Gutterballs (2008)

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Like every bit of film and music today, Ryan Nicholson’s “Gutterballs” is steeped heavily in the eighties with his slasher setting down in the decade while even the score and soundtrack take from it with shameless glee. And while normally that may be enough reason for me to dislike it, I found that his nostalgic placement made sense in the long run and only added to the camp. Nicholson’s slasher wants to be from the time where slashers were common cinematic fare, but sadly it’s just more of a wish than a reality.

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Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964)

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When “Two Thousand Maniacs!” arrived into the cult kingdom of the horror geek, Herschell Gordon Lewis’s horror comedy was an all out assault to Southern xenophobia and fanaticism, as well as a look at the vengeful spirit the South possessed if society continued to evolve from an Aryan aristocracy, to a melting pot of multi-racial ethics and politics. I mean, I’m sure there’s a vengeful spirit for almost anything, including pure evil, and Lewis’s horror comedy is a stripped down, low budget over the top horror film about the vicious unforgiving ghosts of the South who wreak havoc on outsiders that have evolved in the new world, punishing them for their decadence, sexuality, and freedom.

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Women in Cages (1971)

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9o7HlcAWf3avyxTYaN6ePErrRKKCarol Jeffries was just set up by her boyfriend, a drug dealer who makes her take the wrap for a massive drug deal he was involved in during an illegal cock fight. Carol, a vulnerable and innocent woman, has just found herself in a women’s pen in the middle of nowhere with vicious female criminals. And she has nowhere to go but down, baby. She’s forced to endure the tribulations of prison life involving psychotic roommates, horrible living conditions, and a violent matron named Alabama (Ms. Pam Grier, herself) who sleeps with all the prisoners, and punishes them with “The Playpen” when they refuse to abide by her sexual favors. Did I mention the drug dealers on the outside are trying to assassinate Carol to keep her mouth shut?

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Cannibal Ferox (1981)

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cannibal-ferox4Watching Ruggero Deodato’s “Cannibal Holocaust” was an experience that I still remember with fondness. I sat with the DVD in hand at my television with a pit in my stomach and prepared to finally view what is considered one of the most controversial and taboo films ever made. And I wasn’t disappointed. Watching “Cannibal Ferox” was a different experience altogether. Maybe it was because the movie is not as good as the aforementioned horror film, or maybe it’s because Umberto Lenzi approaches this horror flick from a sexploitation angle with sensual women ravaged by cannibals instead of the mock documentary style as Deodato’s film.

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The Dark (1979)

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thedark79Fortunate for me that I was born from parents who bought literally every VHS movie they could get their hands on in the heyday of the eighties. Fortunate for me that I was born from a woman who loves every horror movie ever made, and continues to love every horror movie ever made. Which is where my meeting with “The Dark” enters. Available on DVD and still pretty rare, “The Dark” is one of the most confusing hybrids of blaxploitation, science fiction, and horror I’ve ever seen with ambiguous plot devices, horrific performances, and the odd association with Dick Clark. Watching this on the same grainy discount VHS from Media Home Entertainment I first viewed it on fourteen years ago, “The Dark” has lost plenty of the oompf and suspense I remember it holding.

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The Devil Inside Her (1977)

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PDVD_001.20See, here is what I hate in porn: Artsy fartsy. Whenever a porno director convinces himself that he’s going to make something other than another stag movie and tries his hand at arthouse, it’s really annoying. Case in point: “The Devil Inside Her,” a mixture of Andy Warhol, Merchant-Ivory, and “The Crucible,” Zebedy Colt attempts an actual story in an hour, and fails with laughable results. To call this a pure monstrosity is an under statement, as every bit of direction and dialogue is painful, while even the hardcore porn is reduced to satire that fails to be even the slightest bit arousing.

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Hack/Slash & Suicide Girls: Murder Suicide

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HackSlashAnnualB“You should not dis internet boobies, yes?” – Vlad

Cassie Hack and the Suicide Girls go together like mud and naked women wrestling. It’s a perfect fit. Tim Seely’s quasi-Gothic angst ridden monster hunter has finally come across the group of Suicide Girls, alternative, punk rock web models who are absolutely beautiful and popular among enthusiasts of tasteful erotica. This cross promotional stint has been rather entertaining and “Murder Suicide” is no exception. At thirty seven pages, “Murder Suicide” is the right balance of comedy, horror, and memorable innovation that has made me a big fan of this franchise since it started.

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