It’s not often that filmmakers strive to set themselves apart from what’s been widely embraced by the horror community and manage to properly redefine a subgenre. Before “Return of the Living Dead” fans accepted the walking dead shambled slowly toward you and ate flesh, but Dan O’Bannon transformed his zombies in to undead crack heads. Said undead crack heads bolted toward their prey like lightning, were devilishly clever, and craved human brains as a source of nourishment. Though “Return of the Living Dead” has a remarkable sense of humor and will inspire a lot of uneasy laughs from the audience, it’s through and through a creepy horror thriller about groups of people fending off undead monsters from every corner while trying to escape Kentucky as it’s ravaged by brain eating ghouls.
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
The Pack (2015) [Blu-Ray]
Once again, “The Pack” is another in a long line of modern horror films that feel as if they were once written for the late seventies. Nick Robertson’s horror thriller is a very stripped down and simplistic survival thriller that packs in enough excitement and suspense to compensate for the lack of plot. “The Pack” is a combination of a home invasion thriller, and a nature run amok movie, where a seemingly normal family of four is attacked by a pack of large black wolves that arrive out of the wilderness of the Australian outback one night. The wolves are large and powerful as well as relentless, making the fight for survival absolutely intense.
The Wilson family are going through their troubles, as dad Adam finds out their farm is about to be foreclosed on. This creates familial tension, especially with daughter Sophie who wants to move to the city and be among actual people for once. Suddenly the pack of wild wolves burst from the woods and begin terrorizing the family, causing them to look for a way out of their farm and in to civilization. This proves to be more difficult than they could ever imagine, since they have no radio contact with the outside world, and any efforts from local authorities to rescue them results in the wolves literally tearing apart anyone that enters the threshold. A good amount of “The Pack” is built around the family spread apart and looking for a way to outwit and outmatch the wolves.
Their hunger is insatiable making them vicious and powerful in their pursuit. Robertson films some really tight and intense moments of evasion, as the characters hide in corners and small rooms trying to stay as quiet as possible while they devise a route out of the farm without being mauled. Though the budget obviously keeps us from seeing a full on attack by the wolves every minute, director Robertson works well with the limitations, making the wolves feel almost supernatural at times. Many of the best moments feature our characters making wise moves while the deck is stacked against them with these fierce clever monsters, and I was rooting for this family until the very end.
Though the final scene is a bit goofy for its blatant way of leaving the door open for a follow up, “The Pack” is a very good survival thriller and one I could definitely re-watch. The blu-ray from Scream Factory and IFC Midnight features an eight minute “Making Of” focusing on the dogs in the film, and how they worked with them, along with typical interviews about working with the director. There’s also the original theatrical trailer.
Trekoff: The Motion Picture (2016)
For a second I thought “Trekoff” was going to be a grating experience, but eventually Justin Timpane’s documentary about Trek fandom eventually won me over big time. I may not be much of a “Star Trek” fan, but I know what it is to be a fan, and a fanatic, and all around geek for something so much, that you want to spend all your time involved with it. “Trekoff: The Motion Picture” is a documentary and partly live action tour film about the raunchy Star Trek podcast that has managed to build a loyal following of listeners. Hosts Justin Timpane and Alexia Poe have an infectious enthusiasm that drips off of the film and will win over anyone that has ever sacrificed or expressed love for a particular kind of fandom.
It also helps that Alexia Poe is kind of hot, but I digress. Timpane and Poe sought out to do a podcast that was different from the others, where they discuss “Star Trek,” and debate various captains all the while discussing who Alexia would sleep with, and why she’d let William Shatner give her a golden shower. Admittedly, the dick jokes get kind of tiresome, but “Trekoff” is still a breezy and raucous documentary that is devoted to the way Timpane and Poe celebrate their love for “Star Trek.” They do so with a lot of laughter, a ton of joy, and endless sexual innuendos and double entendres that their audience seems to love when they’re recording their podcast live.
While “Trekoff” doesn’t offer new or original insight in to the “Star Trek” fandom, the documentary succeeds in exploring the more surreal aspects of the fandom. As well we’re given keen insight in to how rabid hosts Timpane and Poe are for “Star Trek.” While they deliver endless sex jokes, and argue about who’d be better in bed Kirk or Picard, they seem to love the franchise, and get very emotional when the humor stops and their sincerity shines through. I wish we’d seen more of that quality, to be honest. That said, “Trekoff” is a charming, funny, and unusual documentary about fandom and love for “Star Trek” that I had a very good time with.
Now Available on DVD at Amazon, and on Amazon Prime Instant Video.
Batman v Superman: Extended Cut or Why You Can’t Pour Perfume on a Pig
Pearls. Again. Bruce Wayne’s origin. Again. Joe Chill. I’m presuming. Again. I can still hear the echoes of fan boys rejoicing that “Batman v Superman” wouldn’t be another origin story, and yet director Zack Snyder allows us the thirtieth origin of Bruce Wayne, all for the purpose of squeezing in Bruce muttering “Martha.” Which is his mother. And so a thousand memes were born.
