From the man who gave us such rousing successes as “Sucker Punch” comes a new vision of Batman and Superman that’s pitch black, violent, and painfully stupid. Zack Snyder is a man with so much admiration for Alan Moore and Frank Miller, he spends the majority of “Batman v Superman” ripping them off wholesale. Snyder’s film is such a botched job he works in reverse, and takes the time out to deconstruct his vision of the iconic superheroes we haven’t even gotten to know yet. But hey, at least we get to see Bruce Wayne’s parents murdered in an alleyway once again. To make matters worse, the film is long, overstuffed, and painfully boring.
Tag Archives: Robots
Sentinel (2015)
NOW SEEKING FUNDING ON KICKSTARTER – Jason Turner’s “Sentinel” reminds me a lot of the Harry Canyon segment from “Heavy Metal” except so much more of a neo-noir cyberpunk love letter than the former. Presented as a motion comic, Jason Turner plays Ex-Cop Alex Calibourne, a man with enhanced body augmentations that lives in a crime ridden albeit futuristic city named Iron City. Calibourne lives and breathes by his robotic enhancements, and uses his artificial intelligence J.E.S.S., a sassy female AI, to guide him through his adventures in the underworld.
Batman v Superman: Extended Cut or Why You Can’t Pour Perfume on a Pig
Pearls. Again. Bruce Wayne’s origin. Again. Joe Chill. I’m presuming. Again. I can still hear the echoes of fan boys rejoicing that “Batman v Superman” wouldn’t be another origin story, and yet director Zack Snyder allows us the thirtieth origin of Bruce Wayne, all for the purpose of squeezing in Bruce muttering “Martha.” Which is his mother. And so a thousand memes were born.
Director Zack Snyder doesn’t allow us the benefit of young Superman or Clark Kent with his mother, also curiously named Martha, because that would make sense. Plus, Snyder never worked with Diane Lane or Kevin Costner. It would be funny though to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Lauren Cohan playing John and Martha Kent.
Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (OAV) (1999)
Shut up, Tails! Granted, I have always liked the “Sonic” movie from 1999 that finds him battling Metal Sonic, but Tails has to be the most grating animated sidekick of all time. True, he’s still a useful superhero, but in the end I hated this character. “Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie” from 1999, originally made in 1996, is the anime continuation of the original animated series from the mid nineties. I speak of the very good animated adventure, not the crappy Looney Tunes knock off that aired almost at the same time. This time around Sonic is relaxing in his world alongside Tails, and finds out that Robotnik aka Eggman is back.
He’s kidnapped the president and his daughter, insisting Sonic and Tails must go to Eggmanland to stop his evil clone. Dark Robotnik is a robotic beast with massive wings who thinks like Robotnik, and Sonic has to travel to the city to stop the generator before it explodes. But things get tough as Sonic and Tails realize the city has a ton of hazards, and they’re hopelessly outnumbered. Plus, they don’t know that Robotnik has Hyper Metal Sonic, a robotic version of Sonic, waiting for him ready to be activated. Thankfully though, Sonic and Tails aren’t completely alone, as they gain the help of their rogue friend Knuckles.
Knuckles, once an anti-hero, is now an adventurous hero who takes it upon himself to make sure Sonic and Tails pull off their mission safely. “Sonic” is a short and sweet animated adventure with some darn good animation, and an excellent cyberpunk aesthetic that anime buffs and followers of the cyberpunk sub-genre will appreciate. Though, admittedly, the movie is slim on narrative, the director makes up for it with some killer action, and picturing Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles doing what they do best, and looking darn cool performing their signature moves we’ve seen in the classic games. This is a movie that still holds up; it was a lot of fun back in 1999, and it’s a good time today.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
While 2014’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” was a watered down remake of the 1990 Jim Henson production, “Out of the Shadows” is a larger and sillier remake of “Secret of the Ooze” taking a lot of the ideas from the aforementioned film and realizing them to a more “TMNT” accurate vision. “Secret of the Ooze” had all the implications of the Krang, Baxter Stockman and the like, but “Out of the Shadows” takes that and re-introduces it to make about as much sense as it can. Rather than Tokka and Rahzar, we finally have Bebop and Rocksteady in their full disgusting glory, battling the Ninja Turtles, and playing stooges to the Shredder. “Out of the Shadows” isn’t a masterpiece by any means, but it’s ten times better than its 2014 predecessor.
