It’s hard to express why I love Berry Gordy’s “The Last Dragon” so much. I have loved it for years ever since I was a small child and used to watch it religiously on network television every time it came on. Perhaps it’s the minority hero, perhaps it’s the Bruce Lee idolatry, who the hell knows? With “The Last Dragon” I stopped asking why I loved it a long time ago and just embraced it as one of my all time favorite action films. Yes, I said it’s one of my all time favorite action films. It’s not just a film but it’s an experience to boot. Taimak’s performance as Bruce Leroy is just so genuine and fun it’s hard to really rag on his presence here.
Tag Archives: Cult
Scared Silly: 13 Classic Horror Comedies (DVD)
For the Mill Creek compilation “Scared Silly,” the company brings together the roots of horror comedy with a thirteen movie set that’s well worth the cash. Some of it is the same old material you’ll find in other collections, but considering the sub-genre, that’s nothing to sneeze at. On Disc One there’s 1961’s Creature from the Haunted Sea starring the googly eyed sea weed monster, as directed by Roger Corman. It’s a classic you can’t help but giggle through.
Top 5 Baffling Aspects Of “TMNT: We Wish You a Turtle Christmas”
There are no weapons, there’s no fighting, no Shredder, no April, no Casey, and no foot clan. And those aren’t the worst crimes this monstrosity commits. This is the definition of a quick cash grab. I am quick to believe someone raided a storage closet from a party entertainers’ warehouse, and decided to release their own Christmas themed Ninja Turtles video. Even at eleven years old, I would have shut it off after the first few minutes. “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” doesn’t even last longer than twenty five minutes in length, and still feels long as hell.
The plot to this anomaly is that the turtles are trying to find a present for Master Splinter. So they prepare for Christmas, and go looking for a perfect present. Cue the mind numbingly terrible cash grab that is “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas.” Here are five of the more head scratching aspects of the twenty minute “special.
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Lord of Illusions (1995): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray]
I appreciate what Clive Barker set out to do with “Lord of Illusions” by introducing us to Harry D’Amour, a reluctant private eye who’d be thrown in to horrifying situations that far outstretched mobsters and cheating wives. In “Lord of Illusions,” Scream Factor gives Barker the chance to present audiences with the director’s cut. This new cut is longer, re-edited, and given a heavier emphasis on the neo-noir crime investigation by D’Amour that leads him to the front door of a satanic wizard that intends to destroy the world, and everything in it. I really wish I could have seen what D’Amour would get in to in future cases. Perhaps the cenobites? Something Lovecraftian?
Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)
One thing I never understood about Damien Thorne is his character as a whole. Is Damien pre-programmed to be evil? Did his disciples and handler have to brainwash him to believe his God is the only God? Did Damien believe this stuff? And why does he seem to fully embrace his role as the anti-Christ in the third film when in the second film, he was a young boy struggling with his urges for good and evil? What clicked in him to inspire him to continue his plan for world domination?
And once he dominated the world, what then? Is he the one who rules the world or does he hand the duties over to the dark lord of the underworld? In either case, “The Final Conflict” is the final leg of the “Omen” series, where Damien has finally risen to power. He now runs the Thorne Industries and has no one to defy him. He’s wealthy, and powerful, and now he’s making a play to campaign for ambassador. Over the course of his teens in to his adulthood, the one lone Damien is now a man with an army behind him.
Not only does he have a handler, but a league of believers, many of whom are willing to do Damien’s bidding with his flick of a brow and a smile. Sam Neill is adequate as Damien Thorne, presenting a smarmy and very smug quality to the character. I would have depicted Damien as something of an unassuming man, but Neill is able to salvage his miscasting by making Damien likable. He’s a clean cut young politician with youth on his side, and he begins taking a liking to the son of a journalist who he thinks has promise in the evil business of destroying mankind.
As the followers sight a sacred constellation, Damien realizes the second coming of Christ at hand, and now in order to prevent it, he must murder the first borns of every family in the world. Meanwhile, he persists in dodging the assassins that have made it their mission to murder Damien and end his reign of tyranny. He does this in the most bad ass methods imaginable, first posing as someone, which ends in a confusing murder of an innocent person, and then turning hunting dogs on their master, possessing them in to eating him alive. “The Final Conflict” was not the final conflict as we witnessed with “The Omen IV: The Awakening,” but for a last outing of the original trilogy, it’s a solid last adventure for Damien Thorne and his evil plan to rule the world.
WolfCop (2014)
Director Lowell Dean’s indie horror actioner “Wolfcop” is probably one of my favorite superhero movies of the year. While it’s a loving tribute to horror schlock, it’s also an unabashed superhero movie filled with mythos, a bonafide origin, and even a customized vehicle that our titular wolf cop travels around to maul bad guys in. You’d think wolf puns and a Dirty Harry-esque vigilante with claws would be a complete and utter misfire, but director Dean embraces his premise and offers up a great horror action comedy.
Darklight (2004)
It’s not so much that “Darklight” is a terrible movie, it’s just so lackluster. You figure a movie with such prime material for a dark superhero thriller would be fun, or at least campy, but “Darklight” is a lethargic film. I figured it was me the first time I watched this back in 2004, but ten years later, and the film is still so lifeless and lacking in any kind of charisma or charm. Not even the lovely Shiri Appleby seems to be enjoying this role. She plays a mythical female demon cast out of the Garden of Eden for defying men who becomes a superhero in modern times and ends up serving men, anyway. That’s not a good reason to root for a superhero if you ask me.





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