How do you take one of the more unique race car films from the seventies and destroy it? Remake it with a bland story, add a very adult cast of Nic Cage, Angelina Jolie, and Vinnie Jones, and slap a PG-13 rating on it. Also, turn it in to a lame ass action comedy, for extra insult to injury. “Gone in Sixty Seconds” from 2000 is an uneven and fairly tedious action comedy that has all the edge of a crime thriller, except it’s suitable for teenagers, a crowd that will appreciate director Dominic Sena’s insistence on imitating Michael Bay.
Category Archives: Grindhouse Review Fest
Repo Man (1984)
I sat watching Alex Cox’s “Repo Man” with a gaping mouth and sheer bewilderment from beginning to end. Director Cox assembles a slew of various sub-genres and sub-sub-genres, along with a seasoned cast of brilliant actors to concoct a surreal mind fuck that I was never bored by. In fact, I loved it right through to the very end. It’s existentialism, it’s social commentary, it’s punk rock, it’s action, it’s dark comedy, it’s comedy, it’s musical, it’s aliens, it’s crime, it’s a road trip movie, it’s a one of a kind anomaly with Emilio Estevez at his best.
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)
Our favorite transphobic slasher is back with a follow-up to the original shocker, and as suspected, “Unhappy Campers” fails to live up to the gasps that followed the original film’s surprise ending. There really are no other surprises we can derive from this premise anymore, so “Unhappy Campers” is a slasher comedy with such flimsy production quality, it’s actually very charming. How can you not enjoy Angela’s gallery of maimed corpses, most of whom can be seen breathing or struggling to keep still on close up shots? It’s a gas.
Nazithon: Decadence and Destruction (2013)
It’s nazisploitation this time around, as one of the two new Grindhouse Collections from Full Moon now sets its sights on the infamous sub-sub-genre of Nazisploitaiton and its wicked devices. For folks that love the compilations from Full Moon that were rare for a long time until being given deluxe releases on DVD in 2012, Full Moon and Grindhouse Flix have now released a brand new compilation. And it’s about those swastika donning fiends we know as the Nazis.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
John Carpenter takes Clint Eastwood from “Any Which Way But Loose” and drops him smack dab in to the middle of a chopsocky film. The results are not only ingenious, but entertaining, funny, and the movie many movie geeks adore known as “Big Trouble in Little China.” One of the many fish out of water films about inadvertent heroes stumbling in to an extraordinary situation, Carpenter turns to his veteran collaborator Kurt Russell to lead the charge. Even for a film made in 1986, “Big Trouble” is such a resonant and inherently clever film that it’s barely shown its age at all.
Director Carpenter inherently avoids any and all clues that we’re in the middle of the eighties, and brings us in to a time where we’re shifting in between a seventies trucker era, and mystical China. Kurt Russell has a blast the infinitely charming and dashing All American hero Jack Burton. He’s a drifter and lone wolf who happens to find a purpose in the middle of his humdrum life with his big rigs. When his best friend’s wife is kidnapped by a local Chinese gang for the intent of being sold to sex slavery, Jack and friend Wang intend to come to her rescue. In the midst of their mission, they find themselves in a tug of war between two Chinese gangs that have been battling for decades.
“Big Trouble” is never content with just being an action film, and reaches in to the depths of fantasy to deliver one hell of a surreal picture. Carpenter introduces the three magical warriors known as “The Three Storms,” all of whom are servants of the dreaded sorcerer Lo Pan, an evil snake of a man who wields his magic with long sharp nails and a Charlie Chan mustache. With the sacrifice of a beautiful green eyed girl, Lo Pan plans to break an ancient curse and make Wang’s hostage wife his new mate. Russell approaches the role in his usual charisma and charm, as a man who seems awestruck by the world he’s in, even when he’s in extreme danger.
But while Russell takes center stage, he’s more a spectator while director Carpenter allows the seasoned cast of Asian actors to stage the battle of good and evil, and the fight for the souls of their women. James Hong is fantastic as Lo Pan and Disappears in to the serpentine make up, while Dennis Dun and Victor Wong offer stand out performances as the heroic men who battle Lo Pan and his monsters. Much of the special effects still hold up well, since they’re not the primary focus of the film. Much of “Big Trouble” gives way to wonderful martial arts scenes and great choreography, paired with the sensibility of a classic movie serial that never takes itself seriously. “Big Trouble” is one of the many daring and wonky Carpenter films, and one of his few dark comedies that will provide action fans a good laugh, and fun action sequences alike.
It’s a shame we never saw a sequel with the continuing adventures of Jack Burton, but “Big Trouble” works as a stand alone classic that features John Carpenter at his best.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Director Wes Craven’s remake of “The Virgin Spring” often gets a lot of credit, not just for jump starting the grindhouse boom, but for being influential as a veritable violent film. Sadly, “Last House” is another of Wes Craven’s films that gets too much credit. While many will argue that “Last House” has to be considered for its time period, even in context, “Last House” is a piss poor horror film with terrible production qualities.
Hatchet III (2013)
Director Adam Green’s concept for a throwback to slashers has always been a good idea. In theory. Sadly Dark Sky Films has taken a one note concept for a serviceable slasher film and turned it in to a three film series that really didn’t need anymore than one movie. I’m still not in the thought process that the “Hatchet” films are the second coming of the slasher sub-genre, because while they have their audiences, slasher films are still pretty much just a sub-genre reserved for indie filmmakers at the moment. “Hatchet” has been a consistently repetitive and tedious series that really offers nothing new. Even with the casting of Danielle Harris as a replacement for the original lead, “Hatchet” still manages to be loud, redundant, and lacking in any genuine scares.


