As Joe Bob Briggs once stated, it’s telling of Tobe Hooper’s groundbreaking horror classic that to this day, conservatives still use the 1974 grindhouse slasher as a means of expressing how films are corrupting society. Because even so many decades after its initial release, there’s never been anything like it in theaters. No other film has managed to infuriate movie critics and analysts as Hooper’s vile and detestable horror film that depicts the back woods of the South as a futile wasteland filled with death, dread, and grime. Hooper pretty much set the bar high in terms of how harrowing the horror genre could be in cinemas, and “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is still such a visceral experience to behold.
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Thirsty (2009)
Deep down I know I shouldn’t have enjoyed “Thirsty” so much and that’s mainly because the premise is so simplistic and absurd that it’s tough to take seriously at all. But that’s the intent behind “Thirsty.” It’s a free for all of absurd comedy and dark fantasy that keeps viewers entertained all the way through. And as a short film it knows when to stop the joke and thankfully the screenwriters know when to quit while they’re ahead. Joe Lynch plays the hopelessly over the top protagonist Joe, a young man on the road during a heat wave who manages to get on the bad side of a gas station attendant when he mouths off to him.
Tangled (2010)
“Tangled” may not be from Pixar, but I’m of the opinion that it deserves as much love as a Pixar film from Disney does. Because as a film that hasn’t been animated from the famous sub-company, it’s surely a breathtaking absolutely imaginative fairy tale that conquers the Rapunzel and adds its own post-modern twist. Though I was initially horrified that this would be a simple “Shrek” clone, “Tangled” is very much in touch with Disney’s sensibilities. It’s more a fairy tale than a comedy and really plays on fate and destiny like traditional Disney tales than trying to hurl self aware comedy at us every single second the film plays. “Tangled” takes a rather boring story and adds a twist to it by offering up more in depth characters and plays on coincidence teaming together two lovelorn selfish individuals and giving them a reason to care for someone else outside of their own needs. That’s what “Tangled” is essentially about: two people who find something to care for beyond themselves and the tangled mess that occurs when they decide to compromise and help one another.
The Thing (2011)
In director John Carpenter’s masterpiece of contemporary horror cinema entitled “The Thing,” we’re told that not only is the beast of the film weak, thus forced to take on the shape and form of humanity, but it also acts as an independent species. So while we think we may be seeing one monster, there’s an off chance this thing is really multiple organisms struggling for survival by hiding in our skin. There’s no one true thing in the Carpenter film, possibly multiple or even dozens of monsters hiding in our skins that we’re killing off one by one who continue regenerating. The wholly unnecessary “The Thing” now in 2011, completely shatters such a thesis by informing us that yes there’s one thing, and yes, this is what it looks like. Within the first fifteen minutes of the film.
The Three Musketeers (2011)
You can usually tell when you’re watching a Paul WS Anderson film. For one, you can often hear him salivating at the presence of his wife Milla Jovovich, an untalented waif of a woman who Anderson persists in turning in to an action star, placing her on the highest of pedestals. And secondly, most of the best fight scenes are filtered through some of the most painful slow motion imaginable. I’m still not sure what Anderson fetishizes more at the end of the day, Milla or slow motion, but surely enough he revisits both corners with his re-working of “The Three Musketeers.” Anyone expecting a sophisticated, adult, and masterful adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas novel will have to wait a lot longer as Anderson is mostly content with subjecting audiences to a brutally infantile and wholly bland version of one of the greatest stories of all time.
The Tree of Life (2011)
Back in 2011, there were rumblings of audience members in attendance of “The Tree of Life” screenings who were asking for their money back. Primarily because they didn’t understand the film. Sitting here I can safely say that this movie isn’t for everyone. It’s a thinking man’s picture, an existentialists dream, a study in to the nature of our universe and what we view as world’s colliding and collapsing in on themselves. I couldn’t understand what was so difficult to comprehend with “The Tree of Life.” It’s a film about the crisis of faith, pure and simple.
To kako – Stin epohi ton iroon (Evil – In the Time of Heroes) (2009)
When last we met our heroes from “Evil,” they were stranded in the middle of a futbol stadium looking for an escape helicopter rumored to be able to take them to a safe haven. Instead they were met with nothing and found themselves in the middle of a field surrounded by wall to wall walking dead. According to this film, they survived this hopeless battle and are now on the move to learn more about this dread zombie apocalypse. Never has there been such a scattered and hopelessly awful sequel than “Evil: In the Time of Heroes.” While the original was no masterpiece, it at least strived to bring us something of an interesting and intense zombie picture that practiced the formula of the modern zombie films with a twist on the supernatural.