The Green Inferno (2015)

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You’d assume ten years in to one’s career that a filmmaker would begin to mature as a storyteller. But here we are in 2015, and Eli Roth is still telling the same story. A bunch of inept Americans go in to a foreign country and get brutally massacred. It’s the same xenophobic, sophomoric, silly slop that Roth’s been feeding audiences since “Hostel,” and he doesn’t seem intent on changing the formula any time soon. Roth at heart is still a fan boy stealing from his favorite horror movies, while directing tonally uneven and ridiculous schlock with the intent to shock first and foremost. Really, the intent is to shock and nothing else.

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Puppet Master 4: When Bad Puppets Turn Good (1993) [Blu-ray]

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As we saw from the chronological mythology that unfolded in the first half of the “Puppet Master” series, the puppets owned by Toulon were once kind and heroic. The puppets were the products of a man kind at heart, whose own lust for vengeance and hatred for the Nazis turned him evil. And in effect, he transformed his puppets in to evil beings that did his bidding. Toulon was once a nice man, and evil transformed him in to the villain we eventually met in “Puppet Master 2.” The third film, which is my favorite by far, features the origin of the puppets and how they were just beings living and doing their own thing until they found an inherent purpose in snuffing out the ugliness in humanity.

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#Horror (2015)

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Bullying is horrible, we all agree on this, at times it can lead to terrible consequences. In #horror, a story based on true events, first time writer and director Tara Subkoff shows what happens when the bullying of one girl by her rich friends goes too far. Here we are shown teen girls mercilessly taunting and verbally abusing each other over and over again. But it’s ok, because you laughed…

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La Belle et La Bête (2014)

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In this telling of the tale as old as time, Belle lives with her salesman father, three troublemaker brothers, and two greedy sisters. Belle prefers to lead a calmer, simpler life than her siblings. As her father’s business goes badly and her brother loses a lot of money gambling, the father becomes indebted to the Beast and so in a trade, Belle agrees to live with the Beast. Once at the castle, she is cared for by a group of tadums, fairy tale animals who look a bit like dogs. She is given all that she could need and more, she however, has to have dinner with the Beast every single night, which does not go well at first. With time and patience, Belle and the Beast become closer and closer.

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“Tales of Halloween” at the Digital Gym San Diego

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San Diego horror fans gather and listen.

We have a fantastic small independent movie theater called the Digital Gym Cinema on El Cajon Blvd in North Park. It’s small (46 seats), cozy, and it hosts some of the best horror films and events in the county.

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to attend their screening of Tales of Halloween presented by Horrible Imaginings and the Film Geeks.

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The Final Girls (2015)

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After her mother’s death, Max has difficulty re-adjusting to life without her. As she grieves, she’s invited to a screening of 80s slasher Camp Bloodbath in which her mother starred. Against what might be her better judgment, she decides to go with her friends. Once there, an incident pushes the group into the film itself, Last Action Hero style, where they face off with its masked baddie Billy Murphy and try to save themselves, the cast, and Max’s mother.

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Five Reasons “Saving Christmas” is the Best Movie in the History of the World

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Believe the hype. “Saving Christmas” is one of the most bafflingly awful movies ever made. And while I can kind of see the distorted logic behind making this kind of movie, nothing about it makes any kind of sense. Every time you think the movie almost understands where it’s heading, it just completely flies off the rails and injects some truly remarkable moments of lunacy. Star and producer Kirk Cameron is so sure that his movie will finally convince people that Christmas is Christian and only Christian that he begins the movie with a monologue about his agenda for the movie. There are only about five characters in the movie, including one really creepy Santa, and they’re all portrayed by a truly horrific cast of performers.

“Saving Christmas” is much too certain about itself to be considered satire, and often much too campy to be taken seriously. Kirk looks dead certain he knows more than anyone about religion and Christmas, and doesn’t mind flaunting it throughout the film, but then he literally ends the movie on our cast break dancing during a Christmas party. In a slow motion montage. Again, I’m almost certain it’s meant to be taken with a tongue in cheek, but I’d wager Cameron intended the climax to be taken seriously, much like the message behind “Saving Christmas.” The movie is much too baffling and surreal to trash it completely, so I just couldn’t help but itemize five observations about this oddity.

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