Tag Archives: Grindhouse

Zombies vs. Strippers (2012)

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So what do we learn from Zombies vs. Strippers? Zombies who moan “brains!” aren’t specifically limited to eating brains, strippers crave anal sex even during a zombie raid, cameramen will stay focused on a TV host even if they’re being mauled by the walking dead, watching someone eating someone else’s fingers doesn’t set off alarms that something is wrong with them, pole dancing is actually a hidden form of martial arts, cops are nowhere to be found in the city, zombies will pounce on extras but slowly creep up on principle cast members of a movie, strip clubs only play songs without lyrics, strip clubs only employ four strippers at a time, and when you’re bitten in the butt you won’t notice until much later on. All things considered “Zombies vs. Strippers” is a pretty crummy movie.

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42nd Street Forever: The Blu-Ray Edition (2012)

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For Grindhouse aficionados, “42nd Street Forever” is historic as a release because it’s quite possibly one of the greatest compilations of grindhouse film trailers around. At nearly four hours in length, “42nd Street Forever” compiles a plethora of grindhouse trailers and rare press footage that passes through the various phases of the grindhouse plateau that will appease the appetites of many fans alike. There are numerous trailers for blaxploitation, asianslpoitation, porn, erotica, cannibal films, and much, much more including rare trailers to films like “Italian Stallion,” the rare porno starring Sylvester Stallone.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Ultimate Edition (1974) [Blu-Ray]

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0003030618029_500X500As Joe Bob Briggs once stated, it’s telling of Tobe Hooper’s groundbreaking horror classic that to this day, conservatives still use the 1974 grindhouse slasher as a means of expressing how films are corrupting society. Because even so many decades after its initial release, there’s never been anything like it in theaters. No other film has managed to infuriate movie critics and analysts as Hooper’s vile and detestable horror film that depicts the back woods of the South as a futile wasteland filled with death, dread, and grime. Hooper pretty much set the bar high in terms of how harrowing the horror genre could be in cinemas, and “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is still such a visceral experience to behold.

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Frankenhooker (1990) [Blu-Ray]

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I liken “Frankenhooker” very much to the classic “Re-Animator.” That is if “Re-Animator” were conceived by a mentally deranged chimpanzee. Even as a dark horror comedy “Frankenhooker” is a film that has to be taken with a grain of salt. It’s so monumentally moronic and ridiculous that I couldn’t believe what I was seeing most of the time. Of course going in to a film named “Frankenhooker” you’re not going to get high art, but Frank Henenlotter takes viewer expectations and drags it in to the mud with a shit eating grin. “Frankenhooker” is yet another take on “Frankenstein” with a bit of a Lovecraft twist that really is never as creative as it thinks it is.

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Drive-In Cult Classics: 32 Movie Collection (DVD)

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81VpV8sPqkL._SL1426_Are we really going to review thirty two movies in one review? Well yes and no. For years I’ve always found the boxed sets from discount chains like Mill Creek to be something of a peculiarity. Sometimes they can be really cheap starter kits for prospective movie buyers. You can find them at discount stores or garage sales and for anyone looking for an untouched two dollar version of “Night of the Living Dead,” they can surely find something of use for a set.

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The PC Thug: Grinding Better Than the Pros

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For a long time I’ve boasted that if you want to see what’s happening in the neo-grindhouse movement, the best thing you can do is go look for the independent filmmakers and see what they’re up to. Because whether it’s “The Hood Has Eyez,” or “Foxxy Madonna vs. The Black Death,” the odds are it’s better than the entirety of “Grindhouse.” Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed “Grindhouse,” I did. I thought it had a lot of creativity to it but felt more like a throwback than an attempt to mimic the actual grindhouse motif. Because even the most ardent grindhouse fans will tell you that the best grindhouse films have a lot going for them: One is that they’re usually comprised of zero budgets, and two, they’re often tedious. “Thriller: A Cruel Picture” is one of my favorite cult films of all time, but mid-way it lags with gratuitous sex scenes with Christina Lindberg, and her ultimate plot for revenge.

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Drive Angry (2011)

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drive-angry-3d1Who knows why a movie about the lone ranger from hell flopped in 2011? No one will ever know. I attribute it to the lack of big name draw and exhaustion with Nic Cage from general movie audiences, but nevertheless, “Drive Angry” is an ambitious and admirably raucous grindhouse throwback that takes the battle of heaven and hell and brings it to planet Earth where a dad comes back from hell to keep his daughter from going to the stomping grounds of Satan. “Drive Angry” is a movie that… well, it’s a movie. It’s a movie that is there and it has no idea who the hell it’s supposed to be marketed to.

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