And there’s that adage that “The grass is always greener on the other side”, and when you break down that adage in bits and pieces, it’s not a one-liner about envy, it’s basically telling you, misery though we perceive it to be bliss, is still misery. And such is examined in the intelligent and engrossing twenty minute short from director Mitchell L. Cohen who seems to have channeled Richard Linklater down to his essence of simplicity.
Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns
I’ve never understood while watching this entry why anyone would want a film that makes people go violent, and a good film no less. I mean I’ve seen bad films that made me go violent–watch “Gigli” or “Battlefield Earth” and you’ll want to murder someone–but a good film? I don’t know. Either way, that’s the concern for John “As long as I get paid” Carpenter’s entry called “Cigarette Burns”. Norman Reedus plays Kirby, a film aficionado who has been sent by a millionaire (Udo Kier) to search for the infamous film “Le Fin Du Monde”, a film that made a reputation of itself after the first screening caused its audience to riot violently.
Ghosts of the Abyss (2003)
As if “Titanic” wasn’t worse enough, now we have to go back and re-visit it for what reason? Tell me, Mr. Cameron. He never explains to us why he’s documenting a voyage to the bottom of the sea to look at the Titanic yet again. My theory is that he’s still riding on the success from it so he milked this cow one last time, but what’s the point of this mission? Is someone going to study this and say “Yes, the titanic sure did sink after all, and even better People actually did die!” Well, thanks for reminding me, I wasn’t sure if the the titanic sinking was actually an event that happened in history or if it was fictional like the NASA launch.
Cold Mountain (2003)
“Cold Mountain” wants to be grand. Oh how Minghella wants it to be a grandiose civil war epic, this generation’s “Gone with the Wind”, but sadly, it will never reach those heights, and throughout the running time it never reached those heights because it is such a short-sighted piece of filmmaking, it could never reach the possible limits that Minghella wanted it to. After viewing this, it was plainly obvious this was so utterly manufactured for Oscar, it was nauseating. But “Cold Mountain” is not underwhelming because of that fact, it’s underwhelming simply because it’s so utterly short-sighted in its stories and characters.
Pooh's Heffalump Movie (2005)
I find it’s very hard to display any sense of malice or distaste for something like “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” which is so harmless and adorable in its presentation with simple animation and such an uncomplicated story. It’s the closest thing to quality for me that Disney’s created in years. Disney’s creativity and imagination has all but diminished over the years, except for when it applied to “Winnie the Pooh” and its many spin-offs. Though Christopher Robin is all but MIA in this film (appearing in the credits briefly), “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” is still a very entertaining and guilt-free story about friendship that often echoes “The Fox and the Hound” except less heartbreaking.
The United States of Leland (2003)
“Elephant”, a truly disturbing film examined teen murder, the ability of a person to pick up a weapon and murder another person whether justified or not, and continue to do so, and it examined it where none of it made any sense. “United States of Leland” examines that same concept, and though it’s the same basic approach, it’s still a pretty damn good film in the end. Is it so hard to believe that many times there’s just no reason for something bad that happens? For many people, it is. There has to be a reason for everything these days, and what’s most disturbing about this film is that basically there’s just no reason for murder sometimes.
Masters of Horror: Deer Woman
Don’t you hate it when Native American legends about man killing seductresses come true? I know I sure do. Director John Landis’ tale conquers that common American problem with a unabashedly cheesy, but still entertaining entry in to the “Masters of Horror” series that never takes itself seriously. As basically all of these stories, there’s a woman on the road killing travelers, truckers and any horny man that comes on to her, and these guys fall for her hook line and sinker. It’s not hard to buy the fact that these men fall for this female’s tricks since the actress Cinthia Moura is utterly hot, but it’s a wonder if these guys ever saw a noir film learning about femme fatales.