Rosemary’s Baby (2014)

Posted on May 19, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

There’s a challenge presented with the quasi-remake/new adaptation of the Ira Levin novel “Rosemary’s Baby.” The Roman Polanski masterpiece has been seen by everyone, and it’s been remade and copied a hundred times over by studios since its initial release, and is still being remade unofficially. So how can “Rosemary’s Baby” seem fresh in this day and age? The writers and Lionsgate go about it the wrong way, obviously. They over sexualize, over stylize, and remove any and all themes of feminist repression from the source material. It’s also what made the original Polanski film such a biting horror film. Even in 2014. It was a woman seeking independence and doomed to motherhood by a cult who’d bred the son of Satan through her.

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Captain America (1979)

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Oh Reb Brown, where would cinema be without you? Without Brown, we wouldn’t have had the 1979 Television movie “Captain America,” a movie so inept, it can’t even mimic Evel Knievel well. Brown is Steve Rogers for some reason, who came back from the war, and now drives around in a very kick ass van that also sports his favorite motorcycle. He’s a an ex-Marine/surfer/artist/motorcycle racer who also happens to be involved with a scientist developing a new formula for super strength (with the acronym F.L.A.G.), so while he’s helping develop a potentially groundbreaking formula for humanity, he is constantly moping around about the war and his lack of money. The sad fact is that the serum can only work for the Rogers blood line. Why? Because it’s a Captain America movie.

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Musical Chairs (2014)

Posted on March 21, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

“Cheer Up. You’re Alive.”

While Susan Seidelman’s musical drama is contrived and formulaic, it gets a free pass mainly for being such a charming romance that at least tries to break its predictability. “Musical Chairs” is the celebration of dance, despite physical disabilities, all the while focusing on a couple that find love through their hardships and their passion for the dance floor. It’s very interesting that “Musical Chairs” really dodges the more conventional aspects of films of this ilk, and also seems to strive for more diversity in characters beyond skin color.

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Alien Arsenal (1999)

Posted on February 21, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Once again David DeCouteau and Charles Band re-invent “Laserblast” for a new audience. The wretched original is once again re-conditioned in to a teen friendly adventure in the vein of “Power Rangers,” and it’s an apparent attempt to market on the audience. The movie is silly and often makes no sense, but I do tend to miss the old days when Full Moon and Charles Band attempted to appeal to children and teenagers. Ralph and cute Tomboy Baxter are nerds in their school, both of whom spend their time riffing on science fiction and being picked on for reasons I have tough time fathoming. Truth be told, they don’t stand out really.

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Stan Lee’s Mighty 7 (2014)

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Stan Lee is asked by Archie Comics to create a comic book for them. Just his luck, Stan Lee runs across a group of Marvel clones that happen to be aliens from another galaxy with their own sets of powers and abilities. Stan Lee narrates the tale of Stan Lee in which Lee plays Stan Lee who is looking for an idea for a comic. Just his luck Stan Lee comes across the idea for his new series when he decides to help a bunch of space cops and their prisoners escape US authorities. Though Stan Lee plays himself as the main character, he’s really there to lend exposition to a clunky story, and inspire awe on the audience for a bunch of half baked heroes and villains.

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The Powerpuff Girls: Dance Pantsed (2014)

Posted on January 27, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

I’m surprised Cartoon Network decided to remake and bring back the “Powerpuff Girls.” After their infamous statements in 2013 that their cartoons are aimed for boys and boys only, I’m not too sure what the reasoning is behind bringing back their very entertaining series about the three heroic young girls fighting crime in Townsville. I know, it’s all about the dollar at the end. They want money, and will only invest in series that make money. But when they basically told girls to go bake cookies, and stop watching the network last year, “Powerpuff Girls” is an odd show to re-invent and bring back for a new generation. I almost expected “Foster’s Home” or “Johnny Bravo” to be their target remakes.

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Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Posted on December 27, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

It’s really tough to find anyone these days capable of turning a novelty song in to a great film. Not that there’s a need for it, mind you. But still, back in the days Rankin Bass took some great Christmas music and turned them in to classic movies that are still watched today. The last movie we had was “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.” And somehow a beloved matriarch being trampled to death by an animal doesn’t inspire the jollies in me.

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