Amazing Stories: The Movie (1987)

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For many years, I was unaware that “Amazing Stories” was actually a Television series, albeit one that came and went like a lightning bolt. I didn’t discover “Amazing Stories” was first a TV show until the early nineties, and just wanted more fantastic tales of wonder from Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis. Before then “Amazing Stories” was just a really entertaining and incredible anthology film that mixed horror, fantasy, and comedy together in one great package. “Amazing Stories: The Movie” is two segments from the TV show paired together as a movie. There are apparently various versions of “The Movie,” one of which had three segments and was only released internationally. I was lucky that “the movie” I saw played on local TV stations in New York when I was a child, and featured two great segments from the series. So my introduction to Robert Zemeckis began with “Amazing Stories: The Movie.”

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Arachnophobia (1990)

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arachnophobiaIf you’re going to name your movie “Arachnophobia,” your movie should embrace its title wholesale, and surely enough Frank Marshall‘s film does a hundred times over. “Arachnophobia” garners a creepy story, interesting characters, a very scary dilemma, but mostly it’s an endurance test on how much you can stand to watch poisonous spiders creep in and out of every nook and cranny without keeling over in fright. “Arachnophobia,” in any other decade, would be a B monster movie focusing on the frights of the lurking arachnids that are dominating this small town, and director Frank Marshall plays them up well, closing in on the predators as they steam roll through innocent individuals.

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Brainscan (1994)

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Is it any wonder we don’t have a “Brainscan” movie series by now? Twenty years later, and John Flynn’s horror mystery is still just ninety minutes of absolutely nothing. It’s bereft of scares, tension, and suspense, lacks any kind of interesting characterization, the villainous trickster is a bland pandering horror character that can barely muster up a shiver, and in the end the entire movie is hell bent on demonizing video games and video gamers. If you love killing in video games, odds are you’ll love killing in reality? I had to sit through just endless nonsensical crap for such sanctimonious finger wagging to the audience?

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Hold That Ghost (1941)

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holdthatghost“Hold That Ghost” is one of the best horror comedy romps featuring Abbott and Costello and a very close second to their more well known outing involving famous Universal monsters. And while it’s not the masterpiece that their outing with Frankenstein and Dracula is, it’s a damn respectable horror comedy with a great tribute to “The Cat and the Canary.” If that’s not enough, Lou Costello is given a great female foil in the form of Joan Davis, who is a blast playing off of Costello’s ace physical comedy with her own double takes and unabashed slapstick.

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Bride of the Monster (1955)

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bride-monsterThis is the story of a man, his giant, and an Octopus. And the man’s experiments involving kidnapping people and turning them in to—something. I think giants. Let’s go with giants. Said doctor also has a fondness for his giant octopus which, whenever he decides to leave his lab, comes across the octopus that seems to gleam at him from behind his glass. The doctor often smiles and waxes poetic about his friend that he hopes will never murder him in a shallow pool of cold swamp water. The thing I like about Ed Wood’s movies is that his villains just aren’t very smart.

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The Gorilla (1939)

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thegorilla1939I admit I’ve never been familiar with the comedy of the Ritz Brothers before. I just happened upon “The Gorilla” one night and couldn’t stop laughing while watching the comedy team happen upon Bela Lugosi. I’ve read from some that this isn’t their best comic output. If this is them at their weakest, I’m excited to see what their best is. “The Gorilla” is a public domain horror comedy that can literally be seen anywhere, from DVD, VHS, or Youtube, and I was able to watch one of the five copies available on the site for this review. Suffice it to say, I still find the 1939 horror comedy quite hilarious.

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Vampirella (1996)

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It’s hard to believe almost twenty years ago, the height of superhero movies was “Batman & Robin” with studios not really clamoring to adapt any of the beloved superheroes. It took “Blade” to finally bring some tooth and maturity to the entire sub-genre. One of the more interesting precursors to “Blade” is the dreadfully boring vampire adaptation “Vampirella,” which is a tonally confused take on the pulpy pin up character mostly known for being beautiful and sexy, and not so much for her compelling story lines. “Vampirella” is never sure if it’s campy horror schlock, exploitative vampire softcore, or a stern horror epic. So director Jim Wynorski pretty much lunges for all three on the table, and comes out with this pretty gloomy and dull film.

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