Masters of Horror: Right to Die

I’ll buy that Superman can not be recognized as Clark Kent once he flips his S Curl, I’ll buy that Peter Parker can reveal himself to a crowded train and not be sold out by someone interested in making money, and hell, I’ll even buy that there’s some appeal in MTV, but I admittedly had a hard time buying that our character would trade his utterly gorgeous wife in for a run of the mill redheaded nurse who only sought out to cash in on him. But alas, “Right to Die” is a very good episode in spite of that lapse in logic. Martin Donovan (who you may remember from “Weeds”), is a man who has just witnessed his wife be burned alive after a horrible car accident and now is forced to face the consequences of such an incident. Burned from head toe, and comatose, Cliff struggles to fight off his mother in law who is attempting to keep him from pulling the plug on his wife, and after horrible dreams of her burned body coming to wreak havoc on him, he’s beginning to think his in-laws are not the only people he’ll have to battle.

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Aquaman: The Pilot You’ve (Probably) Never Seen!

It’s very rare that cult classics become cult classics on one episode only. Surely, shows have become cult favorites with one season; there was “Firefly”, “Freaks and Geeks”, and “Brisco County”, but on one episode? I can’t think of too many series like that. “Aquaman” has become a cult classic not because of its quality, but because of curiosity. Curiosity not from comic book fans only, but from fans of “Smallville”, and the public whom enjoy kitschy entertainment. And sure, some people have managed to enjoy it. Okay a lot of people. But is it for the right reasons? First called “Mercy Reef” (taking off on the “Smallville” formula), then called “Aqua” and now called simply “Aquaman”, this series was an attempt to spin off from the popular guest stint of Aquaman on the “Smallville” series. The CW changed the series from “Mercy Reef” to the blunt “Aquaman” mainly because Aquaman just doesn’t hold the clout Superman does, and many people consider the character quite lame.

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Children of Men (2006)

Forget cannibalistic freaks on a hill, forget a stranger calling, forget a torture house in Eastern Europe, forget a chainsaw bearing monster, two of the scariest movies of 2006 were, without a doubt “When the Levees Broke,” and “Children of Men.” Why? Because both films present the utterly realistic and utterly possible events that will occur, should a natural catastrophe ever shake up the world. What makes “Children of Men” both a masterpiece and probably one of the most horrifying movies of the year is the fact that mass infertility, with the change of climates, evolution, and rising population, is possible, and likely to happen.

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Jackass: Number Two (2006)

MV5BNzgzNDYyOTcxNl5BMl5BanBBam: I’d rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river, than do that again.

It’s no big new flash, and not a shock that “Jackass” and everything about it, has never been a favorite of mine. I despised the show, despise the talentless asses involved in it, and I loathed the first film. Say whatever you want about me, but I just don’t get what the appeal is about this series. I’m curious when stupid chic became so popular, and why “Jackass” is consistently popular. I just don’t get it, I admit that. But then again, “Jackass: Number Two” had me near tears the entire time. Shocked? You know you are. Close your mouth and keep reading.

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Howl's Moving Castle (Hauru no ugoku shiro) (2004)

howl-Young_Sophie-big

“Howl’s Moving Castle” is probably one of the weaker entries from Miyazaki. Miyazaki’s films have one thing for them that you can not deny. Originality. “Howl’s Moving Castle” is original, and it’s brutally entertaining, and that’s why I enjoyed this very much. Sure, I was watching the American dubbing (accidental, give me a break), but “Howl’s Moving Castle” possesses more unique fantasy elements and plot progression that really kept me in awe constantly. A scarecrow that follows our heroine like a lovesick dog? An old dog that weighs a ton? A little boy who masquerades as an old man? And a heroine who turns into an elderly woman sporadically? You take a look at Miyazaki’s universe and you’re nothing short of breath taken the entire time.

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Night Skies (2007)

nightskies1b“Night Skies” is almost ninety minutes long. It falls short of that number by six minutes. Forty-seven minutes is the time it takes for our mysterious aliens to finally drop down on our hapless travelers and launch their attack. That’s almost eighty percent of the film we’re told is a horror/sci-fi movie. Supposedly based on the accounts of the original victims of this alien abduction, apparently, the writers felt that since the accounts of the supposed remaining victim of these alien abductions were possibly vague and unusable, filling the film up with over an hour of soap opera melodrama would have made for more quality entertainment. Fact is, Knyrim sets forth many plot devices and potential story elements and never pays off for the audience.

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Crimson (2007)

crimlong3Ah, good deeds. Don’t believe the hype folks. Sure it’s good for your karma, but it will inevitably come back to kick your ass every now and then. Have you ever heard the term “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished”? That’s the basic premise behind the short feature film from Richard Poche who builds his entire story around this chestnut that couldn’t prove any truer. “Crimson” is the story of women performing a good deed, and inevitably getting much more than they bargained for, and I have to tell you that I was admittedly excited upon viewing what Poche had to offer. And surely enough, Poche has an appealing visual style that makes “Crimson” a constantly vibrant production.

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