Yudis’ film is fun. More fun than it has the right to be. And I suggest “Pervert!” for fans of Troma, horror, comedy, Sam Raimi, porn, Mary Carey, Russ Meyer, big breasts, sex, women, John Waters, big breasts, hot women, big breasts, good taste, and yes, big breasts. Did I enjoy “Pervert!” only on those terms? Yes. And what’s wrong with that? “Pervert!” is a film where you shut off the big brain, and let the little brain do its magic, and I can guarantee any red blooded hetero male, and or lesbian, will utterly enjoy the romps. Not to mention the shameless flaunting of sexy as hell Mary Carey as a trophy wife, Juliette Clarke as a very hot nurse, and Sally Jean as a Cuban antagonist with a wide smile, all of whom suffer the fate of the mysterious monster roaming the desert in search of… well, you’ll discover it for yourself.
Category Archives: Halloween Horror Month
Alien 51 (2004)
[In reference to our main character Cleo]
Randy: Does she seem a little off to you?
Officer: She’s hot, Randy. She can be as off as she wants.
It’s a pretty safe bet that “Alien 51” is quite possibly one of the worst science fiction monster movies I’ve ever seen. I challenge you to find something else so creatively impotent, so utterly derivative, and so nonsensical as the movie I spent ninety minutes drudging and fast-forwarding through. Nothing in this film makes the slightest lick of sense, and it’s clear that either the script was horribly done, or the directors lost so much money, they literally spent the second half simply winging it, coming up with a remaining plot that is so stupid. You know a movie is desperate when it’s biggest star is Heidi Fleiss, you know a movie is desperate when it boasts “Starring Heidi Fleiss”, and you know a movie is desperate when its big attempted draw-in was a has been model who appears as a mustache twirling villainess.
Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor) (2004)
And then when they said there’s no more original ideas, out comes “Nochnoy Dozor”. If you’re unfamiliar, “Nochnoy Dozor”–or “The Nightwatch”– it is a Russian fantasy epic, the first of a planned trilogy that just finished smashing box office records in Russia becoming the highest grossing film of all time there beating out “Spider-Man 2”. Though it’s not as if Russia is a Mecca for light-hearted epics, “The Nightwatch” has made quite an impact there, and will soon be released and then remade here in the US. Before the Hollywood butcher shop decided to hack their way in to a crappy remake, I decided to grab a hold of the original film, and I wasn’t disappointed.
The Batman vs. Dracula (2005)
“The Batman” is one of the only series featuring Batman that hasn’t been animated by the well known and widely accepted form of Bruce Timm’s design, and as a series it’s always been a very poor successor in simple fact that it’s only basically been invented to cash in on “Batman Begins”. The series was created and rushed in to premiere showing on the WB network months before “Batman Begins”. The series as a whole is terrible; it’s bland, lifeless, and often uneventful. “The Batman vs. Dracula” is the first animated film from the Batman franchise that didn’t feature artwork from Bruce Timm et al. But this isn’t the first time Batman and Dracula have crossed paths, any respectable comic fan knows that Batman and Dracula are pure rivals, and this makes the distinct hinting that this is the first time they’ve ever crossed paths.
Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
Potential filmmakers of America, or any country, listen up: If you’re going to make a vampire movie, show vampires, if you’re going to make a slasher movie, show some murders, and if you’re going to make a werewolf movie, show some actual fucking werewolves! I don’t care how you show them, just show them! Claymation, animated, bad CGI, anything, but if you’re going to promise us werewolves, give us werewolves! I can put up with bad acting, irritating characters, horrible direction, and a sloppy narrative, but when you have a rushed storyline that leads up to nothing, you best be prepared for a paddlin’. And lookin’ at my paddle? Oh, you best believe that’s a paddlin’.
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Soon will begin the long debate about which film is better “The Devil’s Rejects” or “HO1K”. I’m all for “The Devil’s Rejects”. What this has over the first film is basically everything from characterization, a fascinating plotline, and most of all a coherent narrative that was severely lacking in its predecessor. The first film was the mark of a fan boy who was more concerned with paying homage to his favorite movies than telling a story, but ultimately “The Devil’s Rejects” is the redemption of that fan boy as he finally gives the audience a competent story with excellent action.
Ring of Darkness (2004)
If anything, “Ring of Darkness” finally confirms my seven year long suspicions, that boy bands are really satanic flesh-eating zombies. I’ve known it since N’Sync burst on to the scene, I mean how else can you explain the popularity- however fleeting–of Justin Timberlake? I figured they were either demons or gay. The film begins with an Abercrombie and Fitch looking young man attempting to escape under the cover of the late evening. He escapes through a window–but not before putting on his platinum medallion–and is cornered by four shadowy figures and killed. “Ring of Darkness”–whatever the hell that title means–is a possible sign that the “reality” craze has actually seeped on to movies.