I really enjoyed the little segments involving the crows trying to outwit the scarecrow. Their obsession with getting past the scarecrow that they’re convinced is following them since he’s in every corn field, is pretty funny. Andre Benjamin and Thomas Haden Church do a bang up job with voice work, and it’s a very good bright spot for the film. The mismatched friendship between a pig and a spider is touching, only because this spider is keeping this runt of a pig from dying. What makes “Charlotte’s Web” works, even in this sub-par form, is the ability for these two individuals to find friendship in spite of their differences.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Horror Business (2005)
I love horror movies. I love them so much that it hurts me. I love them so much I feel an ache in the pit of my stomach whenever I just think about coming upon a brand new horror film waiting to be watched. And Garetano loves them, too. But he also has a cynical sense of humor about making horror films. Being a film critic for almost ten years now has educated me. Every film I’ve been sent from aspiring filmmakers who make a horror film and fail to entertain, I hold a deep sense of sympathy for them. Because making films and making horror films aren’t easy. “Horror Business” is a great horror movie documentary about making horror movies.
And it’s about how making horror movies can suck the life out of you. Garetano spotlights some of the most relentless independent horror filmmakers, including the director of one of my personal favorites, “Zombie Honeymoon.” What Garetano conveys is that horror filmmaking, while being essentially filmmaking, is a completely different art form. It’s difficult to scare people, and be a unique voice in the genre, and Garetano explores the feelings and frustrations of these filmmakers as they try to make a film that they believe will be great. And these men have a lot of insight to shed for the audience, as they discuss their thoughts on why we love horror films, and why horror films are so popular these days.
Filmmaking, like writing, is a way of life for these individuals who seek to release all aggression and express themselves, and it’s easy to connect to their desires to want to be seen and heard. And even appreciated. Hell, Garetano even touches upon these filmmakers basic frustrations that horror fans have been singing for years. Why remake a movie when you have thousands of great filmmakers waiting to express their own unique voice? Remakes are for money purposes, and the directors here talk of their inability to be pleased by anything new in the modern film era. The feeling is well expressed among many horror fans these days.
The best way to gain a perspective of film, talk to the actual struggling filmmakers and Garetano really shows how many people will die for their love of horror films, and filmmaking. Film, like any artistic medium can ruin its creator, and “Horror Business” explores that statement perfectly. Garetano really exemplifies the filmmaker’s struggles in film, and creates what is one of the best horror documentaries I’ve ever seen. You can’t receive proper insight about filmmaking unless you talk to actual struggling filmmakers, and Garetano gets it right; “Horror Business” is a film you have to see if you’re a horror buff, or someone thinking about making a serious horror movie.
Gangs of the Dead (Last Rites) (2006)
“Put on some news, I wanna hear about dead muthafuckas out there eating cops like it’s a barbecue!”
Yo son, check dis son, I’m from da Bronx son, and I just finished watching “Gangs of the Dead.” See, what makes “Gangs of the Dead” so clever is because it’s a double entendre, son. It ain’t just gangs of the dead, it’s gangs, as in groups of the dead. So it’s clever and not as stupid as y’all think. So I sat here wit ma forty, and laughed ma nuts off, while firing off ma glock. Naw, son, word is bond, I’m sick of zombie movies, son. The zombies in here, they all look like nothing but filthy hobos and alcoholics you see under the bridge in da streets. And wouldn’t you know it, now we got a bunch of black stereotypes being haunted by those flesh eating bastards, and I sit here trying to think of a reason not to turn ma glock on my head… son.
Flock of Dodos: The Evolution-Intelligent Design Circus (2006)
As an atheist and proponent of evolution, it really chaps my hide that a ludicrous fictional tale such as Intelligent Design would be created, and attempt to be accepted. What intelligent design is by sheer proof is the cowardice of Creationists. It’s a “theory” that was built to seem like science when really all it is, is creationism with a few pretty science terms thrown in for respectability. And what’s humorous is that creationists who shun science and evolution would invent a “theory” that reverts to science immediately. It all comes back to science.
The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)
So, why was this such an easy film to review, and like? Because hell, I’ve been through situations very similar to this. Trying to get by, almost being thrown into the streets, being forced to watch parents suffer to ease their children’s. I’ve seen it all. And in the end of the film, it’s still a situation that’s happening to thousands all over the world. “The Pursuit of Happyness” is an admirable every man tale about the working man’s attempts not to make it big in the world, but in his attempts to just get by. Smith plays Chris Gardner with a lot of gusto offering up a truly solid performance.
American Pastime (2007)
I’m always grateful of films that manage to use its cast of actors for their talents and not the pigeonholes they’ve had put upon them. “American Pastime” is one of the few movies I’ve seen in years that uses its Asian American cast to provide some strong performances, and not fight mystic martial arts of some kind. There’s always talk of African Americans being used poorly in America, but the most suppressed race in the film medium are the Asian Americans. “American Pastime” brings out a strong turn out from its cast of seasoned veterans exploring the plight of the Asian Americans during Pearl Harbor, and many established families being forced to live in Internment camps.
Wicked Little Things (2006)
Of course, if you’re looking for something new or original, you’d better look elsewhere. “Wicked Little Things” offers the same old things for the audience, and none of it is ever pleasing. You mean there’s a ghost that can communicate with the youngest daughter? You mean the youngest daughter is the only one that can see her special ghost? You mean, they’re moving into a small town up in the middle of the woods? Who actually does that beyond cults? And, what a surprise, the cell phones the characters own aren’t working, there isn’t help for miles and miles, there are newspaper clippings of missing children plastered all over walls, there’s a hillbilly local station manager, and of course there’s the young child attune to the supernatural, and the older child that’s rebellious and smart mouthed; how utterly original.