Allegedly one of the many influences for Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” series, “Thriller” or “They Called her One Eye” is an awfully uneasy and chilling bit of savagery involving one of the primary themes for grind house cinema: Victimizing. Like many before and after it, we watch a simple girl terrorized by corrupt and violent forces that drive her to the brink of violence and revenge in a hail of blood and bullets. Sure, thanks to many of its fans, “Thriller” is hardly a rare movie anymore, nor are reviews of it hard to come by, but where else will you find my own wry commentary?
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
An Open Door (2006)
Yet again, I was sure I had this film pegged from the get go. It’s a wife struggling to hold on to her husband. Of course. It’s heartbreaking and tragic, but that’s life. And then director Jourdan completely and utterly sideswiped me, and I was breath taken. I admit that. What “An Open Door” is is an utterly gut wrenching display of a woman who simply can’t let some things go. It’s going to be very difficult to review this without giving some things away. The surprise plot twist is utterly fantastic and hard to sit through, but what “An Open Door” is is the portrait of the human psyche and its refusal to sometimes admit to certain things.
TMNT (2007)
Michelangelo: I have nightmares about birthday parties…
I’ll happily admit this again and again, “TMNT” was one of my most anticipated movies of 2007. Because whether I say it or not, the Ninja Turtles were just a big part of my youth. And they’re a franchise I consistently trail back to and enjoy. I loved the original movie, loved the animated series and hell, I even dug the 2003 animated series. Remember that period when they were a rock band? I digress. This franchise is not without its hitches, as every franchise is, but “TMNT” was a step in the right direction. Computer animation, great cast, and bringing the turtles back to the dark without abandoning their major audience. I’m assuming you know the story of the turtles by now, so I’ll segue into the review.
Mirrormask (2005)
“Dreams only get you so far. And then you need cash.”
When “Pan’s Labyrinth” was released last year, it was shortly compared to “Mirrormask” the basic story of a dreamy young girl who is pulled into a fantasy world. Gaiman’s fantasy masterpiece sadly only experienced a limited release in the US with a quick DVD release that fooled many in to thinking it was another ho-hum fantasy installment vying for classic status, but if you look for it it’s a basically incredible and understated bit of cinematic fantasy fare only Gaiman could have delivered. But thankfully that comparison to Del Toro’s film was very short lived. In the end, I prefer “Pan’s Labyrinth” but that’s not to say “Mirrormask” isn’t without its sheer strengths.
Shrek 2 (2004)
The question always is: was there really a need for a sequel? The answer is no, but when there’s money to be made, Hollywood will do anything to make sure there’s another film no matter how pointless, or awful if it’s mildly successful. I liked “Shrek”, I thought it was a one of a kind animated comedy that was actually funny. Then I watched “Shrek 2” and was appropriately disappointed. I went in to this movie with a lot of optimism because I liked the original film so much, but this was just a lagging effort, and it becomes painfully clear within thirty minutes in this movie that the producers and all the stars got big fat pay raises to come back for this.
Undiscovered (2005)
So by the logic present here, if you take a picture with a huge star, you will, in effect, become one yourself. Wondering what the hell this movie is? You’re not alone. It’s not a big coincidence “Undiscovered” has been undiscovered by almost every movie goer in America. It’s a piece of crap. Pure and simple. I mean, can you really expect quality from a film that’s relied on a steady campaign of “It stars Ashlee Simpson” to get the word out about the production? Yes, “Undiscovered” is a horrible movie, and for many reasons. But one of the reasons is that it’s so utterly insulting, even as a fairytale of stardom.
Stan Lee Presents: The Condor (2007)
What Stan Lee has basically done here is create his very own Spider-Man. With the Condor, we have a basically privileged young man whose life is really in need of a boost. When his parents die, he is rendered basically crippled after being attacked, and becomes a superhero. One that talks the villains to death to piss them off. The Condor is basically the equivalent of the Spider-Man rogue Rocket Racer with a mixture of that lame superhero from the nineties: MANTIS.