Hot Summer in the City (1976)

Posted on May 28, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

One of the more humorous aspects of “Hot Summer in the City” is the presumption that it’s an actual movie because its book ended by “Summer in the City” by Lovin’ Spoonful. Not only does the song have nothing to do with the actual movie, but director Gail Palmer seems to just have bought the rights to play it at the beginning and end of her movie to add some sense of credibility trying to eagerly convince us that there’s a serious plot here, instead of just a hint of a narrative in between all of the rough sex and rape. In all honesty, it’s just a hardcore porno with dashes of story here and there and some wildly cartoonish Caucasian protagonists and African American villains. And there’s a lot of rape, too. Poor white chick gets raped by black dudes. That’s the plot.

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Shark Swarm (2008)

Posted on May 26, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

I would love to say that this is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, I really would, but when all is said and done, it’s really just a typically awful television movie with a three hour run time that is about as necessary as another killer shark movie. When I finished “Shark Swarm” I blamed myself for sitting through it, and I completely forgot about it once the credits rolled. Boring as piss, “Shark Swarm” is one of the most derivative of the killer animal movies with elements that don’t try to break the mold and instead just follow along with clichés incessantly bringing us through the motions until the finale. Sharks are traveling in swarms because well… we’re never given a real explanation.

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The Andromeda Strain (2008): Part One

Posted on May 22, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

If anyone knows me properly, then they know that I absolutely love post-apocalyptic fiction and it’s a wonder why I’ve never read Michael Crichton’s novel before. I guess I just never crossed paths with it. Although a bit gaudy at times, this new television mini series is packed with heavyweights both behind the camera and in front of them, and not a single person goes without serving some sort of memorable moment in the spotlight. Everyone is here, even Andre Braugher, the character actor who hardly ever appears in an ensemble without biting it before everyone. “The Andromeda Strain” is a bit familiar, but then Crichton only serves to explore our fear of space travel and the potential repercussions of discovering something alien. And unstoppable. What if we discovered alien bacteria that ravaged Earth? Would we even be able to stop it?

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Ring of Death (2008)

Posted on May 21, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

“Death Warrant,” “Undisputed,” and “Enter the Dragon.” If you’ve seen those films then there’s a good chance you won’t need to see the oddly titled “Ring of Death” which is a simultaneous nod and derivation of the aforementioned with none of the charm of either of them. “Ring of Death” is a movie with every such potential to be a fun guy’s action film, and fails to be nothing more than a sub-par television movie with the illusion of edge embedded into its rather predictable story. The writers never really provide us with the slightest bit of originality, opting instead to rely on our familiarity with the action genre.

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In Plain Sight

Posted on May 20, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

Ah yes, it’s another show on cable about a super woman who is really just a regular person when she’s with her family, or in her personal life. She mothers everyone, talks back to her superiors, and even has a “Moonlighting” relationship with her hunky partner. And on the outside, she’s a professional risking her life as a Witness Protection Officer relocating witnesses who, well, witness something corroborating, and must be relocated. She’s a not so nice person though, and prefers to act on her gut instead of follow procedure (you know how the song goes!), and this gets her into trouble. But I wasn’t too down on “In Plain Sight,” because while it’s better suited for Lifetime, Mary McCormack finally gets a good vehicle that allows us to see what her supporting performances over the years, haven’t.

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The Devil's Music (2008)

Posted on May 13, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

I’ve been interested in much of what Jinx Media has supplied horror geeks over the last few years. Say what you want about independent horror movies, but there are studios out there trying for originality, and Jinx Media seems to be accomplishing it for the most part. First there was “Killer Killer,” which I found to be an utter blast, and now the UK based studio brings “The Devil’s Music.” Pat Higgins’ mock documentary, a film that will completely bring down audiences guards presuming to be one thing and then progressively transforms into a horror movie. Surely, it’s one of the finest indies of 2008, with production values that are immaculate. Everything from the mock concert performances, to the talk show interviews is shockingly genuine, and the story of Erika Spawn is even better.

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Southland Tales (2006)

Posted on May 4, 2008 by Felix Vasquez

Acting off the pretense that it’s smarter than we all think, for approximately two and a half hours, Richard Kelly’s “Southland Tales” is proof positive that “Donnie Darko” was a fluke and he is a one trick pony, and an insufferable one to boot. And alas, Kelly will always ride on the reputation that precedes this rancid pile of garbage and anything else on the way out of his mind. Here, Kelly taps the “Donnie Darko” well again. There are chapters, spirituality, a disjointed series of sub-plots, visual flourishes all with a touch of self-awareness that kicks us in the face every single second. And in the process, Kelly also manages to beat us over the head with political commentary that is warranted but so clumsily delivered he often seems to try too hard.

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