Director Zack Snyder doesn’t allow us the benefit of young Superman or Clark Kent with his mother, also curiously named Martha, because that would make sense. Plus, Snyder never worked with Diane Lane or Kevin Costner. It would be funny though to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Lauren Cohan playing John and Martha Kent.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)
Richard Linklater is of the philosophy that life isn’t planned out or a sequence of fates colliding, and bad luck giving us misery. For him, life is a series of random events, major and minute that result in pure happiness or pure sadness. “Everybody Wants Some!!” is every bit the drama and comedy masterpiece that its predecessor “Dazed and Confused” was. Not only is it an amazing companion piece to his nineties comedy, but it’s also an examination at the turbulence of youth and how being young has a lot of surprising structure and pressures behind it that can often be so much worse than adults.
Its 1980, Texas, and three days before college. Freshman Jake arrives in his new dorm, preparing to share a house with a group of very rowdy guys. Like them, Jake is a baseball player intent on proving himself on the team. Before the school year begins, and daily practices start in an effort to mold the school’s only winning sports team, Jake is taken along with his team on a three day journey of parties, drinking, and beautiful women. Linklater, much like he did in “Dazed and Confused” follows around a group of young people as they navigate through life and use music and humor to connect with one another and find kindred spirits. Music is the life blood of Linklater’s movies.
If there is such a thing as a soul, music is as close as it gets to Linklater conveying what a soul is, and how crucial music can be to igniting it. Rather than focus on a group of teens at the beginning of the summer, Linklater now follows a group of young adults in their final days of the summer, before they have to accept adult responsibility and give up the carefree days of their teens. The future isn’t as bleak as it was in the finale of “Dazed of Confused,” but the film does act as a requiem to immaturity and just being young, before it all fades away in to careers, obligations, and old age. “Everybody Wants Some!!” is a subtle look at enjoying youth and bidding it a fond farewell, all set to a very random and chaotic comedy that unfolds in to one excellent piece of cinema.
Linklater doesn’t commit to plot twists, cheap deaths, goofy romance, or melodrama, and instead zeroes in on drawing a slew of truly engaging characters, all of whom are blind to race and class, and find a means of bonding three days before school. Like everyone in a Linklater film, they use music to keep each other at eye level, and Linklater celebrates the magic of music. Not only does the film have an incredible soundtrack, but the characters live and breath through whatever music is on in the background, from singing along to “Rapper’s Delight” in a crowded car (a scene that rivals the “Bohemian Rhapsody” scene in “Wayne’s World,” easily), to the group of baseball players seducing young women at a local club with disco music and pop.
Though many will argue that “Everybody Wants Some!!” has no narrative, Linklater’s wizardry is in the seemingly random events that devise bits and chunks of plot, narrative and themes about male bonding, competition, and the thrills summer can offer to anyone open to a new adventure. Like Linklater’s previous films, “Everybody Wants Some!!” is simple, and down to Earth in scope and vision, but brings with it an incredible series of rich and complex characters, wonderful conflict, and yet another bang up soundtrack. I really hope Linklater offers up another follow up to “Dazed and Confused,” completing an unofficial trilogy. Linklater is a mastermind of storytelling who understands youth, nostalgia, as well as seeing the world through a filter where music is the universal language.
You Have to See This! Hardbodies (1984)
Since the sixties were in vogue in the eighties, you could probably build an entire sub-genre of films based on and around beaches. There were so many films revolving around guys trying to get laid in and around beaches, or living in beach houses, that it’s surprising almost every studio thought they’d cash in on this concept. There was even the silly “Back to the Beach,” an all star eighties ode to the classic Frankie and Annette beach blanket bingo comedies. Talk about childhood favorites.
This time around, “Hardbodies” is set during the best beach in the world, where apparently almost every hot woman in America go to, to either roller skate, or scamper around with their friends. The beach is filled with gorgeous women otherwise known as “hardbodies” to the local men, and main character Scotty is apparently the head of the game which involves hunting for women and getting them in bed as often as he possibly can. Scotty, despite being sex hungry, is the hero of the film that transforms from sex comedy, to dramatic romance, to sex comedy again and again you’ll likely feel confused toward the finale.
Scotty is a slacker and ladies man who roams the beach with his best friend Rag looking to score with gorgeous women. They’re called “Hardbodies,” and he’s more than successful in bedding his fair share of beach bunnies. After being kicked out of his apartment by his ruthless landlord, Scotty luckily meets three middle aged men who hire him to get them in to hot parties and hook them up with as many gorgeous women as he can. All seems to be going well, but when Scotty begins falling for sexual conquest Kristi, he’s torn between endless one night stands, or being in his first real committed relationship.
Scotty is your typical smooth talking slacker from the eighties, who spends most of his time running around the beach and trying to talk women in to bed with him, along with his best friend. He is also a part of the beach’s patrol, so he’s in charge of throwing out riff raff and helping other people have a good time. He even craftily throws out a group of perverted losers by siccing a biker gang on hem.
