Warcraft (2016)

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Boy it’s been a bad year for fantasy cinema in America. Time and time again fantasy films have failed for the most part, and “Warcraft” is one of those casualties. I admittedly have no experience with “Warcraft,” but for those unaware, it’s based on a massive multiplayer role playing game that’s become so popular it’s almost a way of life for most people. It’s a game so terrifyingly addictive, that a cousin of mine even pulled me aside once warning me not to play lest I be sucked in. Now that their Orc world has died, the orc shaman Gul’dan has used dark magic to open up a portal to the human realm of Azeroth.

Once a peaceful land ruled by man, the Orc army known as The Horde, now plan to populate the world and rule over it as their new home led by the noble Orc warrior Durotan. Teamed with a female half Orc named Garona, the human army of Azeroth plan to go to war with them, led by fierce warrior Lothar, their King Llane, and two wizards. Events spiral out of control though when Durotan begins rethinking the invasion and their leader Gul’dan, while Garona is torn between her loyalties to the noble humans and her people. While I’m still convinced video games just won’t translate in to a good movie, “Warcraft” is still a very good time and a nice bit of escapism.

It’s a mess narrative wise, and is painfully convoluted, but often times I found myself very entertained and intrigued by the conflict of the Orc breed struggling to fight for a new world against a human race. There’s also the themes of religious corruption embedded within the giant walking statues and graphic war scenes, which probably also helped enhance the experience. I won’t argue “Warcraft” is a masterpiece, since it tries and often fails to reach “Game of Thrones” levels of drama and intrigue. In the attempts to be just as adult in its character dynamic and ideas about xenophobia, and warfare, it becomes tough to follow.

The first half hour has a lot of information to disperse to the general broader audience, and I literally had to sit at attention to hopefully absorb what exposition the writers were trying to relay to people that have never been in to the digital world of Azeroth. Much to my surprise I cared about the characters and conflicts. I wanted to see sword wielding hero Lothar stop the impending Orc invasion, all the while uncovering the rising evil tide of his kingdom’s powerful mage. Director Duncan Jones splits the time of the film between the Orcs and humans and turns Durotan in to a very complex hero with his own ideas about what can be gained by invading Azeroth.

All the while Jones stages some fun battle sequences, including a showdown between Lothar and a murderous general in the climax. While not everyone’s performances are top notch, Travis Fimmel is great as Lothar, while Toby Kebbell does a bang up job with his motion capture performance as Durotan. It’s up in the air at the moment if “Warcraft” will continue in to a second part of its epic tale; I’m not ashamed to admit I had a good time, and should we be granted a follow up, I just may return to see how the humans win back Azeroth.

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (OAV) (1999)

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Shut up, Tails! Granted, I have always liked the “Sonic” movie from 1999 that finds him battling Metal Sonic, but Tails has to be the most grating animated sidekick of all time. True, he’s still a useful superhero, but in the end I hated this character. “Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie” from 1999, originally made in 1996, is the anime continuation of the original animated series from the mid nineties. I speak of the very good animated adventure, not the crappy Looney Tunes knock off that aired almost at the same time. This time around Sonic is relaxing in his world alongside Tails, and finds out that Robotnik aka Eggman is back.

He’s kidnapped the president and his daughter, insisting Sonic and Tails must go to Eggmanland to stop his evil clone. Dark Robotnik is a robotic beast with massive wings who thinks like Robotnik, and Sonic has to travel to the city to stop the generator before it explodes. But things get tough as Sonic and Tails realize the city has a ton of hazards, and they’re hopelessly outnumbered. Plus, they don’t know that Robotnik has Hyper Metal Sonic, a robotic version of Sonic, waiting for him ready to be activated. Thankfully though, Sonic and Tails aren’t completely alone, as they gain the help of their rogue friend Knuckles.

Knuckles, once an anti-hero, is now an adventurous hero who takes it upon himself to make sure Sonic and Tails pull off their mission safely. “Sonic” is a short and sweet animated adventure with some darn good animation, and an excellent cyberpunk aesthetic that anime buffs and followers of the cyberpunk sub-genre will appreciate. Though, admittedly, the movie is slim on narrative, the director makes up for it with some killer action, and picturing Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles doing what they do best, and looking darn cool performing their signature moves we’ve seen in the classic games. This is a movie that still holds up; it was a lot of fun back in 1999, and it’s a good time today.

