Fine, Nikki Leigh. I’ll marry you. You don’t have to seduce me with your eyes. Surely, no one can replace Mistress Elvira, but Full Moon Grindhouse puts up a good argument for it, by bringing along Playboy Playmate Nikki Leigh to host their newest compilation. Now available for fans of Grindhouse and exploitation cinema, “Blood of 1,000 Virgins” is a fun and hilarious trailer compilation of some of the most iconic and dumbest films ever made. And they’re all about virgins, losing your virginity, and rape.
“Witch of Deadwood” is an animated short film very much in the tradition of Bakshi and fantasy works from Tolkien, where it’s easily accessible to all ages. “Witch of Deadwood” is a peak in to a very dangerous and complex world that is brought to life with rich animation by Raymond Kosta, along with wonderful direction by Larry Longstreth. Short but sweet, “Witch of Deadwood” is set on a family of dwarves traveling through a harrowing wooded area.
I’m hesitant to bash anything Jason Statham is in, because I truly hope he continues delivering in solid adult action and thriller vehicles, and doesn’t resort to starring as a disgruntled babysitter in a family vehicle alongside some Disney moppet. In either case, while Statham is always a scene stealer, “Crank: High Voltage” is garbage. And not entertaining garbage like the first film, but garbage that should never have existed.
There is nothing worse than a slasher movie that takes forever to get going. Directors Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells build a film almost two hours long that takes thirty minutes to really get in motion. I’m not averse to watching hot girls jiggle around and play in pools, but you have to give us something more if you’re not going to directly begin hacking characters to death. “Girls Gone Dead” doesn’t enter in to its actual plot until thirty minutes. The first half hour is nothing but filler and bad exposition. Save for a funny cameo from Linnea Quigley, the first half hour easily could have been cut or truncated for pacing.
