I was debating which movie to review this week. Normally, I always have a few titles floating merrily in the back of my mind. However, more often than not, I don’t write anything about them because they just don’t speak to me. They don’t stand out. A movie really needs to go that extra mile, and either be a lot better or a lot worse than I expected, in order to elicit a passionate need to discuss it in me. So I was in a bit of a pickle. I just couldn’t think of anything really worthwhile to review. Then, last week, my friend brought Clint Eastwood’s 1977 Cop Thriller THE GAUNTLET to Bad Movie Monday and I knew as soon as the end credits started rolling that this was the movie I was going to write about. Good God Almighty.
Yearly Archives: 2023
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023) [Fantastic Fest 2023]
This is the third adaptation of Stephen Kng’s “Pet Sematary” and we’re still not in that area where King’s story is remotely interesting or comprehensible. Never really confirming if “Bloodlines” is a prequel to the book or to the movie, Lindsey Anderson Beer’s is a confusing, lethargic and often grotesque horror drama that never has any idea what kind of movie it wants to be. It has eighty five minutes to unfold the narrative of Jud Crandall and despite the implications that Jud had seen a lot of horrifying disturbing imagery in his lifetime, we’re given a dull glorified remake of “Deathdream.”
Spooktacular! (2023) [Fantastic Fest 2023]
Director Quinn Monahan’s history of “SpookyWorld” is perhaps one of the most wholesome horror documentaries that I’ve ever seen. That’s by no means a slight, but it’s a wonderful testament to the often pure and unbridled passion that the horror community is capable of. I regret to admit that in all my time I never actually heard of “SpookyWorld” but it’s one of the forefathers of the horror attraction. It set the template and the bar for other haunts and horror attractions in America and would manage to become one of the biggest, if not the biggest, Halloween theme park in the world.
So Unreal (2023) [Fantastic Fest 2023]
One of the most common adages in the modern age is that once upon a time we used to log on to the internet to escape reality. These days we now retreat in to reality to escape the internet. The internet and technology have become such an integral part of our everyday lives that most of us aren’t truly aware of how far tech and computers have been able to reach in to the very core of our everyday existence. What began as science fiction and cheesy fodder for movies became a prophetic over arching theme in pop culture and cinema. Artists and creators predicted not only our consumption of technology but the gradual control technology has had on our lives.
Enter the Clones of Bruce (2023) [Fantastic Fest 2023]
When Bruce Lee entered the international movie scene, he filled a hole in pop culture and cinema that Hollywood didn’t know it needed. After his unfortunate passing in 1974 at the height of his massive popularity, one of the darker chapters of filmmaking history began: the search for the new Bruce Lee. This gave way to a massive boom in a sub-genre now regarded as “Brucesploitation.” The mission by many studios in both Asia and Hollywood was to find someone, anyone, who even remotely resembled Bruce Lee to carry the torch and become the next money making star of kung fu cinema.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Director Brian Duffield’s science fiction home invasion film is a deceptively massive film. It’s simplistic in that it’s limited to a cast of mainly one person, and places the enormous crux of the dramatic weight on the shoulders of star Kaitlyn Dever. Thankfully Dever is more than up to the task, offering what is easily one of her best performances to date. Director Duffield mixes so many genres and sub-genres from home invasion, survival thriller, character-based drama, themes about grief and guilt, and extra terrestrials all colliding in an absolutely outstanding cinematic experience.
Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023)
It’s been almost fifteen years since there was a new “Spy Kids” installment and one of the last times Robert Rodriguez released a film in theaters (he’s apparently locked in to Netflix like Adam Sandler). Sadly, these days Robert Rodriguez seems more committed to delivering low budget kid accessible entertainment more than anything else, and “Spy Kids: Armageddon” allows him to kill two birds with one stone. Not only is he able to continue his line of mediocre family films, but he gets to revive his long stagnant action franchise for a new generation.
And the results are decidedly a mixed bag.