Steel (1997)

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

If you ever sat down and wondered “Why did it take so long for an Iron Man movie to hit theaters?” then you’d be wise to sit down and watch “Steel.” Not only did studios not invest in loyal adaptations of superheroes in the nineties, but the concept of a man in a metal suit fighting crime was impossible to put on screen. Especially if you have a studio unwilling to invest in committing to the concept and making it feel somewhat realistic with CGI. Steel was originally birthed as a Superman clone with a concept very similar to Iron Man. John Henry Irons was a weapons developer betrayed by his organization.

When Superman died, he took his weapons of mass destruction and used them to build a steel suit to help keep law and order in Metropolis. When Superman came back from the dead to take back his mantle, Steel became his own superhero with dignity and some sense of stature, but was always something of a fourth rate Iron Man clone. Obviously Warner took the concept and premise for this somewhat notable superhero and turned it in to a clunky and campy superhero adventure with zero stakes. Suddenly everything Jon Bogdanove, and Louise Simonson worked toward in making “Steel” somewhat of a hero in his own right was undone by this ridiculous movie. Here, there are only three vague references to Superman, while Shaquille plays an unconvincing military officer who is also developing weapons for combat. Judd

Nelson plays villain Nathaniel Burke whose lust for violence destroys their experiment causing John Henry Irons to be discharged from the military while Annabeth Gish as friend Sparky, is rendered a paraplegic. When John returns home, he learns his weapons are being streamlined for gang combat, and Nathaniel is behind it, making a deal with an arcade game exec to distribute and sell his high tech weapons. And he’s really evil, because they’re recruiting teenagers to test their weapons, booga, booga! “Steel” is a marvel of superhero cinema, mainly because it’s so painful watching Shaquille O’Neal stomping around in a heavy steel suit that looks so ill fitted to his form it gets gradually more embarrassing as the film unfolds. Why even bothering to adapt Steel is mind boggling, but adapting him in to this kids film makes the investment so much more horrendous.

The initial revelation of Shaq’s character John as Steel is supposed to be awe inspiring and cool, but Shaq looks so goofy in costume. It’s bad enough the suit looks heavy and clunky, Shaq can barely run around in it, but the helmet he wears makes him look awfully cross eyed. I’m willing to suspend my disbelief at a man running around in a clunky metal costume, but the police in the movie are so inept, they can barely keep up with the man moving as slow as molasses. Plus, it wouldn’t be too hard to find Steel’s alter ego. Just look for the only man in the city who is seven feet tall. From there, “Steel” is reliant on a heavy formula of repetition and camp that’s more obnoxious than cute.

To make the cruel experience more endurable here’s a good drinking game for you: Take two shots every time Shaq makes a basketball reference. Take a shot every time Shaq mumbles through a line. Take a shot every time Shaq rips something apart or breaks someone’s property. Take two shots every time Judd Nelson flares his nostrils. Your liver will be shot by the time the movie comes to a merciful close. Thankfully, “Steel” didn’t complete destroy the comic book movie, as it took “Blade” only a year later to prove comic book movies could be a bankable property worthy of an audience and franchise. The media usually credits “X-Men” but really, it started with “Blade.”

Roots: The Complete Original Series [Blu-Ray]

Posted on June 20, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Alex Haley’s epic television miniseries is one of the many television epics I always meant to watch over the years, but never had the chance to. Finally being given the proper window by Warner, I was not surprised that “Roots” ended up being a very good epic drama about slavery, and the struggle for freedom. “Roots” is one of those great cinematic success stories, where in 1977, network ABC in America didn’t expect the mini-series to do very well. Due to its predominantly African American cast, and very strong content, the network pretty much dumped every episode over the course of eight nights, rather than spacing it out to create an audience.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

I know that this is grounds for getting my “90’s Kid” membership card stripped from my hands, but the more I see “TMNT II,” the more I dislike it. Yes, it has camp value thanks to Vanilla Ice, but nostalgia lens aside, it’s a pretty crummy follow up to the 1990 movie. It’s basically the “Batman Forever” of the original TMNT movie series, a movie that waters down the formula of the Ninja Turtles. Hell, even like “Batman Forever,” the turtles are no longer urban legends working in the shadows, and become virtual celebrities by the climax. Much to the shock of everyone involved, 1990’s “TMNT” movie was a film for all ages that took violence seriously, and depicted actual consequences to actions and decisions.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

