Panic Attack! (Ataque de pánico!) (2009)

Inspired by the online short film “Geweldenaren van Ver,” director Federico Alvarez’s short film (made under a five hundred dollar budget) is yet another tale of indie success that most independent directors can only dream of. Uruguayan director Alvarez posted this short film on Youtube back in 2009 and after the video was posted on rapper Kanye West’s blog, it garnered an immense fanbase, currently has over five million views on Youtube, and Alvarez experienced surprising success, “I uploaded Panic Attack! on a Thursday and on Monday my inbox was totally full of e-mails from Hollywood studios,” said Alvarez.

Now he’s been given a contract by Sam Raimi’s studio “Ghost House Pictures.”

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Terminator: Salvation (2009)

Trust me, if I were asked to watch McG’s treatment of the Terminator franchise I wouldn’t turn it down. Is it one of the best the franchise has ever offered? No. In fact it’s one of the lamest simply because it takes every advantage to flex its PG-13 rating and make sure that everyone but the humans suffer a wicked death. In this version every human is given a bloodless death by robots we’re assured are vicious, merciless, and willing to make their victims suffer a long and painful death. All ounce of suffering we’ve seen at the hands of the machines in previous films is bypassed in exchange for interchangeable special effects and ho-hum action sequences.

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The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

001372264r4I’ve either pretty much come to terms with the fact that Hollywood will remake anything, even the heavyweights of the film world. Or maybe I’m just too numb (and am coming down with Stockholm Syndrome) to care about treasured movies being given botched remakes. I should be angry, but I’m not. I came to terms with Hollywood’s xerox machine a long time ago. I instead have chosen to take modern remakes and look at them as their own entities, a copy that doesn’t necessarily have to stick to the original source material to be good. How do you remake a nearly seventy year old movie and stick in modern times? It can’t be too easy, and if you’ve seen this remake you’ll realize that most times it’s nearly impossible.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

The voice work for the transformers is as top notch as ever with Peter Cullen taking to the character with his usual skill as well as Hugo Weaving who is just great as Megatron. Despite my problems with the movie, the massive carnage is quite impressive along with the design of the Transformers themselves who help keep the film afloat at its lowest. Despite not being the worst movie of 2007, there’s no denying that “Transformers” was a clunky mess that had zero direction and almost little appeal beyond the target demographics: 1. People looking for robot smashing and 2. Megan Fox. Both of which were vastly over sold elements with little pay off, come the climax.

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Transmorphers: Fall of Man (2009)

transmorphers_fall_of_man_pTiny Juggernaut’s special effects are pretty good when compared to other indie productions and though it’s all mostly takes on the Transformers, the robot menaces are pretty sleek and cool to watch as they fuck shit up in civilization. I’m still not sure why we need an attack from a cell phone, but Tiny Juggernaut keeps the special effects standard and old school quite often. And who ever creates the one sheets over at The Asylum, I commend them on their artistic ability. If anything The Asylum is great for providing great cover art for their productions. I also enjoyed some of what director Wheeler brings to the screen. There’s even a really ominous sequence where our hero and heroine realize that the signal these robots have sent out just didn’t get intercepted and comets are falling to the sky with the alien menace in tow. It’s a great scene that is thankfully sold by star Shane Van Dyke’s shocked reaction.

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Metal Man (2008)

metalmanThe very fact that the producers and creators behind “Metal Man” made this film boggles my mind and leaves me stumped. Why they didn’t seek out the folks behind this “Iron Man” rip off is a missed opportunity to inform these companies to vie for original productions and not knock offs. I will give this to them, the people behind “Metal Man” are not the Asylum film studios. This messy amateur production relies on a metal suited hero named Metal Man whose color scheme is a red and yellowed armor that enables super abilities whenever he’s fighting crime.

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Wall-E (Single-disc Edition) (DVD): Widescreen Edition : Disney Eco-friendly Packaging

Before you start in on what the best movie of our year has been so far, I’ll just declare straight that “Wall E” may not only be the best movie of the year, but also one of the finest PIXAR has ever created. Intelligent and bold without alienating its target audience, “Wall E” is that movie that dwarves talking animals flicks blowing away the likes of chimps in space and a kung fu panda. “Wall E” is a magnificent global conscious adventure about the utterly adorable helper robot who doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to clean up what was once considered our home planet.

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