Gods of Egypt (2016)

Posted on March 3, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Alex Proyas’ latest genre effort has come under a lot of fire mainly for reasons of whitewashing, but after viewing “Gods of Egypt,” it’s no more a white washed endeavor than Harryhausen’s “Clash of the Titans,” or “Ben Hur.” When taken at face value and appreciated as a fantastic take on the mythology, “Gods of Egypt” is an entertaining and engrossing experience, and one I would have had a good time with during a quick Sunday matinee. Proyas constructs an interesting world and I wanted to see how the events would ultimately unfold in what becomes an unlikely buddy action film centered on a God and a mortal finding their own revenge against another God seeking immortality.

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Prehysteria! 2 (1994)

Posted on February 19, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Like every studio, Moonbeam and Charles Band were seeking their fortune with their own version of “Home Alone” that would bring in the big bucks. With sub-par efforts like “Remote,” there was also the “Prehysteria!” movies which always featured the owners of a foursome of miniature dinosaurs battling evil grown ups of some kind. Set immediately after the original, the foursome of dinosaurs now live with their new family The Taylors in the green house. Seeking to have their chance to feast on the family’s large crop of raisins, they’re accidentally scooped in to a large crate and sent off for shipping by local farmers. Luckily, they’re discovered by bratty but lonely rich boy Brendan, who befriends the miniature dinosaurs, and tries to keep them a secret from his mean house keeper Miss Whitney.

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Deadpool (2016)

Posted on February 16, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Superhero movie fatigue, my balls.

“Deadpool” is proof positive that the comic book movie is alive and well and prone to various iterations of the comic book movie mold beyond capes, tights, and bat ears. “Deadpool” is one of the most anti of anti-heroes ever conceived. He’s a man who works for any side that’s appealing to him, and you can never quite pin down whether he should be a friend or foe. Wilson like Marvel comrades The Punisher and Iron Man are never villainous, but also not the clean cut superheroes we’d expect. In the end, Wilson is about self gratification, even though he tells himself that his intentions are pure. He’s a man who loves being vile and obnoxious. Even Wade Wilson during the opening of “Deadpool” explicitly states that he is by no means a hero, and we’re given extensive insight in to how he lived his life before he became the “merc with the mouth.”

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Beat Street (1984)

Posted on February 16, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

I liken “Beat Street” to “Saturday Night Fever” in where both films, set in the Bronx, feature very talented youths with troubled home lives trying to fulfill their promise and chase the American dream. While “Beat Street” is nowhere near as timeless as the former film, director Stan Lathan’s drama is an entertaining, if exaggerated look at life in the Bronx, and the culture that would eventually die with the decade. The film produced by Harry Belafonte doesn’t have the same committee constructed, consumer pandering aesthetic that the “Step Up” movies do. But for all intents and purposes it tend to shine the light on actual minorities living in the Bronx, some of whom can barely make rent, but still drive themselves on their love for their work.

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Beach Babes From Beyond (1993)

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

“Whoa! You’re beach babes from beyond.”
“You bet your ass, man.”

I’m a big fan of David DeCoteau’s early work with Charles Band and Full Moon, but with “Beach Babes from Beyond,” I might have finally found something of his I really dislike. It’s a nineties softcore skin flick (from Band’s softcore label Torchlight Entertainment) that feels like an eighties science fiction comedy. And when I say that it’s softcore, I mean soft. The sex scenes don’t really look like two people have sex so much as they resemble two naked people trying to climb over one another to get in to bed. Not that it matters, since there are only about three sex scenes and they’re not the highlight of the movie, mysteriously.

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Total Recall (2012)

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Colin Farrell is back again as an odd choice for action hero playing “Average Joe” Douglas Quaid. He is a factory worker who helps produce police bots for his world that has been divided in to two separate factions. The remaining world that has survived chemical war fare are living on various levels, all controlled by the government. Douglas’ world remains a stink hole lower class existence until he arrives at Rekall, anxious to install artificial memories in to his brain for the sake of amusement. Upon implanting a fantasy in his mind, Quaid learns he is really a super spy, and now Chancellor Cohaagen who is slowly rising to power, is after him. Along with him and his army of robotic police, there’s Doug’s smoking hot wife Lori, who is revealed to be a skilled assassin who is driven to kill Douglas at all costs.

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