In spite of its many, many failings and flaws, I liked “Underworld”. It’s no masterpiece, it’s not even that good, yet it’s still a pretty fun movie that’s mindless without being dumb. I like to describe it as “Matrix” meets horror, meets Abercrombie and Fitch. Sadly, the lore presented in the (now) “Underworld” franchise is still skewed and poor, but it sure is pretty fun. “Underworld: Evolution” is, I’m ashamed to admit, a step up from the previous installment. And it’s much edgier than the first film with more blood, and gore, and some very sexually suggestive material.
Tag Archives: Fantasy
Pom Poko (Heisei tanuki gassen ponpoko) (1994)
“Pom Poko” is an utterly original and incredibly odd animated film that’s really not just a fantasy fable, but more of a commentary on society. The raccoons here are more or less their own worst enemies and they can’t even realize it. Rather than focusing on preserving their land, keeping their family from over-populating, and remembering their priorities they’re more concerned with eating, sleeping, and once they grab a hold of a television, they’re more concerned with what’s on than with what’s going on.
Whisper of the Heart (Mimi wo sumaseba) (1995)
“Whisper of the Heart” is the one and only film ever directed by Yoshifumi Kondo, a director who master Hayao Miyazaki intended to reign as his protégé. Miyazaki was going to retire from film and let Kondo take over from where he left off, however, Kondo sadly died at the age of forty-seven, and this was his only piece of art that was left by him. Obviously, Miyazaki never retired, but Kondo’s film does show traces of Miyazaki’s imagination and it’s clear why Miyazaki intended him as his successor.
The Fog (2005)
I consider myself a very mature man who knows how to restrain himself in terms of disagreeing with people. But to the people who found this to be a remotely good film, I must ask: Are you stupid or something? Is this what you define as entertainment? But, I digress. My apologies. With basically the same plot, we delve in the San Antonio Bay/Island where they’re preparing for their ceremony to pay respect to the town’s founders. Fog rolls in. People die. Ghosts return mighty pissed off. And the shit hits the fan. By shit, I mean this film. Who thought this remake would be a good idea? Not the concept of remaking it, but this script? I’ve never seen such sloppy writing before in my life. I can safely say, I can squeeze out a better version out of my ass, without hesitation, but hey, we’re not all working for Hollywood. So, what do the writers force feed through this manufactured screenplay?
Laputa: Castle in the Sky (Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta) (1986)
I think one of the reasons why I respond so well to a Hayao Miyazaki film is that he aspires purposely to create a simple work of art, but his simplicity becomes a truly grand piece of work whether he’s aware of it or not, he makes films that resemble the golden serials of the film age, what George Lucas should have done with his “Star Wars” prequels. He relishes in opportunities to be simple providing simple plots. A humble hero, a wondrous heroine, a main villain, pirates, the amazing monster/robot, and the open sky.
Serenity (2005)
Brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, I am here to preach the gospel, the gospel of “Firefly”, can I get an amen?! Like you I was once lost and now I was found by Joss Whedon’s amazing and brutally bastardized television series “Firefly” which was taken much too soon before its prime, can I get an amen?! Much like you, I was turned on to the “Firefly” series by word of mouth. A friend told a friend who told me, and I gazed upon the glory that is “Firefly” and I am now a brown coat, one of legions of fans, can I get an amen?! I then spread the word and made it my mission to do so! What, you dare doubt the power of “Firefly”?! Well, I cast you in to the damnation of “Harry Potter” fandom you heathen, and I tell you, that “Firefly” is the beginning, the middle, and the end of what a masterpiece is and should be! Can I get a fucking amen?!
Bram Stoker's Way of the Vampire (2005)
Vampire movies are perhaps the easiest of the horror genre to make aside from zombie films. Some fake fangs, contacts, immense over acting and voila (watch the actors here attempt to mutter their lines through fake teeth!). You can go to an online store and simply type in “vampire” and you’ll come up with about seventy to a hundred vampire films. What’s rare about vampire films though, is that it’s extremely difficult to find a vampire movie that’s actually worth watching. I can think of only a few. “Bram Stoker’s The Way of the Vampire” is no exception to this rule.