creativity to him, his movies don’t always come off as entertaining as they should be. Trying to break out of the box that is indie filmmaking Clavera is testing the waters with his Youtube project “Asian Bad Ass Meets Sexy Alien” which is a series of short films that uses the interactive element of Youtube to turn the series in to a “Choose Your Own Adventure” game. While I was very skeptical off the bat, I found myself rather immersed in the different paths that could be taken as the game goes on.

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