If you were like me in 1992, a nine year old with a love for ninjas, then “3 Ninjas” was one of the most kick ass movies of the decade. I worshiped Bruce Lee, and watched “American Ninja” constantly, so John Turtletaub’s film hit all the right notes with a young lad such as myself. “3 Ninjas” is the product of a time where every single studio sought to cash in on the success of “Home Alone” by offering their own unique twists on the genre. This time rather than Kevin McAllister being a devious little boy with Jigsaw-like talents for making traps, the studio provides us with tween protagonists of varying ages that are also practicing ninjas. As a whole “3 Ninjas” isn’t a lot like “Home Alone,” save for mid-way when the movie’s narrative literally halts to present us with its own truncated version of “Home Alone.”
Star Kid (1997)
It’s such a shame we never got to see more of “Star Kid” down the road, as it had potential to break out in to its own kids franchise. Sure concepts like these are a dime a dozen these days, but “Star Kid” had a lot of interesting ideas behind it. It’s “The Guyver” meets “ET” with a hint of “Green Lantern” and I wouldn’t have minded seeing this idea explored with other alien species attempting to invade Earth, all the while exploring the larger abilities of this suit. “Star Kid” is one of those science fiction action films that came and went with barely a notice in 1997. I think it deserves a lot more credit for its ideas and great monsters.
TROMA’s War (1988) [Blu-Ray]
I would be lying if I said that “Troma’s War” is one of the best efforts from Troma. While it tries very hard to elicit some kind of political satire and tackle the idea of exploitation movies, it’s kind of a missed effort. Truth be told, “Troma’s War” is more of a chore to sit through than anything. It’s creative and a neat addition to a collection if you love Troma, but overall, it’s a loud, head ache inducing attempt at an action movie that can never quite put a finger on what it wants to be. It’s a disaster movie, a war movie, an action movie, an “Airplane!” style spoof, and then a political satire. It tries to roll all of these genre elements in to one frantic ball, but stumbles left and right with its intentions.
The Pumaman (1980)
Notorious for being mercilessly spoofed by MST3K in one of their best episodes, Alberto De Martino’s “The Pumaman” is an atrocious and pretty awful movie even without the riffing. It’s a movie that increases in quality, however minimal, thanks to the benefit of the trio from the Satellite of Love. It’s an arbitrarily titled Italian fantasy superhero movie about a man given a funky belt that allows him the qualities and powers of a puma. This involves leaping in the air to attack like a puma, slowing down his heart like a puma, uh—flying like a puma, teleporting… like a… puma…? And he even goes so far as donning a cheap excuse for a superhero costume that’s very un-puma like. If funky bellbottoms and a costume color scheme that looks like it was taken from the back of a cab is what you’d envision for a puma-esque (pumatic?) superhero, then this is up your alley.
Rollerball (1975)
The populace is obsessed with sports that thrive on violence and uniformity. The rich are generally oblivious to the outside world. Sports are corporate funded obsession based around putting its competitors to their limit. Civilization finds the obsession with celebrities more interesting than actual world issues, and the media manipulates the public through culture of competition. That is the stunningly familiar dystopian future presented in “Rollerball,” the future of 2018. Director Norman Jewison’s science fiction action film has a lot to say about the wide gap of social and class structures. As well it presents a grim glimpse at a corporate empire that results in a world much like today, where the media and culture is dominated by a single entity.
The Running Man (1987)
Beneath Paul Michael Glaser’s action film where Arnold Schwarzenegger takes on gimmicky athletes and ends every bout with a silly catchphrase, beats a movie that is quick as a whip and horrifyingly prophetic. Based on the Stephen King novel, “The Running Man” is simultaneously a vehicle for Schwarzenegger that also sneaks in a lot of commentary about society that would oddly enough come to completely fruiting by the mid to late aughts. “The Running Man” is based around a very popular and deadly reality show, steeped in a world where people risk their lives for cash and vacations for entertainment, and it’s all run by a mad man running a corporation. You can pretty much point that arrow to any one of the men running the world today.
The Bootleg Files: Garbo
BOOTLEG FILES 583: “Garbo” (1969 BBC documentary narrated by Joan Crawford).
LAST SEEN: An unauthorized posting is on YouTube.
AMERICAN HOME VIDEO: None.
REASON FOR BOOTLEG STATUS: Uncertain.
CHANCES OF SEEING A COMMERCIAL DVD RELEASE: It was announced for a 2005 release, but that never happened.
Around 1985, I was walking down First Avenue in New York City when I noticed an elderly woman coming down the street. I immediately recognized this woman – for many years, she had been the elusive object of tabloid photographers eager to snap her picture. I debated whether I should make any acknowledgement of her presence and decided that it would be best to allow her to maintain the legendary privacy associated with her name. And thus, in less than a New York minute, I had my encounter with Greta Garbo.