Elizabethtown (2005)

Posted on April 19, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

I always try to give my favorite directors the benefit of the doubt. Regardless of their work, I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. What’s so wrong about a dude who met a chick, and the chick helped the dude learn how to live his life, and now the dude has a different outlook on life than the dude before him? Nothing. Nothing! I’ve been that dude, I’ve met that chick, and I say more, Cameron, more, dude! Cameron Crowe is not all about the pimple dick man being helped by a strong woman, it’s a young man learning about life from a special woman. I love that. As for Kirsten Dunst, the melon head is an actress I rather enjoy. In her high points, and utter low points, the woman is easy to look at, and easy to endure.

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Bad News Bears (2005)

Posted on April 18, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Well, I guess every director has to have one film that’s commercial to grant them enough dough to get them through the rough times. Even one of my favorite directors of all time, Richard Linklater. It’s not that Linklater can’t do a commercial film, because “School of Rock” was great, but this is a remake. And Linklater is better than this. He’s ten times better. And he can make all the excuses he wants, but I’m still shocked the same man who created “Waking Life” was behind the camera of this remake. As usual, Linklater doesn’t do what others do. In other words, he never makes a film as everyone assumes he is. Sure, this is a remake, but this is a kick in the balls remake, just like the original was a kick in the balls kid’s film. There’s profanity, crude humor, sexual innuendos, and Billy Bob Joe Bob Thorton channels “Bad Santa” for his variation of Buttermaker. And I was pleased.

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Trouble with Men and Women (2003)

Posted on April 17, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Okay, so last month, I finally saw “London.” I mean, I’d heard from folks that it was an awful and grueling movie to sit through, but sometimes you just have to experience it. There’s something in us that, even though we’re told being stung by a bee hurts, inspires us to seek out that bee and have that experience. It was the same thing with “London.” People were talking endlessly about this film that was utterly awful, and yet I sought it out. And it still stings. Suffice it to say, “London” was an awful and dreadful relationship drama that sought out to be such an edgy glance at romance between two fuck-ups.

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Grindhouse (2007)

Posted on April 16, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Let’s face it fair readers, I was born in the wrong era. While I’m living in the time of cell phones and reality television, I should be living in the time of grind houses, and porno theaters. While I’m in a time of Kelly Clarkson, I should be in a time of Donna Summer. Simply put, I wish I was born during another time. But, you have to admit, Tarantino and Rodriguez got what they wanted. They wanted to create the grind house experience, and that’s exactly what I received. A double feature, scratchy film, and an empty theater. It’s me and my family, and about four other people, and no one got the joke. Continue reading →

Who's Ma Ma! Joe Ma Ma! (2007)

Posted on April 16, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Sean J.S. Jourdan seems to have a knack for perfectly pinning humanity in all its chinks and warts, and that’s a true talent. Not many directors can properly capture the human tragedy and when it comes along, it has to be appreciated. “Who’s Ma Ma!” is a short documentary about a simple family of men who have endured horrible tragedies in their lives and yet—they still stagger on.

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Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia (1977)

Posted on April 15, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Ilsa and the great Dyanne Thorne are at it once again, this time in the sub-zero wastelands of Siberia. Ilsa is once again untouched and hardly a day old from her time as a World War II concentration camp owner, and grooming harem girls. Now, with LaFleur’s often sloppy direction, she helps run a labor camp in the forests of Siberia teamed with a group of violent soldiers, a cannibal tiger, and plenty of snow. Ilsa is once again the devil in sheep’s clothing, the egomaniacal merciless monster that dispenses of men in her own ways. She bashes their heads in, lets them be eaten alive by her pet tiger, and uses them as toys leaving them in the snow to freeze to death. Unlike “Haremkeeper for the Oil Shieks,” this sequel is a much better entry.

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Switchblade Sisters (1975)

Posted on April 13, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

All these years I was pretty sure that there’d never be another gangster movie that equaled “The Warriors” in terms of pure atmosphere and grit. And then I saw “Switchblade Sisters.” Sure, it’s not as good as “The Warriors,” but it makes a damn good argument of equaling it in quality. “Switchblade Sisters” is a hard film to dislike. I’m not going to claim it’s the perfect gangster movie, but watching a bunch of tough broads fighting off prison wardens is still as exciting as watching The Warriors battle The Lizzies. It’s past its time, sure, but it’s also aged pretty damn well. The gung-ho corniness, colorful characters, and unflinching bad-ass attitude are just so damn entertaining, and Hill is never apologetic about displaying this film as a fantasy, that’s also acceptably outlandish.

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