We are Cinema Crazed and We're Here to Talk about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Stuff! One! Two! Three! Four!

NOT SO LONG AGO IN THE MYSTERIOUS LAND OF NEW YORK, FELIX VASQUEZ JR. WROTE A SCOTT PILGRIM ARTICLE…

At this time I’m still trying to decide if I love or hate “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” for what it is. I am convinced years from now young kids will be declaring that Edgar Wright’s film is something of a cheer for their culture, a love letter to the nostalgia obsessed Canadian hipster society, but many will fail to realize or even admit that in reality this movie is a practical joke. Deep down while it looks like a celebration of our nostalgia obsessed technology based generation, Edgar Wright actually makes fun of people he purportedly appeals to with his 2010 action romance movie. While many have described it as a bright and colorful movie, it is actually the most cynical statement about our culture in years. Many won’t accept that or be willing to even admit it’s a possibility since Edgar Wright is a pop culture fanatic and has always hung around pop culture fanatics in his early years.

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Aiming at Nikita

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So far this is the third variation of the Luc Besson spy thriller masterpiece “La Femme Nikita,” and the more variations we see of it, the more the actual point of the premise is loss. We had “Point of No Return” a remake with Bridget Fonda I think I’d rather forget if only for being a piss poor adaptation of Besson’s film and for becoming a relatively obscure nineties fixture that put some nails in to Fonda’s career coffin. Then there was the basic cable spy thriller starring Peta Wilson that I really never bothered to watch mainly because it felt like a version of “Mission: Impossible,” and now there’s “Nikita.”

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Salt (2010)

url21I’m still trying to decide what about “Salt” annoyed me more, the goofy turn of events in the second half that had me gawking in sheer disbelief, or the insistence by the writers to include an ending that fades to black right in the middle of a big turn of events as if to leave a “To Be Continued” assuring audiences that there will be a sequel. Not only is this trend absolutely obnoxious (I pay to see whole movies, not parts of movies), but if there really is no sequel to “Salt” (god willing), then the entire closing scene is just a pointless wide open door left for us to presume what occurred after the writers decided we’d had enough story for now.

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Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

For the past four films, director Paul WS Anderson has taken what was once a very entertaining horror franchise and turned it in to a series of movies fetishizing his wife and doing nothing more than further his muse-like view on her. We nearly saw her naked in the first movie, she was a bad ass in the second, a goddess in the third movie, and in the fourth we’re given an army of Milla’s, presumably a concept Anderson got his jollies off of. That said “Afterlife” is a movie that continues to drag on this wasted concept and posit the question: Why is Umbrella continuing their research if about ninety-nine percent of the world consumed by hellfire and the walking dead? What do they further have to gain beyond being evil for the sake of being evil?

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Machete (2010)

Robert Rodriguez proves with “Machete” that his and Tarantino’s little experiment entitled “Grindhouse” was much more of a failure than fans originally suspected. While both of their original films were basic flops at the box-office, Rodriguez is given another shot with “Machete” a film that began life in popularity as a mock grindhouse trailer before “Planet Terror” and eventually became a feature length film. And much like most of Rodriguez’ films, he takes what could have been an amazing premise and turns it in to a scattered, confusing, and muddled piece of action cinema that throws a host of characters at the screen, all of whom he can barely keep up with at one time.

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The Losers (2010)

I’ve never actually read the graphic novel “The Losers” is based on and sometimes that’s a good thing, since a film adaptation tends to garner its own flavor and narrative path from its source material and that can be said for the film adaptation of “The Losers” a movie that doesn’t try for Oscar gold or even legendary status but instead tries to make us laugh and cheer about as much as humanly possible in the ninety minutes it greets us with an array of bad asses, each with their own skill, who have a bone to pick with their government. Like “The A-Team,” this group of soldiers were all framed for a crime they didn’t commit, and deemed dead after a failed assassination attempt, disband and lose touch.

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The A-Team (2010)

fHPhUGlOne of the benefits of “The A-Team” is that you can bask in the sheer idiocy of the story as most of the fans of the series did. Where in the original had four grown men in a black van storming through gates and beating people up, this one has a guy shooting from a tank dropping down to Earth and shooting down fighter planes. It also has a goofy 3D gag involving a truck that is pretty memorable. When all is said and done “The A-Team” doesn’t really want to re-invent the wheel, but instead just seeks to pay homage to the dumb original series that starred Mr. T and made him an eighties sensation.

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