Partying of course doesn’t do much for his lifestyle, as Scotty is about to be kicked out by a merciless landlord that is more than happy to kick him out on his butt. Just Scotty’s luck a trio of middle aged businessmen has moved in to a local beach house and wants to have a good time and are willing to hire Scotty for the chance at tail. Scotty begrudgingly agrees and spends a good portion of the movie trying his best to hook the trio of men up with gorgeous women, all of whom have some sort of motive for the swingers.
This involves a ton of montages of the men hitting on beach bunnies and often bungling in their attempts, and throwing a wild party that involves a large amount of topless shots and sexual innuendo that is quite entertaining. At one point Scotty invites a tall gorgeous aspiring model to meet an agent at the party, and despite her anger at his lie, he convinces her to go to his room and take pictures anyway. Soon enough a crowd of women are in Scotty’s room competing for photo ops, apparently for the chance to be featured in the dictionary next to the word “Gullible.”
You could sum up the movie in one simple sentence, but “Hardbodies” has a lot of plot to it, and a ton of sub-plots that the writers work hard to resolve with enough believability. Along with Scotty working with the trio of men to get them laid, he’s also committing to Kristi, an intended one night stand he begins falling in love with. He also tricks a female rock band in to playing his party and falls in to success when the band garners interest from a professional promoter.
There’s also a large amount of focus on one of the older men Ashby, who begins a raunchy affair with kinky Michelle (as played by the obscenely sexy Kristi Somers), that transforms in to a romance. Their sub-plot contributes to a lot of the better moments of “Hardbodies,” including her bouncing on him while he’s half asleep, and a very heavily implied oral sex scene.
One of the banner scenes involves Michelle challenging Ashby to keep playing his guitar while she commits to her “act,” resulting in a rather hilarious reaction from him as he struggles to finish his guitar melody. If that’s not enough there’s another fun sub-plot with Courtney Gains, who plays Scotty’s loyal best friend Rag. Rag is your typical eighties goofball best friend who spends most of the movie also trying to get laid, and eventually manages to win the heart of a woman.
“Hardbodies” goes off the rails mid-way in favor of Scotty’s fight to keep his relationship with new girlfriend Kristi. After constantly striking out and harassing a girl to the point of sexual assault, the leader of the middle aged trio Hunter, gets in to a fight with Scotty and makes a play for Kristi. Soon enough, Hunter and Scotty are at war with one another for Kristi’s heart, and Scotty begins striking back at the player with a series of carefully orchestrated pranks that do him in.
While the endless sub-plots set up do make “Hardbodies” needlessly crowded with story, it revels in its simple premise based around getting women naked as often as possible, and featuring a lot of “hardbodies” walking around for the camera. We also get some past storylines showing up in the goofy climax, involving the skuzz bag beach crashers from the first half of the movie. We even get an obligatory old woman fainting at the sight of her naked middle aged son posing for the women in the party.
As an added bonus there’s the liberal use of the original “Partytime” by 45 Grave.
There was apparently a “Hardbodies” sequel set in Greece, but since it was IMDB Bottom 100 fodder at one time, I doubt I’ll get to it any time soon. For pure 1980’s raunchy beach blanket nonsense, though, there’s at least 1984’s “Hardbodies.” You’d be a fool not to respect the film’s trademark hot rod water bed.
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)
Joseph Sargent’s action thriller is one of the best New York centered works of cinema ever produced. “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three” has maintained its powerful suspense and wonderful sense of humor forty two years after its release. It works so well thanks to its very diverse cast, all of whom offer up a very unique variety that works in favor of the film. You wouldn’t think Walter Matthau would be a solid protagonist in such a stern action film, but Matthau holds his own against the vicious and cold turns by Robert Shaw and Hector Elizondo.
Set over the course of one Summer day in New York City, four armed gunmen wearing disguises enter a 6 train headed Downtown. With the codenames Mr. Blue, Mr. Green, Mr. Grey, and Mr. Brown, the four men are picked up t various stops and proceed to take the train hostage. Packed with loaded submachine guns, they seize the train filled with seventeen passengers, and pack them in to one cart, taking control of the lone cart. Matthau plays Lieutenant Zachary Garber, a New York Transit Authority officer who is contacted by the leader Mr. Blue that they’ve taken the train hostage and are demanding a million dollars within one hour.
The catch is after an hour if the money fails to show up, they will begin murdering passengers every minute after. Robert Shaw is a scene stealer as the dead set and cold killer Blue, who makes it his mission to show how relentless he is, and how much control he holds over every element of the situation. Shaw works beautifully off of co-star Hector Elizondo as Grey, who is the group’s resident hot head, and begins clashing with Blue when he finds he isn’t working up to his satisfaction. Along the way there are a slew of interesting plot twists and dramatic turns, including the mention of an undercover officer hidden on the train among the passengers.
As well there’s the city working to come up with a million dollars before Blue begins murdering passengers left and right. Sargent’s “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three” is an absolute masterpiece; it’s briskly paced and kept on high energy, allowing a sense of urgency that will keep you hoping for the best, despite teeth clenching obstacles occasionally introducing themselves. Despite its real time narrative and fast pace, Sargent draws some truly engaging characters both heroes and villains alike, making the film a work of substance and an exciting experience.