Top Five Favorite Moments in 1990’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”

TMNT1990In 1990, just two days after TMNT 1990 premiered in theaters, my dad took my brother and me to see it in theaters in Manhattan one afternoon. It was just the three of us in what felt like a humongous theater, draped in the dark as the Turtles my brother and I worshipped finally jumped on to the screen after saving April O’Neil from being killed by the Foot Clan.

While I don’t particularly love the current cinematic incarnations of the TMNT, I hope there are kids out there getting the same awe inducing experience with “TMNT: Out of the Shadows” as I did when I was seven. “TMNT ‘90” still holds up very well today, with some excellent action set pieces, great humor, and so many quotable moments. Here are only five of my favorite moments in a movie filled with some banner scenes.

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Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars (1995)

cellblockHenri Charr’s “Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars” (aka “Banished Behind Bars”) is one of the most nineties straight to video movies ever released. It’s a rip off of “Bad Boys” that pits nothing but gorgeous blond women against one another in a women’s prison and forces them to fight it out for control and petty grudges. Henri Charr’s crime thriller is surprisingly convoluted, but one that also gets a free pass for being one of the last of its kind before the early aughts indie resurgence of women in prison films.

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Streets of Fire (1984)

streetsoffireIt’s difficult to explain “Streets of Fire” to anyone and make it sound coherent. Walter Hill’s action film has just about everything, and ends up creating one of the most vivid and exciting amalgams of genres and themes I’ve ever seen. “Streets of Fire” is a film you just have to sit down, shut up, and experience. It’s a post depression, mid-fifties, action, crime thriller and romance noir with a rock and roll and soul beat. See? I can’t sum this movie up in one whole sentence, and I’m not going to try to. I’m ashamed I took so many years getting around to watching “Streets of Fire,” but goddamn I’m very glad that I did.

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Epic History X-Men, Volume 3: The Dark Phoenix Saga

EpicHistory1There’s no bigger an X-Men fan online than Comic Book Girl 19. The web personality has made her claim to fame from online personality to bonafide geek goddess by providing insightful, lucid, and very controversial opinions about comic books and pop culture in general. Among some of the biggest pop culture dynasties, Comic Book Girl 19 is one of the most passionate X-Men fans around. Like me, she hates the movies, but loves the X-Men comics and longs for a day when we can finally see them adapted properly on the big screen. “Epic History X-Men” has nothing to do with the movies, and is in fact about a certain stream of storylines and character arcs involving the X-Men.

Comic Book Girl 19 and director Tyson Wheeler have their cut off point, and end episode three of three with the “Dark Phoenix Saga.” The massive science fiction arc was penned by Chris Claremont and is one of the most complex, complicated, and unusual storylines ever put to the comics. And Bryan Singer actually is going to try to simplify it for one or two films. That aside, “Epic History X-Men” is a fantastic and very entertaining documentary where Comic Book Girl 19 and her sidekick Robot lay out the events of “The Dark Phoenix Saga” and explain the storyline’s nuances and emotional strong points as thoroughly as possible.

Though the series as a whole could just being Comic Book Girl 19 sitting in a chair and laying out every point of the storyline, she and director Tyson Wheeler switch up the monotony by adding splashes of panels from the comic books. They also animated a lot of the panels, and even add their own voice overs and great sound effects, all of which really add a flavor and excitement to an already enthusiastic host. Comic Book Girl 19 loves the X-Men, and she seems to have a ball describing every storyline, from Jean Grey returning as the Phoenix, the big rumble with the X-Men and an erotic mutant organization called the Hellfire Club, Wolverine taking down a whole army of guards single handedly, to Jean’s eventual transformation in to the dark side as the Dark Phoenix which ultimately split the team apart.

Comic Book Girl 19 even takes the time out to introduce her favorite X-Men: Dazzler. Dazzler is a light controlling mutant that Comic Book Girl 19 has fought for, defended, and consistently taken scrutiny for favoring over everyone else in the comics, but makes a darn good case for the character’s significance to the “Dark Phoenix Saga.” What’s punctuated through most of Volume 3 is that the “X-Men” isn’t just a series about young people going on adventures. It’s a long and very unique consistent epic about people with extraordinary powers from various ethnicities and nationalities fighting for humanity, and learning that they themselves are human, in the end.

Though considerably low budget, “Epic History” volumes 1-3 garners some bang up production with excellent voice work. They’re undoubtedly very exciting, entertaining, and heartfelt glimpses in to only some of the most important storylines in one of the most unique and original characters in comic book lore. Comic Book Girl 19 treats the material with great reverence and will likely leave you seeking out the books and appreciating the characters so much more. Suffice it to say I had more fun with the third chapter than I did with “X-Men: Apocalypse.”

“Epic History X-Men Volume 3: The Dark Phoenix Saga” is now available on Vimeo On Demand.

Five Ways to Fix “Arrow”

Arrow-season4Well, “Arrow” season four has come and gone and let’s face it: The season finale stunk on ice. Even “The Flash” season finale, which didn’t progress our characters very much, was still so much better than “Arrow’s” finale which, from beginning to end, was a sloppy, silly, stupid, plot hole filled mess. Once upon a time, “Arrow” was the big gun in the CW action universe, but now it’s lagging behind. The goofy “Legends of Tomorrow” is assembling the mythical “Justice Society of America,” while “Supergirl” is set to join her DC super pals on the CW Network very soon.

If “Arrow” doesn’t pick up its game, it’s going to be the show that’s wading in tepid water, while the other action series’ are aiming for bigger ambitions and outside the box storytelling. Here are five ways “Arrow” can be fixed to get back to when it was an entertaining crime thriller about a vigilante seeking redemption.

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Five Questions I Have After X-Men Apocalypse

X-Men-ApocalypseIf you pressed me about “X-Men Apocalypse” and asked what I thought of it, when pushed in to a corner as an X-Men fan, I’d reply with: Meh. It’s not “Batman v Superman” murky, and awful, but it’s by no means going to dethrone “Civil War” as the superhero showdown of the year. Bryan Singer is terrible, the X-Men Movies still haven’t given us a great iteration these characters deserve, and for some reason Professor X and Magneto are still given the most screen time and importance over everyone else.

That said while “Apocalypse” wasn’t a waste of time, it also opened the door for huge questions that never went answered. Here are five pressing questions I’d love for someone to answer to me. Do NOT keep reading if you’ve yet to see “X-Men Apocalypse.”

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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

xmenapocalypseAt the end of the day, “X-Men Apocalypse” is a big step up from the films in the series that preceded it, but it’s still just a Bryan Singer “X-Men” movie. Its two and a half hours of surface level action and superficial ideas that still haven’t broken in to the more complex themes of prejudice, racism, hatred, and bigotry that have made the X-Men property so beloved and widely embraced. Six movies later and only now FOX seems to be getting that a big advantage of the “X-Men” movies is that there are so many fascinating heroes and average people turned in to heroes of varied shapes, sizes, and colors. Only now that Marvel has embraced the team movie are Singer and FOX transforming the “X-Men” in to a team franchise.

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