Stranded (1987)

stranded87

“What the hell is that?”
“I don’t know, but it’s got tits and a ray gun.”

I’d be lying if I said “Stranded” has aged well, but then I’d also be lying if I denied loving it mostly based on nostalgia. “Stranded” is a childhood favorite I recall borrowing a billion times from my cousin and loved every minute of it. Today it’s still a solid science fiction horror film, but one filled with flaws. Surely, it mixes “ET” with “The Desperate Hours,” but its charms are undeniable. And it’s tough to hate anything with Ione Skye. There’s just no arguing that.

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Darkman (1990): Collector’s Edition [Blu-ray]

Leave it to Sam Raimi to take lemons and make batshit crazy insane lemonade. Pulling a George Lucas, “Darkman” was once the efforts from Raimi to adapt “The Shadow” on the big screen. When that fell through, he created his own superhero, a demented horror oriented avenger named Darkman. And he’s about what you’d expect from the man who gave us Ashley Williams. Liam Neeson gives a very entertaining turn as Peyton Westlake, a scientist who becomes the unwitting victim of a mob scheme. After Peyton’s fiance Julie discovers a document that can incriminate her boss in his efforts to develop land over the deserted docks, Peyton is tortured by local mob boss Robert Durant’s gang and murdered.

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How to Build a Better Boy (2014)

How-to-Build

Disney seems to be having a good time mining the eighties lately with their original movies. First we had “Zapped!” which took the title from the raunchy eighties comedy along with a variation of the plot from “Love Potion No. 9,” while “How to…” is really just “Weird Science 3.0.” Except this time its PG rated, and much more based around feminism than misogyny. And rather than building on the entire “Frankenstein” idea, the writers set their sights on the US government surveillance and their plans to build a top secret robot that can infiltrate any setting.

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The Slave (1969) [Blu-ray/DVD]

It’s really tough to approach “The Slave” (also known as “Check To The Queen”) on a level where you would an average film. By all respects, Pasquale Festa Campanile’s drama is a unique and surreal drama based around a sadist-masochist relationship. For a long time I’d all but been convinced that “Secretary” was as good as film of this ilk got, but “The Slave” comes close to conquering this small sub-genre well. Pasquale Festa Campanile’s film is solely based around a young girl whose own lust for pain and humiliation is rivaled by her unusual obsession with her vanity.

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Similo (2014)

In a dying world how far would you go to keep the environment you loved? And more importantly, in a world where you’ve lost the only person you’ve loved, can you ever really get them back? Is it worth trying to pretend you’re still where you were decades ago, or isn’t it just easier to let go and accept your fate? “Similo” is a brilliant and beautifully directed science fiction short that uses the world our character Heve lives in as an allegory for the relationship she lost a long time ago.

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Blended (2014) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

“Blended” is part old school Adam Sandler and new school Adam Sandler. It has the same dumb, pointless, physical humor, with the modern “family is everything, you’re nothing if you’re single” sentimentality that’s permeated like self righteous stink through his later comedies. To make the affair even more grating he teams up with Drew “nails on a chalkboard” Barrymore for a third time. The cynical side of me thinks that they teamed up again to complete a trilogy of pairings for a potential special edition release of their comedies. But the obvious seems to be Sandler re-visiting the well hoping for another hit. It’s just sad that never translates in to memorable entertainment. “Blended’ is a family oriented dramedy that’s never original, nor does it pose any sense of Sandler thinking outside the box in his early films.

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The Dead 2 (2014) [Blu-Ray]

While I did enjoy “The Dead,” I also admit that it spooked me a bit, if only for the Ford Brothers’ ability to depict the walking dead as a truly horrifying, a talent that’s tough to accomplish with our current glut of zombie films dominating pop culture. “The Dead 2” isn’t a far departure, sticking to what made the first film such a success, while switching elements around to regard it as another chapter in the epic continent trotting tale of the zombie apocalypse. There still hasn’t been much of an explanation of the particulars of the zombie virus and where it originated, but that’s irrelevant once the dead are knocking down doors.

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