While 2014’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” was a watered down remake of the 1990 Jim Henson production, “Out of the Shadows” is a larger and sillier remake of “Secret of the Ooze” taking a lot of the ideas from the aforementioned film and realizing them to a more “TMNT” accurate vision. “Secret of the Ooze” had all the implications of the Krang, Baxter Stockman and the like, but “Out of the Shadows” takes that and re-introduces it to make about as much sense as it can. Rather than Tokka and Rahzar, we finally have Bebop and Rocksteady in their full disgusting glory, battling the Ninja Turtles, and playing stooges to the Shredder. “Out of the Shadows” isn’t a masterpiece by any means, but it’s ten times better than its 2014 predecessor.

That might be because it comes up with a radical new idea and focuses the majority of the sequel on the titular Ninja Turtles. April O’Neil is still a major character but is pushed to the sidelines more and more, allowing the characters we came to see a bigger spotlight and more of a chance to grow and blossom. The Platinum Dumbs version of the turtles is still wildly imperfect and stupid, but “Out of the Shadows” is at least fun, and tries to give us as many elements from the canon as possible. After Shredder’s plans from the first film are thwarted, he’s taken to jail and sent to a maximum security prison, supervised by Officer Casey Jones. When Shredder is broken free by his foot clan, he brings along thugs Bebop and Rocksteady to set off a plan to take over the world alongside a new alien ally.

Armed with mad scientist Baxter Stockman, Shredder plans to build a mutant army, and use his alien allies to help him rule. When the Turtles, with the help of April, learn of the mutagen, they learn the ooze has potential to turn them in to humans. With the turtles still pariahs of the city, Raphael is tempted to become human, while Leonardo tries to convince them to stay true to themselves. This time around there’s a larger focus on the dynamics of the brothers, as Leo and Raph bicker and fight for command over this current development, while Michelangelo is no longer making erection jokes, and is now the party dude we know and love, making cracks, fawning over pizza, and approaching every challenge with a chuckle worthy of Spiccoli. Stephen Amell is also a fun addition to the cast, providing a charismatic take on Casey Jones.

“Out of the Shadows” is a really good time and about as close to great as can be expected from something starring Megan Fox. I wish she’d drop out and allow an actress with actual ability and chemistry with her co-stars to take the reins as April. “Out of the Shadows” also has no idea how to handle so many elements of the narrative as there’s so much going on for a hundred minute movie. A lot of conflicts are tacked on, sub-plots go nowhere, and Splinter being retconned to have no connection to Shredder makes him a virtually pointless addition to the team. He literally does nothing but meditates in the background and offer convenient pearls of wisdom to his sons, with no actual emotional investment in their battle. You could have cut Splinter out of this movie, and it would have had no effect on the overall production.

Meanwhile there is the gaping wide hole of the new mutagen presented from Dimension X and the Krang. If the mutagen turns Bebop and Rocksteady from humans to animals, why can the mutagen possibly turn the turtles in to humans? They weren’t humans before they became teenage turtles. The implication of being mutants is that they’re anthropomorphic and human like, so wouldn’t they revert back to normal everyday turtles if given the mutagen? Also, I’m not a science wiz, but since when do the turtles have human DNA in them? Wouldn’t becoming human being a mutation be very redundant to the narrative? That said, if you can forgive the canyon wide plot hole, “Out of the Shadows” is an entertaining diversion that improves on a lot of the glaring flaws from the 2014 reboot.

Top Five Favorite Moments in 1990’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”

Posted on June 6, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

In 1990, just two days after TMNT 1990 premiered in theaters, my dad took my brother and me to see it in theaters in Manhattan one afternoon. It was just the three of us in what felt like a humongous theater, draped in the dark as the Turtles my brother and I worshipped finally jumped on to the screen after saving April O’Neil from being killed by the Foot Clan.

While I don’t particularly love the current cinematic incarnations of the TMNT, I hope there are kids out there getting the same awe inducing experience with “TMNT: Out of the Shadows” as I did when I was seven. “TMNT ‘90” still holds up very well today, with some excellent action set pieces, great humor, and so many quotable moments. Here are only five of my favorite moments in a movie filled with some banner scenes.

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