Cinema Crazed's Top Movies of the Decade (2000-2009)

Personally I could care less who thinks when the decade ended or began. Many people are saying that the decade actually began in 2001 and ended in 2010, others are saying it began in 2000 and ended in 2009, while many are oddly insisting the decade began in 2000 and ended in 2011. I could care less who thinks what anymore. Since we basically missed the boat on posting our thoughts on our favorite movies of the decade back in December of 2009, we’ve decided to finally catch up and post our top films of the decade starting from 2000 and ending on 2009. That’s that. We’ve spent the last three months trying to figure out how to best voice our thoughts on our best films of the first decade of the millennium, and we figured we may as well just post our list embedded in one big article.

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Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2010…

With Cinema Crazed gaining more and more access in to the newest films every year, we were able to catch so many movies for 2010 and even with our incessant scramble to watch every possible title out there, we still didn’t have enough time to see it all. With our commitment to reviewing indies and cult cinema first and foremost, we don’t really have the material for these lists until November or December, and then it becomes a mad panic to watch as much as possible to compile this annual list.

Nevertheless, we saw more films in 2010 than in previous years, and many movies earned our spots. Others just didn’t. Many other titles just escaped our memory. So yes, these are lists of the best and worst movies that we’ve seen. Odds are there will be a movie from 2010 in mid-2011 we think should have been apart of the list, regretfully. As with every year we have some new categories, and we hope we inspire such rage in you that you’re able to find it in your heart to leave a vicious anonymous passive aggressive comment on Rotten Tomatoes for one of our reviews. That’s all we ask. Or be ballsy and email us. Come on, we dare you. Or if you’re feeling conversational, send us your own Top 10 and Worst 10 of 2010! We can likely begin a conversation that’s human and polite.

Pardon me while I have a strange interlude: “The King’s Speech” isn’t on any of these lists. The studio didn’t send screeners, it’s only playing in two theaters in New York, and we don’t have the time or effort to seek it out and risk being bored senseless. So forgive us for that. We’re sure it’s a fine movie about a stuttering king, honest. But… we didn’t have the time to find out.

On to the show!

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Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (2010)

batman_xxxI mean it when I say that “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody” is without a doubt one of the best pornos I’ve ever seen. And it’s also the best porn parody to date. The Adam West Batman show was always a series mired in strong overtones of sexuality. Even when appealing to children primarily, the show had a strong sexual element due to its creation which set it down in the free spirit, free loving decade of the sixties where sexual experimentation ran rampant, and the go go era bred a new awakening, experimentation and dabbling in areas of our sexuality we once deemed taboo. There was very little separation from “Batman” with “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” aside from the rampant drug use and boozing. Tonally, they were so incredibly similar with kinetic energy and dizzying color schemes.

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Nun of That (2009)

nunofthatpremtrailernewsI really should not have loved this as much as I did. In all honesty, I sat through “Nun of That” thinking I should rightfully despise every minute of this, but… I didn’t. In the end, “Nun of That” is a hilarious, action packed ode to nunsploitation and the grindhouse motif that fuels an otherwise ridiculous, over the top action bonanza. There’s a nun in a club stripping before she eliminates a full house of Italian stereotypes, a martial arts Jew assassin who chucks deadly Stars of David and a razor edged yarmulke, there’s Ghandi teaching Sister Wrath how to fight with demon ninjas, and there’s Jesus Christ who engages in a musical number that is shockingly memorable and catchy. All of which is played with deadpan insistence from its sharp cast who seem to truly enjoy being in this movie.

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Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)

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Director Joseph Guzman’s ode to the grindhouse devices of the seventies is an admirable and often times entertaining take on nunsploitation while also delving in the realms of sexploitation, and revenge fare. Ever since “Grindhouse” indie directors have constantly attempts to mimic the same gloss and nods Tarantino and Rodriguez strived for and–as I’ve seen–many indie directors have pulled it off. Some of them, like Guzman, do it even better than the alleged master filmmakers ever did. Because unlike the former pair, the indie directors have little to work with, and must rely on creativity where budget fails. “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” is not so much a nunsploitation film as it is a Southern fried take on Bo Arne Vibenius’ classic “Thriller a Cruel Picture.”

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The Karate Kid (2010)

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You could have called this “Fist of the East,” or “Test of Fortitude” and it would have grossed obscene amounts of money at the box-office, regardless. It’s a movie that is so meticulously built to appeal to audiences and tickle every emotion possible, that it’s so much more a marketing gimmick than it is an actual movie. Calling it “Karate Kid” is just the icing on the cake. Eighties exploitation is huge. There are currently dozens of overgrown men on the cusp of forty mourning the days of Rocky Balboa, and cassette tapes, still bawling about how the eighties were so much better that calling it “Karate Kid” was a bonafide ticket to box office gold. Plus Jaden Smith is Will Smith’s son, and Will Smith always equals big bucks.

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Logan (2012)

One of my soft spots whenever reviewing movies sent to us by indie filmmakers is fan films. It’s become a genre onto itself, and most times can be a platform for fan boys who happen to be creative filmmakers. That’s a lethal combination that can amount to a wonderful fan service you can’t get from Hollywood.

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