Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

f13th-the-new-blood

It’s Jason vs. the eighties version of Carrie White. Because… why the hell not, right? At this point the Paramount series had just about run out of ideas for characters. Tommy Jarvis imprisoned Jason in his underwater chamber doomed to float for all eternity, and there was really nowhere left to go from here. It’s almost like the ending of “H20.” Laurie Strode chopped Michael’s head off. The end! But is it? Yeah, it is. Oh really? No. No it’s not. Aw hell, let’s squeeze another sequel out of our corn holes! I need a new Porsche!

Continue reading

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark [Paperback]

o-SCARY-STORIES

“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out. The worms play pinochle on your snout.”

When I was in fourth grade, my school had their yearly book fair. It was a time where kids could go to a large class room where Scholastic Books would litter the entire room with their merchandise for prices ranging anywhere from 25 cents to ten dollars. Of course when I spotted “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark,” I snatched it up and re-read it at least five times. Which is saying something for a kid who, at that age, took every possible excuse to not read. Alvin Schwartz’s book is one of the first introductions to horror and urban folklore. And judging by the many other nineties kids, Mr. Schwartz’s book was a source of horrific inspiration for them, as well.

Continue reading

Dead Before Dawn 3D (2012)

DBD

Watching “Dead Before Dawn” try to be funny is like going in to a third rate haunted house in the sticks on Halloween. It’s nice you’re trying really hard, but you really aren’t doing what you intend to. “Dead Before Dawn” tries to be many things, and one of them is a comedy. While it did elicit genuine laughs from me sporadically it manages to miss more than it hits. In fact by the end, the joke went on almost way too long. I was pretty relieved it ended or else I was afraid I’d begin to hate it.

Continue reading

The Amityville Horror Trilogy [Blu-ray]

amityville-horror-trilogy

One of the most widely publicized and infamous hauntings in American history that ended up being one of the most widely publicized hoaxes of all time resulted in an acclaimed novel, and a cinematic adaptation. Said film ended up garnering nine sequels, and one remake, all of which are infamous for being either very bad, or immensely silly horror entries. However, there is a charm there for horror fans that love supernatural cinema, and for those that love the “Amityville” series, Scream Factory allows fans to pick up the first trilogy in a Blu-ray box set just in time for Halloween. Some horror fans prefer to think of the first three films as the true Amityville Horror arc, and it’s available with the original cover art for the films in tact.

Continue reading

The Top 10 “Big Bang Theory” Guest Stars (So Far)

Big-bang-theory-excelsior-acquisition-stan-lee

CBS’s juggernaut sitcom “The Big Bang Theory” is currently running in to its seventh year on television and shows little signs of slowing down, with smash ratings, and a humongous fan base. The series has been a consistent source of guest stars for fan boys and science fans across the country with some of the funniest and most surprising appearances from folks like Levar Burton to Neil Degrasse Tyson. Here are ten of our Top Ten Guest Stars of the series, so far.

Continue reading

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Movie_poster_the_little_mermaid

Though it’s often thought of as the film that helped revive the animated film boom from Disney in the nineties, predating a string of hit films from the studio, “The Little Mermaid” is much like “Bambi.” It has amazing animation, and a wonderful soundtrack, but in the narrative frame, it’s unspectacular. While the former film garnered a nearly non-existent storyline with a simple resolution stretched in to ninety minutes, “The Little Mermaid” has almost nothing in the way of reasoning or logic for its heroine’s motives toward happiness.

Continue reading

Heisenberg’s Road to Hell: Final Thoughts on “Breaking Bad”

Breaking-Bad-Season-Five-Banner

In the earlier seasons of “Breaking Bad,” Walter White is watching “Scarface” with his son Walt Jr. and loving every minute of it. “Scarface” is of course about a young Cuban immigrant who found power and rose to it, only to lose the love and respect of his wife and little sister. Tony Montana is nothing but a dry husk of a man who goes down gunning, and dies face first in his fountain. As Walter White ascended to power from Mr. White the meth cooker, to Heisenberg the blue meth kingpin, we saw that gradual rise to supremacy and the immediate fall from grace.

Continue reading