“Christian Mingle” and its main character Gwyneth in a nutshell: “I’m a successful and ambitious woman, a quality that completely turns men off. So to attract someone I’m going to lie about everything that I am and submit myself to subservience and relinquish everything I worked for! That’ll get me a guy!”
Granted, Lacey Chabert is adorable, but she’s just so much better than what this propaganda fest entails.
You would think in a time where films like “Blackenstein” and “Dr Black, and Mr, Hyde,” that “Blacula” would be one of the worst blaxploitation titles of its time. Despite the title, “Blacula” is actually one of the strongest vampire films of all time, and one of the creepiest of its sub-genre. “Blacula” is a tragic character drawn a victim to his blood lust who begins turning everyone in to his spawn when he finds himself alive in the twentieth century, and it’s a shock to see such an entertaining movie arise from a concept spun off from Count Dracula.
Jess Franco’s vampire film genuinely doesn’t live up to the hype it’s garnered with horror and film buffs over the decades since its release. It’s a tedious and often dull affair that manages to numb the sexuality due to its incessant filler. The filler is ever present from the opening shots, and is used to pad the film’s run time, from performances in front of crowds, right down to dream sequences, much of it is used as a tactic to pad a thinly veiled “Dracula” remake.
Spring is a hard to describe movie, it’s a love story, a finding yourself story, and a horror story, but most importantly, it’s a fantastic, touching story. It follows Evan in the events after his mother’s death when he starts in a downward spiral, flees the country, and after some travelling, decides to stay in a small Italian town and gets a job. One of the factors pushing his decision to stay, may it be conscious or not, is his meeting with the beautiful and mysterious Louise. Very quickly, Evan starts falling for Louise, but for her everything is not as it may seem. Telling anymore of the story would be making a disservice to anyone seeing it after reading this.
The Robert Englund starring “Phantom of the Opera” is a mix between “Darkman,” the original “Phantom of the Opera,” with a hint of “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Like the aforementioned film, Englund’s character thrives in dreams, and sports a nasty pizza face that is only slightly darker than Krueger. It’s almost as if Krueger was pulled in to our world, and found a way to live among the mortals through various false faces. Christine Day is an opera singer trying out for a brand new musical, and decides to sing a mythical piece of music called “Don Juan Triumphant.” While performing, she’s knocked unconscious by a falling light that drops her like a bag of rice, and she awakens in ancient times.
Don’t you hate it when you hit your head in a fit of rage and end up in Sherwood forest with a bunch of hot buxom women? In all honesty, I’d love that, but surely enough in Surrender Cinema’s “Virgins of Sherwood Forest” you can expect it to happen. One of my favorite erotic stars of all time, Gabriella Hall, plays Roberta, a female director for a music video has to tolerate a bunch of obnoxious sex starved actors.
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Director David O. Selznick’s civil war drama epic about an upscale socialite is one of the many cinematic masterpieces I’m not very fond of. Visually, it’s a stunning work of art, with sweeping splashes of bold colors that help to establish the power of the love for the South, and character Scarlet O’Hara’s ability to take from her beloved land to rebuild her empire. But underneath the gloss and brilliance of the cinematography, “Gone with the Wind” really doesn’t garner much of a complex narrative beneath its seams, relying on very unlikable and vapid characters that serves their purpose all too well. While they could really complete a story about the inner turmoil of the wealthy in the war torn South, the characters of Scarlett and Rhett really offer nothing interesting to the narrative, and most of the interesting tidbits are handed over to character Mammy.