11:14 (2003)

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Imagine “The Trouble with Harry” combined with “Go”, and then take those films and dump it in a pile of shit, and then you’d have “11:14”, an incredibly grueling experience with yet more episodic vignettes except dialed down with a B cast with the likes of Colin Hanks, Patrick Swayze, and Oscar Winner Hillary Swank. One of these things is not like the other… Either way, “11:14” wants to be considered Altmanesque, but really it’s just another “Pulp Fiction” redux, ensemble cast and all, except shitty. Shelved for three years, and finally released in 2005 to a DVD release, and then premiering late night on cable television was a a deserved fate for such a low brow utterly ridiculous ensemble picture as “11:14”.

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Sleepover (2004)

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In the age of Laguna Beach, Paris Hilton, American Idol, and MTV, we have yet another teen craporama further adding fuel to the fire influencing our youth of America that all that matters in life is beauty, style, fashion, style, beauty, and being defiant because it’s so damn lovable. Disobey your parents. Look beautiful and thin as a wafer. Care what people say about you. Such undertones and hidden messages can be found in trash like “Sleepover.” “Sleepover” declares such vapid sentiment loud and clear with underage girls without a brain, under age girls painted in makeup and wearing skimpy clothing because–hey it’s like totally cool.

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My Neighbor Totoro (Tonari No Totoro) (1988)

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You’ve probably read this in my Miyazaki reviews possibly a thousand times, and I know if you say something enough it loses its meaning, but, who gives a crap? Miyazaki is a genius. There’s nothing else I can say. Words in the human language can’t express how brilliant Miyazaki is. Should I apologize for repeating this over and over in every review? I wouldn’t have to if you ever saw a film from the director. “My Neighbor Totoro” is the pure essence of Miyazaki. A man with a true clutch on the child spirit and imagination. He knows children, he knows how to touch children’s core emotions, and he uses that to express his wildest machinations. “My Neighbor Totoro” is without a doubt one of the sweetest and most heartbreaking animated films I’ve ever seen. Bar none.

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March of the Penguins (2005)

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5152iChllMLThe title March of the Penguins really refers to the march of a large tribe of Emperor penguins focused on here that march to a nesting spot, attempt to breed, and then march back and forth finding food to feed the only babies that were able to survive the harsh cold. For those religious whom attempted to pin their ideologies upon this hit  documentary, they never really take in to consideration much of what happens here. Regardless though, “March of the Penguins”, the second highest grossing documentary of all time, basically has one objective to show the true nature of the penguin’s journey to pro-create. We see penguins marching, penguins surviving, penguins mating, and penguins attempting to have babies. Obviously that’s not just one objective, but it really does boil down to the purpose of the documentary.

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Cheerleader Nation

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Now, I for one don’t watch reality shows, mainly because: a. I’ve seen a lot of them at the beginning, and b. 99 percent of them really suck. I mean, really suck (that one percent is just a margin of error), and I very rarely ever sit down to watch a reality show. But as far as “Cheerleader Nation” goes, it’s not a bad show. Would I watch the entire season? Hell no, but from the episode I was given a chance to see, it’s tolerable enough to sit through. And, if for no other reason, watch it because it has cheerleaders. It’s awfully staged, pretty cheesy, there are your assorted mixed bag of characters including your stage moms, and your drama, but it’s also pretty fun, I’m ashamed to admit.

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Betty Blowtorch (And Her Amazing True Life Adventures) (2003)

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bettyblowtorchI’ve never heard of Betty Blowtorch before–and after hearing their music, I’m sad I haven’t. I should really start seeking out better bands than what the media hands me. Granted, I only listen to classic rock, but you get my point. “Betty Blowtorch” is quite possibly one of the best rock documentaries I’ve ever seen. It’s the classic tale of a rock band starting out, garnering a fan base, forming a friendship, their attempts at stardom, their inevitable grasp for it, and their imminent downfall thanks to outside sources. Most modern music documentaries prefer to profile bands that suck like They Might Be Giants, or All American Rejects, but this film profiles a band–who doesn’t suck like Paris Hilton in a porno–they’re called Betty Blowtorch, four hard rocking bitches that were a hybrid of KISS, The Runaways, and Motley Crue.

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Munich (2005)

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munichA man once said, “If you want peace, prepare for war”, but it’s without a doubt, no one ever retorted with “At what price?” Often times, war is rationalized by those who continue it and those who support it. Collateral Damage, Friendly Fire, and the like are terms used to further downplay the futility of war. I am not a pacifist by any definition of the word. I do not adhere to the mindset of such an ideal, but when it applies to “Munich” and the films ultimate pacifist message, I tend to agree with him and Kushner. “Munich” has been one of the most controversial films of 2005, and in the long run, of all time, and will have you stepping back to re-think not only the 1972 Munich tragedy, but war in general. Spielberg and Kushner through the events of 1972 use that as a template to express their feelings toward the modern world at war. Do the ends justify the means? Does going after terrorists end the war, or does it subject us to even more war?

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