That might be because it comes up with a radical new idea and focuses the majority of the sequel on the titular Ninja Turtles. April O’Neil is still a major character but is pushed to the sidelines more and more, allowing the characters we came to see a bigger spotlight and more of a chance to grow and blossom. The Platinum Dumbs version of the turtles is still wildly imperfect and stupid, but “Out of the Shadows” is at least fun, and tries to give us as many elements from the canon as possible. After Shredder’s plans from the first film are thwarted, he’s taken to jail and sent to a maximum security prison, supervised by Officer Casey Jones. When Shredder is broken free by his foot clan, he brings along thugs Bebop and Rocksteady to set off a plan to take over the world alongside a new alien ally.
Armed with mad scientist Baxter Stockman, Shredder plans to build a mutant army, and use his alien allies to help him rule. When the Turtles, with the help of April, learn of the mutagen, they learn the ooze has potential to turn them in to humans. With the turtles still pariahs of the city, Raphael is tempted to become human, while Leonardo tries to convince them to stay true to themselves. This time around there’s a larger focus on the dynamics of the brothers, as Leo and Raph bicker and fight for command over this current development, while Michelangelo is no longer making erection jokes, and is now the party dude we know and love, making cracks, fawning over pizza, and approaching every challenge with a chuckle worthy of Spiccoli. Stephen Amell is also a fun addition to the cast, providing a charismatic take on Casey Jones.
“Out of the Shadows” is a really good time and about as close to great as can be expected from something starring Megan Fox. I wish she’d drop out and allow an actress with actual ability and chemistry with her co-stars to take the reins as April. “Out of the Shadows” also has no idea how to handle so many elements of the narrative as there’s so much going on for a hundred minute movie. A lot of conflicts are tacked on, sub-plots go nowhere, and Splinter being retconned to have no connection to Shredder makes him a virtually pointless addition to the team. He literally does nothing but meditates in the background and offer convenient pearls of wisdom to his sons, with no actual emotional investment in their battle. You could have cut Splinter out of this movie, and it would have had no effect on the overall production.
Meanwhile there is the gaping wide hole of the new mutagen presented from Dimension X and the Krang. If the mutagen turns Bebop and Rocksteady from humans to animals, why can the mutagen possibly turn the turtles in to humans? They weren’t humans before they became teenage turtles. The implication of being mutants is that they’re anthropomorphic and human like, so wouldn’t they revert back to normal everyday turtles if given the mutagen? Also, I’m not a science wiz, but since when do the turtles have human DNA in them? Wouldn’t becoming human being a mutation be very redundant to the narrative? That said, if you can forgive the canyon wide plot hole, “Out of the Shadows” is an entertaining diversion that improves on a lot of the glaring flaws from the 2014 reboot.
Star Wars: Poe Dameron #1
Hey you can complain all you want about lack of female heroes and lack of African American Heroes and lack of Gay heroes in “Star Wars.” What about us? What about the Hispanics? We have nothing! And don’t come emailing me about the Extended Universe because it doesn’t count. For the short time he was in “The Force Awakens,” Poe Dameron made his mark, promising a riveting and unique star bound hero who took his X-Wing and kicked some dark side ass.
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
It’s apropos of Marvel to finally bring in Spider-Man to “Civil War.” Because while it is essential that he be introduced to a brilliant cinematic universe, he is representative of the underlying message behind “Civil War.” With great power comes great responsibility. After spending so many years doing battle with aliens and super powered foes, the Avengers are finally taking a toll on the world, and the government from all sides of the globe is angry at their inherent recklessness.